Parents of onlies - do you struggle with entertainment?

[PussinJimmyChoos]

DS (4.5) is an only child atm (DC2 due in March).

While he is getting better at playing by himself for short periods of time, I still find that he is constantly asking me for interaction - I don't mind it up to a point, but when he's out in the garden, even though I'm sat in living room keeping an eye out, I am still interuppted so many times. I always respond and often go out to look at what he is talking about (bugs etc) as I think its nice to share their enthusiasm but after a while it does get a bit wearing

Sometimes wish he could play by himself a bit more for longer periods and wondered if other parents with only children had this problem?

I have this problem with DD aged 5. Just the case of keeping things close by and chopping and changing or asking for him to do you a favour - works a treat for DD.

Have you got any housework to do? Ie washing or something. DD helps load the machine, helps peg it on the line afterwards and folds once dry ready for the ironing. adn once ironed puts into piles for me. thats interaction and then I get her to go into her room and play - put a dvd on up there and shes away for pretty much the rest of the afternoon.

Although currently DH is baking cakes with her so I can MN and chill :)

Oh God yes, all the time. DD (5) is bloody wonderful, but my God she can be a pain in the arse!

I have been sat at the computer for 10 minutes - she has been in twice to see what I am doing, asking how long I'd been on the computer, asking how long she'd been in the living room and is, right now, saying "look mum, look what I can do, look mum, look at me" (twirling a hula hoop around her arm).

I have found the only way to get any peace is to set tasks - I've just told her to go and find 4 good pears from the tree so we can make a crumble - I can keep that going for a little bit by saying the ones she has bought in aren't good enough!

If there is something I NEED to do I set an alarm and tell her that I have to have peace until it goes off - but then I have to give her an incentive to wait "if you watch tv/draw until the alarm goes off we will make the pudding after"

In fact, ignore me - I'm now getting shouted at to look at the GIGANTIC spider in the playhouse - and I'd better go before she combusts!

Good luck!

I feel better now

DH did am shift with DS and then when I came down, we played racing cars with his tent tunnel for nearly an hour, then I did numbers and alphabet with him, then hide and seek.

We had lunch and then it was out in the garden and endless requests to look at bugs, spiders etc. DH played football with him and then came in. DS followed him and now lounging around on floor and demanding..

Its sunny for a change but am tempted to put a DVD on just for some peace

Either find tasks for him to do, or stick a dvd on and or give him a colouring book and ask him to colour all the pics lol.

DD is currently playing in her room watching Santa Claus the Movie - her choice but she hasn't poked her head out of there yet lol

We have a DVD on..DH is asleep on the sofa and DS is lying down next to him quietly watching the DVD...not sure if he will nap but at least he's being quiet for a bit

He doesn't do colouring on his own...parental input is always required...he is getting better but its still hard going sometimes

Sort of hoping he and DC2 will play together but not sure re the age gap but took 2 yrs to conceive this one so wasn't anything we could control

Once DC2 comes along he'll want to be helpful so set him tasks like getting nappies, cream etc. and make him aware that he'll have to do more things on his own when you have DC2, he'll prob be glad of the time alone lol

At 4.6 you could try having a serious chat with him and explain that you need to get on with stuff even while he is there and he NEEDS to do stuff by himself sometimes....

I did this with boy at start of holidays and it was Ok, he did then accept that I would ask him to play by himself while I did jobs that he doesn't want to help with ( like vacuum, washing up etc. Sometimes he would then get so engrossed in his thing that I could leave him to it for another 30 mins after I'd finished jobs.

My DD is only 2.4 but she's an only and will remain an only. To be honest, when I simply feel like sitting down to read the newspaper and drink my coffee I tell her that is what I am doing and that she should play by herself. She still interrupts but I've trained her now and she doesn't expect me to get down on the floor and play with her all the time. She plays all week long with lots of people at daycare so it's good for her to learn how to play by herself and use her imagination.

I was an only back in the dark ages (the 70s!) and my parents hardly ever actually played with me - I remember a lot of playing by myself in whatever room they were in whilst they got on with things such as cooking, cleaning, gardening and reading the paper. I don't remember being sad about this plus I had lots of friends anyway. The key thing as I grew up was that I was so busy all week long at daycare and then school that to be honest I liked chilling out and doing things on and for myself on the weekends.

Fortunately DD is developing a terrific imagination and I can often hear her upstairs in her bedroom chatting away with the dolls in her dollshouse.

Sorry, long response. Bottom line for me is that I tell DD clearly that I am reading or doing something and that for now she needs to play by herself. When she knows this is expected then 9 times out of 10 she goes off.

Oh, and I forgot to say, my friends with more than one child also complain of not being left alone much - this time they have two or more children demanding their attention!

Yes, and getting jealous of the other getting any attention - and certainly not wanting to share mummy's hugs. I'd be sitting on the sofa watching something with them, one on each side snuggled in...not a chance, the youngest can't bear the oldest being near me. My poor older child was an only for 6 years. He's still rubbish at playing by himself and he's nearly 8! I was an only myself and constantly wanted attention. Give as much as you can, but at the end of the day they have to learn to play by themselves for some of the time.

My only is 11 and has always been happy to entertain herself for periods. I think it's just a personality thing. Lots of my friends have onlies, some happily entertain themselves, others always want company.

I think playing with your child every day is essential for the childs well being tbh, and doubly so if you have an only child.

My DS 11will quite happily occupy himself, on the other hand his cousin 10 who is also an only cannot entertain himself for more than 2 minutes. As FattyArbuckle says I think it's down to personality.