3 month old daytime nap problems

[eara]

Hi there. I am new to mumsnet and need help getting my 3 month old to nap during the day. She sleeps amazingly at night - 12/13 hours with 1/2 wakes for feeding and then straight back to sleep in her cot. I have a bedtime routine - bath, massage, feed to almost asleep then down in cot very sleepy but awake.

But during the day she seems to get tired after being up for an hour or even less and if we put her in the cot she screams the house down! The only thing that works is taking her for a walk in the pram and if I try rocking her back and forth in the pram in the house, she knows and starts crying! Sometimes she will fall asleep on me in the baby bjorn sling but usually with a cry first and about 20-30 mins of pacing round with her.

The other problem is she only naps for 30-40 mins each time and seems to get more and more tired as the day progreses and therefore more grouchy. And with her needing to nap every hour it means she needs 5 naps per day which means 5 walks round the park per day - I am exhaused!!

I know I am lucky she sleeps well at night and she obviously knows how to self soothe but why can't she apply what she does at night to the day? I think she needs longer naps but seems to wake after the first sleep cycle. twice she has woken after 30-40 mins in the pram and fallen back to sleep after about 15 minutes but I am triedfrom all the walking and can't just keep going every time on the off chance that she might fall back to sleep.

Any help would be great, thanks

First, your baby is getting plenty of sleep at night which is fantastic, so likely not sleep deprived even if not a good napper in the day. At three months, I would have said that a baby could be awake a little longer than one hour before needing a nap. I don't think five naps in a day is necessary: Mid-morning, lunchtime and afternoon is pretty generous I would say with such a good night's sleep under the belt. Most babies get more grouchy as the day goes on, even with naps, although obviously naps help.

I would be happy with a sleep cycle's worth of sleep for a nap, I almost think that's more important than being woken at the wrong time of a second or third cycle as far is grumpiness is concerned!

I also had one who wouldn't nap in the day and would only sleep on the move and I don't have a miracle cure unfortunately. He was just a very cuddly baby and didn't like being put down at all so I think he could fight it in the day but would do it for a core sleep at night (I also have an older DD so it was much harder to stick to a routine for baby). We also did a lot of walking, but go easy on yourself and cut down on the walks. Can you return home once baby has dropped off? My DS would stay napping in the pram in the hall if I'd got him to sleep for 20 mins on a walk.

I eventually got my DS to nap once a day in a cot at about 7 months. I would let him cry for 10 mins each lunchtime and over a period of three weeks he surprised us both by starting to drop off. Champion lunchtime napper for two more years. So there is hope...

Came on here loking for tips on this. My DD is 4.5 mo and has always been a rubbish napper. Am hoping somebody posts on here with some magic remedy. Night times are as follows, bath and feed and down by 8, up for feeds at 12 and 4 and she's decided it's get up time at around 5.15 . For a week or so I was managing to get her down for a morning nap about two hours after she got up. She'd only stay asleep for 30 or 40 mins. Now she's not having any of it. Will only daytime nap in car or pram but once we're back home only stays asleep for another ten mins. She needs more sleep and is starting to get grouchy late afternoon. I want her to start taking naps in the house as really worried that being on the move is the only option and Winter's on itsway. Even if we don't get answers at least we know we're in the same boat.

We were having the exact same problem, but I think (hope!) we've found an answer which works for us. We realised that we'd slipped into the habit of feeding right before bedtime... which means that our DD was getting used to that as a prop before sleep. During the day I pretty much follow the EASY routine (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You) which is supposed to help babies to digest their milk, then sleep when they are tired, without needing to be fed-to-sleep. We needed to make sure that this routine applied throughout the whole day. At bedtime we now do feed at 6.30pm, bath at 7pm and we do a pick-up-put-down routine until she settles (takes about 5 mins) so DD is now asleep by 7.30pm. She sleeps through until 6.30am, with no feeds during the night. During the daytime we do the same pick-up-put-down routine on a cycle of about 3 hours (she sleeps for around 30mins each time, which I know isn't that long, but I checked with health visitor today and they think it's fine). She seems much more content with this routine. Can only hope it'll last!

Another non-napping 4 month old here. We have great nights (e.g.10pm-6.30am), so I have decided I'm just very lucky and must not complain. She might fall asleep for 30 mins at a time, 3-4 times per day e.g. while lying on me.

To begin with i used to beat myself up getting her in the sling and going for big walks - if i can get her past that first sleep cycle wake-up, then she can sleep a good couple of hours in the sling. But now she's getting too heavy for that to be much fun for me and I have discovered that it doesn't affect her night times if she doesn't get a big nap. So don't stress about it, try to forget the chores and enjoy your night-times. It doesn't last for long after all...

hello I would advise to having a few quiet days at home to try and get a daytime routine established for naps, about an hr 1/2 - 2 hours after she wakes in the morning take her back to her cot, are you using the little sleeping bags? If so put her back in. Make sure its as dark as poss and put her down. If she screams go in and reassure every 5 mins or so, eventually she will settle. My dd would have about an hours kip every morning between 9am-10am which worked out well for me as this is when I would get showered,dressed and have a quick sort out! And then I would try and keep her awake if poss for 2 hours and then do the same thing, put her back up in her cot, dark and quiet. If she wakes after 40mins then allow her 10mins or so before going in (unless she is really screaming!) as she might surprise you and resettle herself. They do eventually get the hang of it, my dd would go for a lovely 2 hour sleep every afternoon!!! You might find again at 3.30ish she seems tired again but I would keep any nap at this time to max 40mins so as to keep your nighttimes as good as they are! Good luck.

