4 year old being unkind and unfriendly with other children

[ifiwereamillionaire]

I am just in after dropping ds (4) at nursery. On the way there he started a random conversation about best friends and telling me who his are...two boys one his age and one age 6 (friends son). We had a chat about how to make friends and being a good frend etc and everything he said was great ... talking nicely, playing nicely, sharing etc

We got to school and a boy I don't know came running up to ds smiling, happy, saying hi seeming very excited to see him and ds responded nicely....until his best friend come over and ds turned to the other boy telling him i'm not your friend ...said it loudly a couple of times before I could shout him over. The boy looked so sad and hurt and I was seriously unhappy. DS what he said was rude and never to say it again then to appologise .. which he did.

I spoke to him before leaving about our conversation in the car and explained he could be friends with more than two people then the teacher called me over to say since returning to school he has started contradicting everyone and everything, telling other children what to do/they are doing wrong and being generally unfriendly with them.

They will be working with him but I am hoping for some great MN advice...

I don't think you should worry too much, it is very age appropriate, although unpleasant.
Your DS won't be the only child displaying this behaviour, he has picked it up from somewhere?!
I would keep reinforcing good behaviours and be careful what you are modelling at home with your relationship with other family members. Hold your DS accountable and don't put your head in the sand and you will be doing far more than most.

Thanks for your reply.

I am working with the teacher and at home to sort it out. She was happy with his behaviour yesteday after I left so we will keep going.

He is acting out behaviour I have seen in his 6 year old friend....making fun of other childrens toys, tv prog they like, calling them a baby and excluding their younger brother/sister from games. We always step in when we see or hear something like this but obviously can't deal with it at school or when they are playing together at softplay/ upstairs.

It is a comfort ...in a strange way ... that it is typical behaviour we can work on.