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23 month old daughter screaming at hair washing

17 replies

lavender11 · 12/10/2010 14:31

I know a lot of children don't like having their hair washed and I myself recall hating it as a child, but my daughter absolutely hates it.
I have tried most things, I have a bath seat which I lie her down on but make sure her face and in particular eyes are never in contact with the water and I use a small tub to pour water over the hair (hair only). I sit her up to put shampoo in and then back down to rinse. It is the rinsing she hates even tho I do my very very utmost never to get water in her eyes.
I have tried other methods like sitting up and trying to get her to put her head back and buying a special jug from mothercare with the soft rim to hold against her forehead but she stubbornly looks downwards so water goes in her eyes, even if I try to hold her face upwards with my hand she uses her strength to look down and then...screaming.
Anyway, it has got to the stage where I can only bring myself to wash her hair once or twice a week, last night she screamed so loudly she was sick her dinner in the bath. The instant she gets out of the bath she is usually fine.
I try to reassure her I will be gentle, not get water in her eyes, make sure the water is the right temperature, make it as quick as possible etc. My husband gives her her bottle before bed immediately after bathtime and I am getting to the stage where "mummy is the witch and daddy is the saviour" is getting a bit hard to bear. Immediately after I lift her out of the bath I just sit there in stunned silence as to how hard the whole process is.
what should i do? any suggestions at all very much welcomed. my husband this morning suggested I get her to wash her own hair.... she is not yet 2 years old... Hmm

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feedmenow · 12/10/2010 14:33

My daughter (21 months) is like this, only she hasn't yet thrown up because of it!

TBH, I just do it. Whilst I generally aim not to get anything in her eyes, she will not co-operate with any cajouling methods so I just do it and make it as quick as I possibly can!

scurryfunge · 12/10/2010 14:39

You could try letting her tip the water over herself or make it part of a game.

You could try a shower attachment instead of her lying back to rinse.

If you have a shower would she stand in the shower with you?

Could you increase her confidence with swimming also?

lavender11 · 12/10/2010 14:48

Good idea about swimming we have not yet tried this. i have tried shower attachment without success. I absolutely dread if she gets nits. The worst thing is, like you say I think it is lack of confidence yet my attempts at reassurance don't work and me sitting there in the bathroom looking stunned after the whole affair probably doesnt help her confidence either.

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izzybiz · 12/10/2010 14:52

My just turned 2 yo Ds is exactly the same, started all of a sudden when he'd always been fine before!

He will not sit down while I do it, he stands holding the edge of the bath and screams the whole time. I just get it done as fast as I can, trying to get as little water in his face as possible!

Think we need to try swimming more often too as he hates that as well!

AgonyBeetle · 12/10/2010 14:55

You don't need to wash her hair more htan once a week anyway, unless she's rubbed yoghurt into it or something.

Make sure you keep her hair short as well.

For some kids wearing swimming goggles helps with the fear of water in their eyes.

Jojay · 12/10/2010 14:59

My ds1 who is nearly 4 is a nightmare to have his hair washed.

We only do it once a week as it's too stressful and unnecessary to do it more than that.

I fold a flannel over his eyes and then do it as fast as I can while he screams blue murder!

DS2 who is nearly two, isn't nearly so bad.

Sorry, not much help Grin

JaynieB · 12/10/2010 15:00

My DD hates her hair washing too - she's a bit better now though. I have to say I wash it as little as possible - certainly not every week - it doesn't look dirty or smell and she's never been one to put food in her hair.
I usually wash it every couple of weeks - at the most...
She hates water on her face with a passion, but with coaxing will lie back on my arm and let me very very carefully wash it, but shrieks and fusses if a drop goes on her face!
I've held off swimming with her until recently, but she loves it and I think it is helping her be more tolerant of water.
Interestingly, DP also hates the sensation of water on his face and back and doesn't enjoy showering or swimming much because of it.

DeborahDeborah · 12/10/2010 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nellieistired · 12/10/2010 15:03

3ds from 2 -6. all capable of having screaming abdabs over hairwashing

the only thing that works is to get it done as fast as possible. and make sure dh has his fair share of hairwashing!!

And wash as little as you can get away with!

RunningOutOfIdeas · 12/10/2010 15:11

My DD is 2.6. She loves swimming but hates having her hair washed. It makes no sense to me at all. At swimming I dunk her under the water and she comes up smiling. In the bath, the moment I mention hair wash she starts "ow ow you're hurting me" before I have even touched her.

I do encourage her to look up at the ceiling. I ask her if there are fairies or elephants up there. Or what colour dresses are the fairies wearing. Sometimes she likes to wear goggles, sometimes holding the flannel over her face helps, but often it is just a chore to get through.

Whiteybaby · 12/10/2010 15:33

Just a thought if your dh is around how about you both do it? My DH hated doing hair washing as it used to be horrific stressful. However, with both of us there and one mucking about pulling funny faces its much better. I peep over dh shoulder at dd while he pours which makes her look up and usually laugh. Also we use flannel to wet hair before shampoo to limit chance of wet face disasters and very little shampoo. DD's hair is still worryingly fine though.. I completely understand that horrid feeling of "horrid mummy". I make sure all the nasty jobs are shared v equally! Good luck x

Lpsmum · 12/10/2010 15:56

My boy was exactly the same. I was so scared of him breaking his neck as he would scramble to get out of the bath each week when it was hair washing day. I bought every gadget going and now use the magic hat and it's perfect - not a drop goes near his eyes and he can't stop giggling at it's magicness!

cornflower123 · 12/10/2010 16:09

My DD was just like that between the ages of about 2 and 6. Just wanted to offer some hope to you that it does get better with time!! You have my sympathies though as I remember it being very stressful.... We experimented with everything we could think of, but I found the best thing was to lie her back on some chairs leaning back over the bath supported by a towel (if that makes sense!). ie. it was better not doing it in the bath. Also, good to have a flannel over the eyes to catch any water. Not a problem with my DS for some reason. Agree with others who've said keep hair shortish and wash as little as possible.

BarrelOfMonkeys · 12/10/2010 17:01

DD's not a huge fan of hair-washing, but she has a baby doll that goes in the bath, and she washes its hair while we wash hers. She loves rubbing shampoo into a lather on its head. We go through a lot of shampoo...

The other thing, and this may just be my DD being an oddball, but it works for us - she used to hate getting water in her eyes/face but if I bunch up the towel and go "whoosh whoosh whoosh" in a silly voice while rubbing her face straight after pouring water over her head to rinse, she loves it - and will now pour water on her own head and ask for "whoosh whoosh" as it drips down her face. I don't know if that's normal though!

BarrelOfMonkeys · 12/10/2010 17:01

(DD is coming up 22mo btw)

Firawla · 12/10/2010 17:07

actually my 2 yr old washes his own hair now and since he started doing that he is okay with it, whereas before he would scream and get really upset. maybe it does help them to have some control over it and do it themself? it could be worth a try atleast. mine is not long two, he is 2 and a few months so i think you may be suprised how much she could do @ that age? you could put the shampoo on and let her pour the waters over her own head to rinse, then if it needs a bit more @ the end to finish off then you do it? that is what we are doing @ the moment and it really has helped him. it seems to have taken the fear out the situation by him being able to have more control over the water rinsing

lavender11 · 13/10/2010 09:12

these ideas are great thanks, i will have a go i so so dread hair washing night i will try anything!

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