4. 5 year old using a knife and fork

[madlet]

Help please!!

My DD1 is five in January and still cannot hold a knife and fork properly or a pen. She also struggles taking her top or vest off over her head. All of her classmates seem to be able to do all of this.

I'm panicking about it - is she a late developer or is this normal?

Hi madlet

Do you think she can't actually do those things or simply chooses not to?

DS is 5.8yrs and chooses to have a little fork with a teaspoon as it's easier for him to scoop sweetcorn etc. He could hold a knife but chooses not to.

For ages, I was putting his shoes on because he let me and if I asked him to do it, he insisted he couldn't and got really upset. However, at someone else's house, when the mum said to get his shoes on, he just did it! I was shocked and felt a bit stupid I'd been duped by a 5 yr old!

However, if she actually can't do those things, don't worry just yet. They all develop at different rates and I'm sure your dd is better at some things that others can't do. Perhaps you could play small world games with her to help concentrate on her fine motor skills more and you may then find she quickly becomes more able to do the things you say she currently find tricky .

You say she cannot hold a pen. Is she in reception yet? Have the teachers mentioned anything?

dd still struggles with her knife at mealtime, she is 7

She does hold them but in a really hamfisted way. She holds her pen in her fist too. She can write like this and is reluctant to change because she finds it so difficult. She has just started reception but the teachers haven't mentioned it yet.

I guess I am panicking. If i sit with her and make her do it she does it with a lot of moaning. However as soon as I move away she goes back to her usual way. I work full time and my husband is a stay at home dad. He tends to take the path of least resistance much to my annoyance.

Any ideas on what I can do to improve her fine motor skills?

Picking up little beads one at a time from one place and putting the in another bowl is meant to help. You can also get special pencil grips to help with position holding a pencil. Don't worry about knife and fork, I think that's quite difficult and my 7 year old still has trouble - use a spoon.

Don't wait for the teacher to comment, you have to be proactive with schools.

there was a really helpful thread about this recently, will attempt to find [I may be some time]

post on a thread.

Thanks everyone. I will buy some beads at lunchtime and also google a pencil grip.

Thanks for the advice on schools - I think they do need some pushing
xx