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Behaviour/development

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Overexuberance or something more sinister ?

3 replies

Guard · 10/10/2010 09:27

DD is 8. She can only be described as high energy, incredibly physical and loud ! She is bright - school puts her spelling age as 2 years beyond the average and she is a very good reader/good at maths. However, increasingly I despair at her behaviour which is like that of a rather badly behaved puppy. In public places she needs to be bribed to sit still and would much prefer to charge around the place. In shops for she will charge around and no doubt knock into someone (like yesterday it was an old lady with a stick and I was mortified). I constantly check her behaviour, make her apologise etc and have used reward charts/taken away play dates etc for poor behaviour but she seems to have little self control or understanding that her behaviour is basically not acceptable and I feel ther is no improvement. Eg yesterday she threw some icing across a table in front of two friends and their mother. My mother thinks it is ADHD which I totally disagree with but I would like to find some help/strategies to help her find reasonable boundaries. I can put them in place but as an 8 year old I feel she should be able to work out when she is over the line or not or am I expecting too much ? She is not naughty but really just doesn't think and it totally upsets the balance of the family. Her 2 younger sisters seem to have more sense and are far easier. Any ideas ? I so need them :) PS At school I think she is okayish although gets into trouble every now and again and I think isn't making the success of things that she could as she would be known as tough to handle but they shy away from telling you what they really think (eg I get told she needs to listen, do what she is told etc)

OP posts:
DollyTwat · 10/10/2010 09:51

I'm watching your thread with interest as I have an 8 yr old who is the same. Everything is a battle at the moment and the reward charts that used to work so well just aren't any more.

I am in tears most nights with frustration. I have become shouty mum too which I know doesn't help.

Is it an age thing? Not old enough to be grown up but old enough to want independence.

RandomMusings · 10/10/2010 10:01

you oughtn't be bribing a child to behave, at age 8 really

have you spoken to the school nurse? and parenting classes can be amazing

good luck

MadameSin · 10/10/2010 13:02

Don't know if any of this will help, but .... My son is 7 and has a dx of ADHD. He has masses of energy, is boisterous, immature, class clown, loves being centre of attention, affectionate, caring, gets in your face, bright and savvy, a bit clumsy, loves to shout talk, independent, wants everyone to be happy, doesn't know when to stop, has a wicked sense of humour, lacks concentration/attention and is a social animal. I have learnt that shouting at him does not work as he 'shuts off'. I have learnt to get his full attention before giving him instructions. I have learnt to tell him he is brilliant everyday. I have learnt to ignore poor behaviour (unless dangerous) and praise all the good stuff, no matter how small. I also tell him how much we love him everyday. All the above has led us to cope with our lot and helps him manage his. He'll get there Smile

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