Advice Wanted - 2 year old and new baby

[MrDrool]

Hi,

I was just wondering if the wise mumsnetters could provide some advice on a couple of matters.

DS1 is nearly two. DS2 now 2 weeks old.

Initially DS1 was wonderful, hugging and kissing DS2, giving toys to DS2 when he was crying...however in the last day or so he has started to push DS2 out of the way, eg when DW is breastfeeding he'll try to move the breast away and when I'm winding/hugging DS2, DS1 will tell me to put him in the cot...worst of all he has now tried hitting DS2 a few times.

I think, to an extent I can understand his feelings...he probably feels a bit displaced even though we're doing everything we can to continue play with him etc and try to keep things 'normal'.

The other problem we have is that he is hitting the terrible twos, and I'm not sure the best way to punish him ... we've tried the naughty step (but he enjoys it!), tried telling him off/explaining why his behaviour is unacceptable but he just smiles or tries to hit me (depending on his mood). I'm against the idea of smacking.

I think that there are two things I'd like advice on;

1. any suggestions on how to help DS1 come to terms with the arrival of DS2
2. any suggestions on how to correct inappropriate behaviour in our 2 year old

Thanks in advance (and apologies if this message isn't entirely clear...sleep deprivation is in full flow)

In my mind some actions bypass any time out warning.If he hits just simply drop everything and calmly quietly put him in a non exciting room. Say 'no hitting' and leave him there for a few mins or until he has calmed down - then after explain that hitting can hurt people and move on.

With other non acceptable behaviour I count down 3,2,1 then time out in a boring room. My 2 bright year old does 4 mins.

It really does sound like he just wants your attention though. Have you tried reading to him while BFing DS2?

My friend used to hve a special box full of all sorts of wonders and every time she BF'd she would get it out but then put it away once finished.

Thank you both for your advice. I'm going to try and make one of the rooms in our house a bit more boring (unfortunately he loves playing in every room at the moment).

We've also started getting him involved in changing the nappies and playing close by when feeding/changing the baby.

Fingers crossed things continue to improve.

Could you combine trips out of the house with baby napping? This has helped us enormously. Older ones are easily entertained outside, forget about little one and get tired. Life in babyland is pretty boring for tots.

My dd would only countenance tv while iI'm feeding. We use it shamelessly.

My 2 are 20 months apart. When dd2 was newborn and I was feeding her, dd1 would try and pull her away and hit her etc. I tried sitting her next to me withy arm round her but this didn't always work. My solution was to put her upstairs behind the stairgate for 2 mins. If she did it again she went upstairs for 3 mins. I never had to do it a third time!

It is a stage and like all others it will pass but it is horrible when you are there! I also fed dd2 when dd1 was asleep or napping as much as possible.