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Behaviour/development

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How do I encourage independent play in toddler?

3 replies

millingtonsmummy · 16/10/2010 22:18

My DD (2.9) has always been delicate and a little clingy. I've been reading previous posts about helping toddlers build confidence and realised that I need to relax and allow her to take things at her own pace. But wondered if anyone can offer advice with how to deal with a particular situation.

We went to a 3rd birthday party this afternoon at a small soft play centre we've visited before. Most of the children were from her nursery so not many strange faces. She really wanted to play but wouldn't go off without me. I agreed to go on a quick 'tour' with her so she could find her way around but then I had to go back to the other mummies. She then spent most of the party at my side and being pretty miserable. I managed to get a game going with her where I'd race her to the bottom of a slide via our different routes so she could enjoy the soft play, still have me engaged with her but not at her side. What would you have done? Given in, got stuck in to the soft play although no other parents were and made a timid little girl v happy? Or tried your hardest to take a step back and demonstrate that 'the norm' is for mummies and daddies to hang out and for the kids to get stuck in all by themselves?

This issue overflows to her play at home. She has some wonderful imaginative make believe games but often needs me to be part of it. There are short spells of a few minutes where she plays independently but generally wants me at her side which is hard going with a 5 mo DS needing attention too.

Any tips or words of wisdom gratefully received!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
piscesmoon · 16/10/2010 22:30

I wouldn't fuss and make an issue of it-she is very little. At the party I would do a mix, a bit of play and a bit of letting her watch. At home get her to help with whatever you are doing. When DS gets older it will be easier-she can organise him.

millingtonsmummy · 16/10/2010 22:34

thanks piscesmoon, you're so right that she'll be organising DS soon enough ... she can be a right bossy boots with me :)

OP posts:
Dracschick · 16/10/2010 22:35

You cant.

She will only do it when shes ready.

Smile.

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