Other mum complaining about my sons behaviour!

[cleanerupper]

What do other people think....A mum spoke to me this morning about my sons behaviour whilst he is out playing (he is 9). She says that he has been pouncing on her son and has been hurting him, she said that she has already spoken to my son and told him to stay away from him. She also says that other adults look at him and 'wonder who he is' as his behaviour is disruptive. I told her that his pouncing was playing as I have seen the other boys that he plays with do exactly the same thing. She was not happy with this. Her son is a couple of years younger than mine and she is known for being over protective and interferring but when she talks to me about it in the playground she is quite loud. What do you think?

well if your ds is hurting a 7yr old. make him stop

Not enough info, maybe your son is really a thug or maybe she's got a habit of targetting people randomly.

If he were my son I'd tell him to lay off any rough play with her son.

What do I think? I think that your DS needs to leave children who are 2 years younger than him alone. Does he also pounce on and hurt the 11 year old boys? I suspect not. It doesn't matter whether the other boy's mother is over protective - your boy should not be doing this.

I'm sorry I agree with 2shoes. If your son sees it as playing but this is hurting the younger child then you need to tell your DS to calm his behaviour down when playing.

Its both at school and after school when they all play out. My son plays with children who are the same age and they all do this type of thing as I have seen it happen. It seems as if they are 'lions' I never saw it as nasty though, just rough play.

Well, if the 7yo is choosing to play with a group of 9yo I'd say its him who needs to decide if its too rough or not. But if your son is playing with a range of ages, then he needs to learn how to modify it and play less rough with the younger ones. Children have different ideas about what's "too rough" and he is old enough to realise that.

We have this situ from the other mothers perspective. Although our boys are toddlers (16mo) there are four of them and one of them is hideously 'nippy' (ie clawing at the other boys faces) and keeps pushing the other boys over - we are at the point of preparing to approach said mother who just laughs it off when it happens.

We arent being over protective - just sick of other toddler being 'allowed' to be boisterous with our boys (i know they are v young but said mother is being wishywashy about it)

Sorry but you need to speak to your son and tell him to pick on someone his own age!

What a 9yo should know is that an action is not ok just because other children do it. If someone is being hurt or frightened, then it is wrong full stop. And there is no reason why a group of mixed age children cannot play together while remembering to be more protective of the smaller ones. What your son absolutely needs to understand is that you only pounce on other children who are playing the pouncing game and even then you need to remember that smaller children are hurt more easily.

The rule is, if all the kids are quite happy - well so long as it's not out and out dangerous or antisocial, then it's not a problem.

If a kid is getting pounced on and doesn't like it, it has to stop. Even if the other children are having a whale of a time.

A mother talked to me about my ds recently and I appreciated it tbh because I didn't know there was a problem. As far as ds is concerned, they all play quite roughly together and he seems not to mind being hit. However the other boy did mind and OF COURSE then ds has to stop - it's non-negotiable!

I agree with cory.

The other mother sounds a bit spiteful in her comment about what "other adults" think, so I can see how this would make you feel defensive, but still ... what cory said

Why is her 7 year old playing out unsupervised?! She can't be that protective. I'd tell your son to keep well away