Please help - sleep tantrums/terrors?

[mrsjuan]

Hi, need to be quick before work -

Last night and a few nights ago DD (17 months) woke up screaming & wouldn't be held or comforted, just threw herself around in cot or in our arms. It sounds like she's having a tantrum & for this reason DH is adamant we should ignore her.

Last night it lasted nearly 45 minutes before she was calm enough to be cuddled back to sleep - awful.

I hate hearing her scream and am worried in case she's having some sort of nightmare.

Sorry so brief - hope it makes sense enough for some advice before tonight

Thanks

Anyone, please?

how soon after she went to sleep ? If it is within a few hours then it sounds like a night terror. Two of mine get those - they are really frightened and completely unaware of you. Sometimes you can talk to them and they hear so you can sort of talk them down. Otherwise you just have to try and make sure they don't hurt themselves and wait til they go back to sleep. They never remember then (unlike nightmares which they do remember usually).

My DS1 started having night terrors at around this age. They continued until he was about 6 - but became less and less frequent.

Google night terrors

They are characterised by occurring in the first few hours after bedtime, and my son used to appear awake but appear unresponsive and scream, cry or appear terrified. Sometimes he'd appear to be hallucinating - when he was older he's point towards things that weren't there.

He never remembered them in the morning. I would gently calm him by singing to his (calmed me down as well).

HTH

If she wakes up screaming then they don't sound like tantrums

My 10yo ds gets night terrors, very different from nightmares; they are early in the night and he has no memory the morning after. He runs around the house with a terrified expression, shouting nonsense, and it takes up to 20 minutes to get him settled back in bed. Very scary the first time it happened, but we are used to it now. But they only started in the last couple of years.

They will go away of their own accord, and are not usually a sign of anything sinister (subconscious worries etc). Just cuddle and calm them down, and it will pass.

Have you given her any medication in the evenings? My DS had a bad reaction to some medication, and twice, hours after being given it, woke up hysterical, throwing himself around, screaming, and unable to control himself. It was only the 2nd time that I made the connection. It was Tixylix I think, which is now banned for under 6 year olds.

Agree, sounds like a night terror to me. My Ds1 suffered from these from 22m (just when DS2 was born). They peaked around 6m later and lasted until about a yr ago when they started getting less frequent. He's now 5.4yrs. Triggers I noticed were being overtired, a particularly stressful day (1 of his worst terrors was after a playdate with my cousin's boys of a similar age and DS1 couldn't cope with them bashing his toys.) or getting too hot in bed.

He would thrash, scream and "fit" in his bed for maybe 5-10 mins then whimper, roll over and go back to sleep. At their worst he would get out of bed and throw himself round the room, once bloody-ing his nose. I wouldn't hold him; just stop him from injuring himself, stroke his forehead, whisper quietly, mop his brow with a cold flannel etc. He still gets v hot in bed and sleeps most nights in just his shorts and a thin blanket inside his duvet cover. Although he does then get cold in the early hours and wake up! This winter I have splashed out on a silk filled duvet for him as they are so much lighter, and immediately our night visits from a cold boy stopped and no terrors!

There's some stuff on the internet about it. Good luck - its more stressful for us mums than the DCs I think. And they do seem to grow out of it...eventually!

My son had one when he was aged 22 months. It was like he was possessed. We were on holiday and we couldn't hold him his movements were so violent. The safest place was the travel cot. He would throw himself around, scream a noise we'd never heard before, his eyes were devilish looking. He would then stop, seem to be asleep, then start again, legs pulled up and thrashing about again. We were so worried we took him to hospital. As we were running to the taxi he suddenly changed and was his normal self again - and was angelic at the hospital. It was quite embarrassing. When we returned home I was reading a toddler book and the night terror section described it exactly. I think he woke up when we were running to the taxi.

I think our son's was caused by hunger. He'd had a bug and wouldn't eat anything much after it.

I've heard the same from other friends and their children's triggers have been either anxiety about something (impending swimming lesson) or overtiredness.

Thank you - husband has backtracked today (think he has spoken to people at work) and agreed it sounds like a night terror. She has been a bit under the weather recently - teeth, a virus, less appetite etc. so I guess any of those factors could be triggers.

She's never been a great sleeper and I'm used to getting up to her during the night but I've always been able to cuddle her back to sleep before so this was a complete curve ball.

Dreading tonight to be honest.

they don't tend to be an every night thing - you may get a few nights and then none for weeks, or you may get one a week. You will get used to dealing with it - as with everything it is most frightening the first time when you don't know what it is.

With mine over-tiredness was a trigger - so we got a lot when they started school.

Obviously jinxed myself - he had 1 last night whilst we were at the cinema. Poor new au pair was most concerned about him!!!