DS really doesn't like my friend and her kids

[Rillyrillygoodlooking]

DS has just turned 3. We moved to another country about 5 months ago, and I have made one very good friend who has two DC, one who is also 3.

DS really doesn't like them! He tries to go in the other direction when we go to their house, he cries and starts throwing things every time the 3 year old girl cries, and after about 1-1.5 hours asks to go home or says Bye bye to them if they are round ours.

He is just about ok while we are there, plays on his own and sometimes next to her two DCs but if there is a hint of crying he gets really upset.

I can't not see them as she is my only close friend here, and I can't just cut people off. But I don't know how to deal with DS and his "upsetness".

DS doesn't talk very well yet so can't tell me why he doesn't like them!

What would you do?

I don't reckon it's because he doesn't like them....I reckon it's because at 3 they are still learning how to "be" with other people outside of the totally subjective family unit. (does that make sense?)

It sounds more as if he has an issue with the noise from the crying rather than with the children themselves. Could that be the case?

I'm also in furrin land and stalked made friends with an American woman who had a little boy who was dd's age. Now that I think about it, the children never got on particularly well, but she and I needed each other to maintain our sanity and so the kids weren't really given any choice. What we used to find was that dd would play on her own, her son would play on his own, but in the same room. They'd rub along without any true "friendship" ever coming out of it.

Hope you find some more friends soon!

Thanks Bucharest. I am optimistically putting it down to the crying, but he genuinely seems distressed when he sees them and is so happy to go home!

I am hoping over time he will warm to them. He does play alongside children but is much happier playing on his own in general.

I have made a couple of friends/acquaintances, but I just need to ring them more.

I just seemed to click with this woman and now I have been lazy about finding other friends. TBH DH isn't overly keen on her either, but he is quite antisocial.

(and bumping for you so you catch the afternoon crowd!)

Is it more to do with your attention being on your friend rather than activly disliking seeing them? Maybe try and play/chat to him more while you are with your friends.

Thanks Bucharest!

bendy - DS would not care if someone is getting more attention than him, he doesn't really seek it.

But, he does cling onto me when we first get there and looks so distressed, slightly frightened.

I did encourage him to come and play in the same area with the other children, which he did. But he seems to only tolerate it for a while.