Hitting and lying about being hit

[Abubu]

Hi,

I have 3 yo ID twin girls. DD1 in particular (although both to some extent) has recently started hitting out every time she hears something she doesn't like.

Initially it was fighting with her sister, now it is literally every 5 minutes the fist comes out, and now with everyone. All I have to do is say something along the lines of "no you can't have a biscuit now but you can have one after dinner" (quite reasonable I think) and she hits me.

She also constantly pretends that someone (her sister, me, DH, granny etc) has hurt her and I'm worried she will say this at nursery or elsewhere in public and people will start to think we actually are.

I have tried to explain so many times that she musn't hit and musn't fib, have done the naughty step to death, told her the Boy who cries wolf as a bed time story and nothing is working.

The girls are fighting non stop - it is literally every 5 minutes and I'm at my wits end about what to do. They should be closer to each other than anyone else but they act like they hate each other. Now DD2 is also starting this hitting out at everyone thing (although no fibbing yet).

I also have a 6 month old baby girl and albeit very half hearted and lightly, DD1 recently hit her in front of me and this really worries me.

Is this common or should I be worried?

What can I do?

Thanks.

sympathies with dts fighting - I have them too, 3y8m old boys.

Its better now than it was because when they are not fighting they do play together very, very well.

Do they have playtime on their own? I find its good to separate them for a while when the fighting gets too much, if you can't put one in another room try to sit down with them and get them to do some drawing or something (of course they will both want the same pencil and fight about that....!)

Be careful not to give her attention for hitting. When she hits you put her in time out, when she hits her sister be sure to comfort the sister and give her attention.

No ideas a what to do about the fibbing, although I do think at this age they don't always know the difference between reality and fantasy.

the naughty step doesn't work for me either. if they hit put them in time out (in a shut boring room for 5 mins) straight away without warning. Don't give them much attention and do it very calmly. Explain quickly while sticking them in he room that hitting can hurt people and is wrong. After time out they must say sorry or go back into time out. If I'm out and about I'll use a car seat/buggy/friends spare room for out - as long as they can't see anyone. give the victim all the attention

Give them both lots of praise and attention when they are good.

Try giving her the words she wants to use as it sounds like she is frustrated. Mine will shout 'ahhhh!! pick that up!!!' and I'll say 'say please pick that up mummy'- and once she says it politely I'll pick the object up for her. I won't respond to rudeness - they have to be polite to get anything.

I hate fibbing too but I've also read it's a sign of intelligence. Really not sure what to suggest sorry except that it's maybe attention seeking. Can you show no interest/change subject when she is obviously telling porkie pies?