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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Not much eye contact in my 9 weeks old. Normal?

19 replies

CiaraD · 13/09/2005 14:03

I have three children, the youngest is 9 weeks old. He is a good baby but doesn't make much eye contact - it's really hard to get him to look at me. He is very smiley though when he does. I can't remember what my other children did at this age. Would you expect a nine week old to engage a lot with you and make eye contact???

I promised myself I would not worry about my third baby, and look it's started already!!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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MrsMiggins · 13/09/2005 14:22

hi ciaraD
my dd had no eye contact at similar age.
she was smiley IF you talked to her but if you stood silently grinning, she did nothing.

I told HV who told dr at my 8 week check. DR turned lights down and shone spotlight at side of DD's head - she didnt turn !
quite scary
referal made

however about 12 weeks old, she suddenly started focusing & by 6 mths check, all seemed fine

DVM - delayed Visual maturation
quite common & sorted its self out - no long term damage - had check couple of months ago & all fine

I would see your GP if you're worried.

Redtartanlass · 13/09/2005 14:54

My ds2 would never make eye contact and as he got older made it quite clear he didn?t like cuddles either, really hurtful when you are a very tactile person. I was sure he was autistic. However he is now 20 months, eye contact is normal and he is even starting to give kisses and sit on my lap for a story, still not into cuddling, but hey they?re not all alike are they? Don?t know if that helps?

Original poster

CiaraD · 13/09/2005 19:30

Thanks - when I put him close to my face he seems to look at my hair and also at the things behind me and past me. Sometimes I can get his attention and he appears to be looking into my eyes. He sometimes smiles then. Am I worrying about nothing?

OP posts:

Twiglett · 13/09/2005 19:30

yes you are worrying about nothing .. he's 9 weeks old fgs .. he hardly knows he's there

Nightynight · 13/09/2005 19:41

Ciara, Im still trying to get my nearly 2 year old to look at me instead of into the distance!

Original poster

CiaraD · 13/09/2005 19:43

TBH I think I am the one with the problem - I worry far too much. My middle child has a speech delay and I worried about autism with him for months and months. He is fine, but behind in speech. Seems I've started the worry game even earlier with this wee one.

OP posts:

Original poster

CiaraD · 13/09/2005 19:47

...it's also clear that I spend too much time on the Internet and read too much. Too much info is a dangerous thing!!!

OP posts:

CeeTee · 13/09/2005 20:18

Ask your Dr about congenital cataracts, When my Ds was born I refused to belive that anything was wrong with him, he was perfect to me.
My Aunt (Thank God for her) convinced me to talk to his Dr about it.
My baby had congenital cataracts.
He has had 4 surgerys (2 to remove cataracts & 2 to implant intraoccular lenses)& is now doing wonderfully.
Go with your gut, all you have to do is ask your babys Dr., If you are wrong & the baby is fine then that will be pressure taken off of your back.
I wish you the best CiaraD.

suedonim · 13/09/2005 22:28

Ciara, small babies do look at the hairline to begin with - they home in on an area of contrast first of all rather than eyes. My youngest spent all her time either looking at my hairline or gazing at a velux window in our bedroom! But as she got older she made more and more eye contact.

handlemecarefully · 13/09/2005 22:29

At 9 weeks - no not really. Still very newborn.

bunsOFsteele · 13/02/2013 14:30

My dd2 is 7 weeks old and I'm worrying about the same thing - she does make eye contact but generally looks away to the side when picked up, at windows / lights / hairline.... feel a bit reassured by these comments and will ask dr at 8wk check. Hope all is ok with yours Ciara x

TeaandHobnobs · 13/02/2013 14:44

I worried about this a lot, it seemed to take a long time for DS to register us and rarely made eye contact (he was prem so I worried there may be something wrong)

Can't remember when it changed but he is now 9.5m and wants to make eye contact with EVERYONE!

I suspect you just need to give him time (maybe things will change from 12 weeks ish), but mention it to your HV if you are really concerned

jaja1974 · 06/10/2013 23:02

Update???

gandrsmom · 15/10/2020 16:17

I have to say that I found this thread and swore that I would come back to give my update. My son was still not looking at us or staring like most babies do at 10-11 weeks old. We had him at therapy for his torticollis and the therapist even said to keep watching for this because it could be an issue.

Somewhere around 12ish weeks, he started looking at us and focusing on us. He now bats at toys and smiles at me from across the room. It just took him longer than other babies. He is 5 months old and a VERY engaged baby. Please don't stress - I know it's hard - I cried every night searching the internet for some plausible answer. Give it time. Best of luck from a former worried momma.

BHARUN · 24/10/2020 04:09

How is the baby now? My lo is 8 weeks old and doesn't make an eye contact.

danielamum · 28/02/2023 16:30

Hi, I just wanted to write on one of these posts. As 3 years ago, I was in similar situation. I had a baby who would not look me in the eyes when breast feeding, would very rarely smile, and would avoid eye contact. I went extra mile to make a connection with him, would hold him all the time, go for walks, and put extra effort to be affectionate. I was worried sick (going on google and reading all the forum posts didn't help!). I just want to say that today he is a young little boy, who I am not concerned at all. He has little frends, loves to play, is very affectionate, has his opinions, doesn't want to shout up, and is absolute joy to be around! For a mum who is in similar situation, and is reading all the posts to find a bit of hope, I know its hard not to worry, but hopefully you will find bit of hope in my post!

mthrofflwr · 01/03/2023 16:21

@ddanielamum but my baby intentionally avoiding like if my mil hold her she looks everything but if I come across her face she hide her face as if she is shy... everytime this happens....and laying her on my lap facing me is horrible she literally lifts her head up cry cry until we put her down.....she like to be cuddle really like contact sleep ...but when she is in her floor mat or bed she gives tons of eye contact and smiles .... I don't know what to do... this continuing since birth she 3months 2weeks old ..Plz let me know is this typical or atypical behaviour?

Ldad23 · 01/05/2023 18:10

Hey, wonder if you have any update on your little one?

Mumtopoppyandarchie · 12/02/2024 12:15

Going through a smiliar thing with my little one now and these posts have given me hope as I sit here a bit tearful in a cafe whilst my newborn sleeps

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