Hope someone can help. I have a cousin who is 21. She had her family really very young, and has DS1 (6), DS2 (4) and DD2 (3 months). Last year her DD1 died at 4 weeks old, and she struggled to come to terms with it, and got pregnant again after just a few months
She has really struggled with her DS2, to the point where he is now kicking, biting and screaming at her all the time. I went out with her last weekend with just her, DS2 and the baby, and he is absolutely awful to her. He tells her he hates her almost continually, and is physically very aggressive towards her. She doesn?t know how to respond to him, and generally just ignores him. Her DP doesn?t really get involved as he works a lot and tends to only see the DC in the evenings when they are a little calmer.
I am 37, with a 14 month old DS and have no experience in this whatsoever, and just don?t know how to help her or what to say.
He does go to nursery and has no problems there, - it?s just my cousin that he lashes out at, and I think she might be worried that he is going to hurt the baby.
I?ve gently suggested GP referral, counselling, behavioural specialists etc, but she is very suspicious of people in ?authority?
I know that DS2 has been through the mill a bit - he was devastated when his little sister died, and my cousin was pretty absent in the following few months, until the pregnancy, which (on the surface) helped her grief. I think that he has been far more affected than she realises, - but how to deal with it? She doesn?t speak to her parents (my aunt and uncle) and really doesn?t trust doctors, counsellors etc. I?m one of the few people that she does speak to, and I don?t know what to do for her!
Any suggestions gratefully received