This is my first post & it's quite long so please be gentle.
My DS is 5 (6 in January) and has been struggling at school & after school club for some time. His behaviour is getting worse. At school it seems to be centred around changing activity particularly if he's doing something he really likes. He gets aggressive, is rude to the teachers and recently has started throwing things. It then takes several members of staff to calm him down. This is obviously very disruptive to him and the rest of the class and is having an impact of his friendships with his classmates as he doesn't have many close friends. His anxiety levels are worst when it's hometime as he goes to an after school club as I work full time. The bad behaviour can continue at the club and at home although seemingly not at the same level as at school. He likes routine and gets upset if his routine is disturbed or he doesn't get his own way. His teacher has said that he is a bright, articulate boy and his language skills are good. They have suggested it's attention seeking but the usual ways of dealing with that aren't making an impact.
We've seen a paediatrican and she ruled out ADHD and concluded it was emotional immaturity and for the school to use lots of visual cues which they are doing but this hasn't worked as yet. We are waiting for a mental health referral but that's not likely until at least January/ February. The school are starting to get less understanding and obviously want to get things resolved as quickly as possible.
Any advice is very welcome as I'm at a loss but I have two specific questions - do you think a childminder after school would be better and is there any way to get a private mental health assessment i.e. through a child psychologist (and if so can anyone recommend one in Kent). Thank you