advice on helping my son with new glasses?

[Jethers]

My 3 year old boy developed a slight, occasional squint in his left eye. We took him to the opticians who said his eye was very weak. We've been referred to the eye hospital and he may have to wear a patch for a while, but in the meantime he's just got some glasses.

The problem is, he doesn't like wearing them. He's very sweet and will put them on when I ask him, but if I go away for anything when I come back he's taken them off. It doesn't help that he says he can't see better with them, he says he can't see properly when they're on. I gather from previous posts from folk who have strong prescriptions that it takes a while to get used to them, but it makes it harder that I can't say something along the lines of 'but doesn't it help you to see better? so don't you want to keep wearing them?'

My question is, does anyone have any advice or experience of persuading such a young child to wear glasses (and probably eventually the patch) when he doesn't want to? Regards the patch, I imagine saying we're playing a pirate game will only work until he realises its not really optional. Please help?

Hi Jethers. My 3 year old DD also has to wear glasses, and her right eye is patched for 3 hours a day, for the same reason as your DS. I was really concerned that we were not going to be able to get her to wear either, but after some initial teething problems and self consciousness on her part (particularly around the patch), we are now at the point where she accepts both glasses and patch as part of her day.

Firstly, I would tell everyone who hasn't seen him in his glasses yet, and ask them to make a big fuss of him the minute they see him with them on. We found that really helped (and it was good to head off any unintentionally negative responses from older adults like my FIL...). So my friends and family all said things like "oh wow! what amazing glasses you have - you look so cool!" etc.

Your little boy obviously already has his glasses, and you have probably already done this, but I think it helped that we got DD involved in choosing the frames (hers have teddies on the side and she likes to show them off to people now). We actually got her two pairs (one has the patch on to make changeover time easy) and so when she doesn't want to wear one it is easy to give her the choice between the two pairs, rather than the choice between glasses or no glasses, IYSWIM.

Then there is that old chestnut - bribery. DD was allowed to choose a special toy at the toy shop after a couple of weeks of wearing the glasses, and another one when we had to introduce the patch. She had absolutely no time for the idea that she was a pirate, although there is a little boy at her preschool who does wear a pirate patch.

Finally, DD seems to have more respect for the opinions of doctors than she does for those of her parents so when we sat her down and said that the doctor had said she must wear the glasses/patch, she seemed to take that quite seriously.

One last point and then I will shut up. I would keep an eye on what your DS says about whether or not the the glasses are helping. It is true that they take some getting used to, particularly when they are strong prescriptions (DD's are like coke bottles, bless her) but if he is insistent that they don't help him see, it might be worth taking him back to get the prescription checked. DD will freely admit that she sees better with her glasses on, and did so from a very early stage in the process.

Good luck!!

Sorry - I know I said I would shut up but I have just remembered one other thing - there are some good children's books out there about characters who wear glasses. We have a Charlie and Lola one, and I think that helped too (Lola really really wants to wear glasses because her friend has some, and is very disappointed when she doesn't need to, so she makes some of her own). You could also try making a pair of glasses with him, for his favourite teddy.

There. I think I'm done.

Thanks, slightly tired! Hopefully I'll be able to apply that to him over the coming weeks and it'll be ok!

Hi Optician hat on - the glasses may not help your son to see better, especially if the right eye doesn't have much of a prescription. But really important to wear them!

I agree bribery and making a big fuss when he wears them helps.

Harry Potter was the key to encouraging my son to wear his glasses. I bought Harry Potter style for him but not sure they are still doing them. I encouraged him to wear the glasses initially for limited activities until he got used to them.ie. if we play with lego then the glasses need to be on.

At the age of 10 we got him contact lenses.

He had to wear a patch after school for a while and I never made him wear it outside the house.

Mine got glasses at two. I found just quietly putting them back on whilst distracting with a new activity helped. i.e. put them on sneakily whilst saying "shall we do a puzzle now". She was a lot better at wearing them once she went to pre-school - seemed to forget they were on.