Biting and hair pulling

[vickie]

Can anyone help? DD (10 months) has started biting (particularly DH) really hard. She also spends all her time chasing her 'friends' round trying to pull their hair. Im a nervous wreck as every time we go anywhere all the other kids are in tears and DD is just sitting there looking totally non plussed.

How do I stop the biting and the hair pulling. She's off to nursery next month for 2 days a week and Im worried that at this rate she will be expelled on day one. Please please help. she seems to be ignoring 'NO' and when I say it I really mean it....in fact I was so fierce today that I made one of the other little girls cry! HELP!!

Hi vickie. Poor you! But don't worry- she's not really vindictive or a vampire baby, just doesn't know the effect of her actions yet, I'd say. My advice would be try to chill as far as you can and just physically remove her from the situation if she bites or pulls hair. Nursery will do the same I'd have thought. Hope it passes soon.

Don't worry vickie, my ds used to be like this....

I started to dread taking him out anywhere in the company of other babies as he would all of a sudden go in for the kill and grab a handful of hair, especially if one of the little girls had pigtails (too much temptations)....

In the end, I was thinking about stopping him going to playgroups but since he started at nursery, he is doesn't do it anymore and has moved on to a more interesting pastime...

which is "kissing" babies. He now just lunges at them with his arms open and lies on top of them, and then tries to kiss them with his mouth open....

Its so cute though, but not for the other baby who has all the life squeezed out of them.... he means well though!!

Don't worry; it won't last long.
And by the way, my ds hair pulling came from when I had long hair and it used to dangle into his face as a very tiny baby and he used to try and grab it......

My fault I guess!! Although I never bit him so I'll pass the buck on that one!

I think you have to try to keep calm. She doesn't know it hurts so she's not trying to hurt, she's just curious and experimental. In fact, whith my I think it was an expression of love. He'd hug me and cuddle me and then bite - like it was one step up from cuddling! However, of course a child can't go on doing it. What I did/do with ds is take him out of the room and shut the door briefly (unsophisticated naughty step thing) he absolutely hates it. I have to do it immediately or else he doesn't know why, and I saw something like, 'we don't bite' when I'm doing it. I try not to shout but to sound serious IYKWIM. Most kids IME hate time outs like this but you do have to strike fast. I also used distraction and tried to anticipate when he might pull or bite and head it off. He was ALWAYS worse when tired or hungry. He rarely did it, and only bites now when very excited. It's not the end of the world and it is only a phase.

my ds1s nursery moved him up into an older room - that soon stopped him!

If you look back there are lots of threads about this, including one I started when I was at my wit's end with dd. She is loads better now (aged 10 months) - never pulls hair and rarely bites or scratches. We started a regime of immediately saying 'No' very firmly, then putting her onto the floor for at least a minute or so, trying to establish a cause-effect relationship in her head. It does seem to have worked, though you do need to tell everyone to do the same - MIL would allow her to get away with it until I insisted. As Aloha says, the response from you does have to be immediate though, or she won't link the effect with the cause. Good luck!