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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Please help- 2.4yr screaming doesn't like her bedroom

16 replies

hatemarmite · 19/10/2010 20:15

My dd has always been a good sleeper, gone to bed well and seemed to enjoy the bedtime routine.

About 2 weeks ago she had a nightmare, and ever since then everything has changed. She screams that she doesn't like her bedroom, doesn't like going to sleep, and wants to be with me in my bed or on the sofa.

Last week I brought her downstairs as I was worried about her waking my exhausted ds (who has just started reception)and she instantly curled up and fell asleep on the sofa.

But this week I've left her to cry, just popping up occasionally to encourage her to get back into bed (she has a stairgate on her door)

Last might she screamed for an hour and a half before falling asleep. She slept thru but as soon as she woke this morning she screamed again. Previous nights she has woken in the night screaming and also woken my ds!

I have tried moving her bedroom furniture around, letting her out some stickers of her choice on her bed, and getting rid of a toy monkey she didn't like. I'm finding it very upsetting hearing her screaming, and am desperate to just go and get her out her bedroom and cuddle her :(

Any advice would be appreciated!
Thank you

P.s. This is my first post! I'm obviously not very imaginative as it took me ages to find a username that hadn't gone!!!

OP posts:

Flojo1979 · 19/10/2010 20:20

Cuddle her on the sofa, and if shes still there at 18 who cares!!

Nuttybear · 19/10/2010 20:23

I haven't been in your position. All I can say is this is a phase and you can't let it become a pattern. When My DS cried that he could sleep (6 now I'm shocked how I've now forgotten bits and pieces) DH and myself have followed the same routine. Brush teeth, Bath (now a shower works too) story with the teddies, then lights out with a song (we are not great singers)then he snuggles down. But we have had months where he has cried (I can't remember him saying he hates his room!) We would stay with him in the dark not speaking until he sleeps. It's very very boring but we stuck to our guns of not letting him down stairs with us or in our bed (unless he is ill or the night of the nightmare) This seems to have worked for us Hope this helps or gets people to read your thread.
Welcome to the Coven [hsmile]

Nuttybear · 19/10/2010 20:24

ops! I mean couldn't sleep. & while I was writing the memories flooded back that he did cry at bedtime [hblush]

hidingunderthecovaarrrggghh · 19/10/2010 20:26

Do you think a nightlight would help, or door being left open? Is it the dark she is scared of? Has she been able to explain what is worrying her?

Original poster

hatemarmite · 19/10/2010 20:34

Thank you for replying!

I agree I don't want it to become a pattern. I just hope its a short phase!

She has a nightlight but she doesn't want it on. I leave her door open and the landing light on. She is able to talk quite well, she just keeps saying she doesn't like her bedroom. She told me the nightmare she had was about a "ghostie". Its not a word we use so I knew it was from ds book (which has now been hidden!)

OP posts:

Nuttybear · 19/10/2010 20:37

We leave the light on in the hall too!

Puddlet · 19/10/2010 20:43

Have you tried getting a fairy wand and using it to chase the ghosties away? Sometimes I think it helps to try and deal with it imaginatively...

Ladydutchalot · 19/10/2010 20:49

Many many night lights. Dd has a string of lights (rubber ducks) and a torch light (are they go glows or something? The nightlight that turns into a torch?) that help, so if she wakes in the night she can flash it around the room just in case. Just let her know you are there, and while you are there nothing can hurt her. I know you said she doesn't want the night light on, but the strings of lights aren't as bright as a night light. I refused to sleep without my HUGE biggest on the market maglight as a child, just in case the burglars came!

Dd just hates the feeling of being on her own, it makes her insecure, and this seems to be the case with most children, so feeling that you are near is always helpful.

Original poster

hatemarmite · 19/10/2010 20:55

Thank you, I like the suggestions of chasing the ghosties with a fairy wand and also puting lots of lights up!

OP posts:

MrsSnaplegs · 19/10/2010 21:08

do you have any pets? My DD doesn't haven't monsters under the bed or in her wardrobe because we have special guard cats who keep them away (the dog is too lazy!)

Original poster

hatemarmite · 19/10/2010 21:38

We have a cat too! Dd loves him, so thats definitely a good option too!
I'm so glad I posted here!!

OP posts:

Jacinda · 19/10/2010 22:04

She seems to be genuinely terrified. Def wouldn't leave her to cry for hours. Perhaps you could stay next to her bed until she falls asleep?

Original poster

hatemarmite · 19/10/2010 22:12

I feel awful now- I don't leave her to cry for hours, I keep popping back to reassure her and sometimes I have brought her into my bed or on the sofa with me.
I have asked her if she wants me to get in bed with her but she doesn't as she won't even get into her bed! She stands by the stairgate screaming.
She fell asleep after an hour tonight. I stayed in my room the whole time, which is just opposite hers and kept popping out to reassure her but she just got more distressed :(

OP posts:

AmelieMay · 19/10/2010 22:46

Mybe just sit qietly in her room by the door and don't talk? x

Nuttybear · 20/10/2010 17:50

2nd AmelieMay suggestion boring but needs must!

BlueberryPancake · 20/10/2010 18:47

DS had nightmares for a little while. We made a bed for him on our bedroom floor. We told him that he had to fall asleep in his own bed, and if he had a bad dream he could come and sleep in our bedroom. He did and the bed was there for about 6 months. He just walked in our bedroom and quietly went in his bed on the floor. He grew out of it on his own. It's an option, but we are softies and it's not for everyone.

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