Who gets up at night?

[spacetraveler]

I have been getting up at night(for the baby) EVERY night for 13 months, My husband told me yesterday that he has a problem with the fact that I sigh when the baby cries.

He thinks that I dread getting up and he has a problem with this (he is right I do dread it, because I am exhausted) . He says its the only thing he expects from me because I am at home with the baby, and he has to work. I don't have a problem with getting up most of the time, BUT I feel I am at a point where I am going to crack if someone doesn't help me.

Who gets up in your house do you take turns? Do you ever get a night off?

I do it because DD won't settle with DH. :(

He tries sometimes, but she just ramps up the screams and I have to go through anyway. If I go through she generally is settled and back in bed after 60 seconds. If he goes through I have to listen to 5 or 10 minutes of sobbing, screaming, coughing, etc and then I go through, and within 5 seconds of me taking her she's calmed down.

I know it's not helping if I go through and take over, but if I leave them, a) I can't sleep anyway and b) she'll probably scream till she's sick and then I'll have to go through and help clear up and resettle her anyway.

Not only that, he's vile when he doesn't have enough sleep!

Was just talking to a friend. He said he had no idea what his wife had to put up with until after they'd got divorced and he had the children by himself at weekends!

I usually get up if dd wakes as she goes back to sleep with a BF. She's 10 months though now and rarely wakes during the night, so it's not so much of an issue in our house.

If she wakes more than a couple of times (and this has happened once or twice with teething and illness) then I get up first to try a BF, then dh goes to her the second time to have a snuggle and give her some medicine if she needs it.

I really don't get this I'm working full time so you can do nights rubbish - you're doing the days... and 'it's the only thing he expects' ?? Does he think you just park your dc in a playroom and leave her to it for the day?!

I'm a male parent who works 'full time'(I have Wednesdays and Thursdays off for childcare but have to work weekends), as well as having done extended periods of SAH parenting (just like my partner). We always shared, even when she was breastfeeding (EBM helped, but so too did me settling DCs after a feed while my partner took the sleepy hit). It would never occur to me to do anything but take as even a part as possible during the times we were both capable of looking after OUR children.

Some of the best moments in my life were (and now are) the quiet cuddling and feeding of my children in a night-lit room, feeling hugely close to them and also that my partner would be able to be all she could be the next day as a result of my 'work'. Your DH is missing something huge, and it won't come back once gone, and needs to be told to start getting up for his own sake, and to understand why you can sigh but still (I assume) love the experience at some level, and why not to make comments like that.

I'm bf, during the week it's me BUT dh takes over at 6 and takes dd downstairs and I get uninterrupted sleep till 7.30 when he goes to work, that really helps as I'm not sleeping with one part of brain listening to the monitor. At the w.e. If social occasions don't get in the way and I'vemanaged to express enough then dh will get up and do a feed during the night plus one of us gets a sleep in on Sat and the other on Sunday.