I have a 6 week old and am reading these posts with interest as I'm confused about the napping/sleeping thing! Not sure if it's too early to be worried but I also don't want to get into bad habits. DD gets a bath and feed at about 8pm and naturally seems to fall into a deep sleep about 9pm. She then usually wakes about 11pm for a feed and then again at 2.30/3am. She only seems to be able to stay asleep for about 2.5 hours, and is really hard to settle back down after a feed (can take another hour). She also doesn't sleep during the day unless I've got her in the car or pushchair. If I try to put her down in the moses basket for a nap she wakes after about 10 mins and screams the house down. Any ideas on how I can get her to nap during the day? People talk about putting babies down to nap, but no-one seems to suggest how to do it if they resist! Thanks!

Thanks for the advice. I know it sounds weird that at 3 months my daughter gets tired after just 1 hour but she really does. I tried to push it for another 10 minutes this morning - big mistake! I put her in the sling and she screamed the house down for half an hour and I ended up feeding her to sleep which I really didn't want to do. I made the mistake of sitting down on the sofa when I thought she was really asleep. she then woke up crying after 10 minutes and wouldn't go back to sleep. The wole day has been a nightmare since then.

I am thinking some sort of pick up put down/controlled crying is the only answer. But what is the best way to do it? Do you just pick them up and shush them when they cry and put them down when they are quiet and pick them straight back up when they cry or leave them for a certain period of time? Do you put a time limit on it when you take them out of their room and feed them again or just stick with it until the bitter end. But surely there comes a point when they are genuinely hungry again. I know my daughter - she is stubborn and will know doubt scream for hours!

I do feed my daughter right before bed so maybe like you cluckchick, we may be confusing her. Bu I am loath to change the bedtime routine, its the only bit that works!

Thanks!

The way I did it was I would take her up to her cot, if she had tights on or trousers take them off (so she wouldn't be uncomfy or too hot) put her in her little sleeping bag, make sure it was as dark as poss (blackout blinds - or in my case hang a thick blanket up at the window!!) if she starts to cry, sit near by and just pat her tummy gently and make a shushing noise. If she starts screaming pick her up and rock gently until she stops and then put down again once shes calm! 3 months is IMO a bit young to leave them any longer than 5-10mins crying without you there IYSWIM?! Also if it helps 3 months is a big leap developmentally for babies and I can remember my dd being very sensitive and crying a lot at this age. It does get eaiser I promise!!!

Thanks girliefriend for your advice, I think I will follow your advice and start on Monday when I know I have a few clear days and try to get things sorted. Hopefully she is just having a bit of a crying phase and it will pass, but i do need to sort out this daytime napping. When I have tried putting her in the cot in the day before she has started crying when I put her in the sleeping bag, and is in meltdown by the time I put her down so I guess I will just have to be strong and persevere.
Thanks

My DS has always (and still does at 2yo) got tired after a shorter time at the start of the day and managed longer periods awake as the day went on.

If she needs a sleep after an hour in the morning I'd go with it, maybe she can stay awake a little longer after that first nap, say 1.5 hours?

Thanks Squirrelonmyhead (great name!). This morning she actually went for 1.5hr before her first nap and then took 15 min to go to sleep so that is progress. But then slept for 30min and woke up grumpy and seemed tired after about 30 min and then the whole day went from bad to worse with utter meltdown, we are exhausted.

Tomorrow we are going to start putting her in her cot and doing the controlled crying/pick up put down to get her to sleep. Hopefully she will get better sleep and maybe start sleeping for longer in her cot in a dark room.

Thanks for all your advice and wish me luck!

My 5month old still only goes around 1hr 30 mins before needing a nap, at that age she was sleeping every hour or so, and very hard to get off during the day. It did get easier though as she gets older.

I have a 12 week old who has never had a proper daytime nap in his moses basket. He lasts a max of 10 mins and then will scream the walls off. I've bought a sling so that I can get some stuff done. I've tried all sorts and come to the view that he will do it when he's ready and in the meanwhile as long as he gets some sleep on me, in the pram or in the car then it is better than nothing! And he sleeps like a dream at night!

Thanks everyone for your replies. We started putting my daughter in her cot for daytime naps on Sunday. First time was horrible - proper meltdown. We left her for a few minutes and went in and shushed her when she was getting really worked up. That just seemed to make her worse so I picked her up and that made her even worse! But I held her until she calmed down and put her back in her cot and repeated that a couple of times and she was asleep - well, quiet in her cot within 20minutes which I think is pretty good for the fist time.

Since then she generally cried for a couple of minutes but usually the on off grumbling type of cry that you know you can leave as she will get herself to sleep. A couple of times she has got really worked up and one time on day 2 it took 1hr45min and the hairdrier to get her to sleep - that was awful. But that was one time when I was trying to keep her up a bit longer and didn't act on a yawn. She was up 1hr20 minutes - it seems like you can't miss her sleep window by even 5 minutes!!

But day 3 and 4 (today) have gone really well and I haven't had to shush her at all. She seems to be able to stay up a bit longer before the first sleep but we have to be more careful in the afternoon when she is more tired and seems to find it more difficult to settle herself.

So we are on 5 sleeps per day, 6 yesterday as she got up at 5.45! I know its an unusual routine for a 3 month old but it seems to be working and I know in time she will be able to stay up a little bit longer and may even sleep for longer than 40 minutes.

The only other thing i have read about is when she wakes up from a nap and starts crying, to go in and shush her and try to get her back to sleep. Currently I leave her until she is just starting to get to a cry - ususally about 10 minutes to see if she will re-settle but she doesn't. Has anyone successfully tried that?