Please HELP!! So tired!

[Gooddie]

DD is 13 months. She's been STTN since she was 12 weeks. The last 3 nights she's woken up anywhere from 1 to 3 and stayed awake for 3 hours!!

She starts off crying in her sleep so I turn her mobile on (this always worked up to now) but she wakes herself up eventually. She's upset at this stage so we bring her into our room but to console her might take half an hour (and I'm sooo conscious of the neighbour as walls are quite thin!). We put her back in the cot with mobile on. She's ok for a while then starts crying (more whinging than crying at first, then turns into proper crying) again. Eventually we go into her and bring her downstairs to watch tv for a while (even as I'm typing this I'm saying to myself "you clown...why are you letting her dictate?"). If she goes into our bed she's hyper...bouncing up and down the bed!! Last night she got so over-tired, she wouldn't sleep...DH had to get the buggy out and wheel her to sleep. This took 5 mins and up to the cot and slept until 8.30 this morning.

We are wrecked!! Can anyone help with this problem?

Just to say she only has 2 teeth but no more seem to be on the way at the moment. She eats loads. Her routine up to now has been:
7am 8oz bottle and 1 and half Weetabix
9am Nap...usually for 1 - 2 hours
12am Lunch (chicken casserole, etc)
2pm Nap...usually 30mins to 1 hour
3pm Snack (fruit and yoghurt)
5pm Tea (pasta or waffles, etc)
7pm 4-6 oz bottle
7.30 in bed

Are we letting her sleep too much in the day?
Has she got into a "bad" routine at night? I know we shouldn't watch tv in the middle of the night but it's so hard to console her, especially when we're tired!!
Also it's gone cold at night so that's another issue I'd say???

We'd be soooo grateful for any replies or help!!

Sympathy coming your way. Has she always slept like this or is it a new awful phase?

If the latter could it be the pre-walking terrible sleep phase that many seem to go through?

My DD did her first steps at 14 mths exactly, but the weeks before her sleep was absolutely horrendous. Once she got going with the walking, she settled down again (not least as it tires her out, all that toddling!)

maybe up the milk at bedtime to a full bottle? Make sure she isn't cold also - we have bought fleecy sleepsuits for DS because he doesn't like the sleeping bags and now he cruises round his cot I think he'll trip and fall on them. They do seem to go through odd phases but DS was similar to yours, brilliant sleeper from about 10 weeks and then everything went weird when I went back to work and he is also learning to walk just now.

Ah, just realised STTN means sleeping through the night.

Definitely sounds like the pre-walking phase to me, then! You just have to ride it out - its a phase. She will come out the other side soon.

When she was in this phase DD used to come in with me half way through the night while DH trooped off to the spare room. That worked pretty much OK so I think the main issue was not wanting to be on her own.

However you say she doesn't settle in your bed ...

My gut feeling is that the bringing her in your room, then back in her cot, then downstairs to watch TV, is a bit much. Have you tried keeping her in her room, and keeping it very dark and very calm, and replaying the routine you have at bedtime? That often worked for our DD. Sometimes we would read a little story very quietly, with only a nightlight on, have a sip of milk, put music back on, re-do up sleeping bag, and she would think it was bedtime again.

PS, it sounds like she has been a brilliant sleeper, so perhaps also now she isn't it's a bit of a shock for you and, together with the neighbour, you feel very stressed and anxious about her sleeping?

I used to get really anxious if mine didn't sleep, to the point where I think she was picking up on it and it made things worse. So I really forced myself to take a deep breath and literally say to myself - "look, so what if she doesn't sleep - we'll just be tired tomorrow. It's Ok to be a bit tired - not the end of the world, and life will go on! This is just a phase, she will come out of it soon enough".

It's hard to keep calm when you are knackered and desperate, but I think it helps them manage their own anxiety if you can keep a perspective on your own.

PPS

Me again, sorry! - also, don't feel bad about responding to her - if she is upset at night it's cos she needs you emotionally a bit more at the moment - perhaps it's separation anxiety, perhaps its the big step of thinking about walking (and the huge independence for her that comes with it).

I don't think you can spoil a 13 month old - this is a sleep phase and she will come through it the quicker the more reassuring you are.

That's my view of it anyway!

Thanks a million for your replies. Yes I am a bit more anxious than normal as my parents are minding her this weekend as we're going away. So nervous my poor mam and dad will be wrecked. (Although they're saying not to worry as they don't work so can sleep all day Monday if they want!).

yes we'll scrap the tv...we knew that was bad but so easy too. Won't do that again!

We'll put an extra layer on her tonight. Last night she wore a pyjamas (no socks), 2.5tog gro bag and a long sleeve vest. Her room was 16-17 degrees but it has been 20-21 all summer, so that's a big dip in temperature.

I never heard that about the pre-walking but it makes perfect sense as she's only started to stand up at the couch this week, so it's (finally!!) starting to happen for her!

Thanks again!!

Could also be teeth. Although you can't see them they still hurt as they're descending through the bone.

Agree with other advice, partic. making sure she realises it's still night time.

Try some calpol - might help teeth/growing/muscle pains.

Babies are funny things, mine only started sleeping through at 13 months. Don't panic, this will pass.