Manipulated by friends/Low confidence

[Dena9]

Our Son is nearly 5, he started R class in sept where he met a so called best friend from nursery P.
Our concern began at nursery when our son started coming home all upset and down saying his friend P said he is no longer his friend and he wouln't play with him.

Ofcourse the next day they played together like nothing happened, one could say this is absolutely normal. Is it really ?

What we are worried about is the way our son is so close to this boy ? his best friend, our son does anything P asks him, P has also encouraged our son to help him to grab and hold somebody down like strangling and it feels like P seems to enjoy the control over him, almost like a bully in making. Or is it a sign of our son?s low confidence, trust in his own abilities?
The recent case, involved a little encounter where P bumped into our son who hit his head on a concrete, scratching his scalp a bit. P told our son if he tells anyone he will not be his friend and he will have no other friends.

Our son lied at school saying it was his falt and at home to cover up the truth, eventually he admitting what happened.
We ask ourselves where will it lead to ? and what is the best way to break this strong dependency bond
We encourage our son to play with other friends and he does get on very well with other boys and girls, nearby neighbours etc. However once he gets to school, that?s it, it is like there are no other kids to play with. We r scared this can become more serious and affect ms's self stem.

please advise

Can the teacher separate them as much as possible? If you express your concerns I'm sure the school will work with you to try and keep them apart - it does sound like P is a bad influence and has latched on to your son.

You cannot be there at school so you should speak to the teacher explaining exactly what you have written here. Dealing with playground issues are a big part of the job for Reception class teachers and they are very used to dealing with it. Ask the teachers and TA to keep a special lookout for what is going on between your son and his 'friend'. They should be able to tell you whether there is a problem and they should also be able to engineer it so that your son is away from him as much as possible inside the classroom so that he can forge relationships with other pupils in the class.
He is very young and has plenty of time in the next seven years at Primary school to develop confidence. In face in the long term this may be a positive thing, learning to stand up for himself against this boy!

It is normal yes...some kids can be downright sly...my own DD had similar things...the trick is not to grill your son too much....they sometimes come out with what they think you want them to say....when in fact what you want is for them to assure you they are fine and happy and nobody is mean to them.

Ask another boy home for tea after school this will encourage your DS to make other friends.

Hi, I'm currently going through the same thing with my son he doesn't have the confidence to build friendships with other children at school and unfortunately had made friends with this boy who is behaving in the same way as your sons friend is. The teacher is aware of their friendship and has them separated in the classroom but at playtime they find each other. We have plenty of play dates with other children from his class and he plays really well with them all but at school he just wants to be with this boy, I'm just hoping that their friendship fizzles out. Hope it all gets sorted out for you.