Angel dd 4.5 since starting school has turned into a monster

[MCDL]

Since starting school this september dd has turned into a monster. Her attitude is appalling. Everything is 'NO', her temper when she does not get her own way is very tough to deal with, kicking shouting etc. She has learned the work 'fuck it' and repeats it over and over again when told not to use it. She is very demanding and bossy to both dp and i.

She loves school, it is an all irish school and very disiplined, she is very eager to learn, perhaps to eager to be the best at everything, this may be the problem, there is one boy in particular she is coming home telling stories about spitting, playing up in school and bad language, she seems to be looking up to this type of behaviour. Finding it very difficult to know what to do. Any advice.

My first thought would be that she is acting up through tiredness. Plus you are getting all the bed behaviour that is stored up through the school day - she is probably behaving much better at school.

I'd try a 6/6.30pm bedtime.

And keep telling her just because she sees and hears stuff at school it does not make it acceptable at home. At home she follows your rules.

Yes indeed, going to bed too late. It is nine mostly before she is asleep, the hour change next week will help with that. She is as you say very good in school ...

Bad behaviour - not bed, sorry.

Fingers crossed that the clock change does help, plus half term will give her a chance to rest and recharge.

Sounds familiar - both mine turned into horrors when they started school - allow really calm environment, then food, then early bed

She's tired and probably hungry. DD (4) is a horror straight after school so the first thing we do is have dinner and she really improves after that.

Yes am thinking it is tiredness to a point and the freedom of school, playing in the yard with the older ones etc. We will have to ride the storm with her. After all 'Whats in the dog is in the pup' !, think it is very important though not to be too hard on her. School is a big change emotionally for the little ones and she is doing really well there.

This sounds quite like my 4 year old. Also just started school and just being such hard work. On a bad day he is "No" to everything which makes the whole day such a battle. I've noticed that as the day goes on (he finishes school at 1pm at the moment) heis behaviour deteriorates down to hitting, biting, kicking and being a real pain. He then falls asleep on the sofa whilst I'm making tea, so full of beans again at bedtime ....
He is really quite heavy and strong and hard work for me to lug around when he's on a no phase. Last week I was trying to get him to hold my hand and he pulled away so that he ended up partially dislocating his elbow (this happens every so often with him) - and I feel such a bad parent that I can't control him being horrible and if I try I end up down at A&E with him. Focus on the positive - no F words yet....

it's exhaustion related - it will get better tho. If you think that she is under the influence of naughty children try and have play dates with the nicer children in her class maybe.

My DS has just started year R and we're getting lots of 'attitude', answering back being rude etc I think it started in the summer holidays, so maybe not just school related, but an age thing too? (he's just turned 5). However, a lot of it is definately down to tiredness. He's gone from doing 12 hours a week at pre-school to 33 hours a week. and there's so much to learn and adjust to. On the plus side, he's really enjoying school and we've ahd good feedback from teacher. Think it's better to show the bad behaviour at home, and not at school, as long as it stays like that! I'm just trying not to fill after school or weekends with too much to give him time to chill out, and make sure he still feels like he's getting some quality time with the rest of the family. Oh, and the old favourite of affirming all the positive things and trying to ignore the bad (easier said than done sometimes!).

Ditto here with my 4 year old. He told me he hated me on Saturday when I asked him to tidy up his Superheroes in advance of a playdate.

I think some of it is tiredness, some of it is a reaction to change and some of it is pushing against boundaries as there are so many new people he has to listen to and behave for. Am sure it will calm down. DS's bad patches normally last about 6 weeks and then he's OK.

So DH went to collect DS today (he normally goes to Afterschool) and was asked if anything had changed at home this week as apparently he's been really badly behaved, has had a number of tantrums and has been sent to another teacher's class (which is last resort) twice!

Took dd out of afterschool, we are managing to collect everyday at two .. Behaviour much much improved. Thanks for all the posts ..