my 5yo ds is massively overreacting about a lot of things, especially minor ailments. How can I help him to control his reactions to stuff?

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

ds is five, six in march. Last October, he had an op on his tummy button to fix a hernia, it was a simple op, but with a few traumatic moments, being held down for aneasthetic, and havign to be held down to have blood taken at a and e when they suspected infection. Also it has taken a lot of time to heel up. Previous to the op he was pretty blase about falling over, hurting himself in any way, or any sort of illness. But since the op, he has gradually got more and more dramatic about any hint of illness. For example, he might bump his hip on the sofa running past it and will scream at the top of his voice and thrash about. If he grazes himself or gets any type of cut, he wont let anyone anywhere near him but will thrash about screaming at top volume and will not let you clean it or look at it.

I try not to pay too much attention, I will give sympathy and a hug if i can get near him if he is genuinely hurt, but I try to encourage him to calm down so he can tell me whats wrong. He is starting to do this at school, and to react like this if he does other things like spill food or cant find something.....

what would you do to help him?? or me??

this very comon in boys in OP they find it hard to rationalise anger and frustration...i would simply use humour to defuse this and gives you a chance to comfort him...pretend you are super hoero to the rescue, joke about his over reaction without mocking. if that fails if you can see his actually unscathed then simply ignore the thrashing around untill he seeks reasurance and comfort from you and you may find he will eventually just get up and carry on as he once did

i suspect this has nothing to do with his past experiences with illness, my nephews have all done the exact same thing or hit the crap out of what ever they hit them selfs on.

I havent tried humour, he tends to get a bit cross at that too sometimes, but maybe I'll do something unrelated but ridiculous which he probably would laugh at....
its reassuring that its pretty normal though. His reception teacher last year often makes comments about how stressed he is, I dont think he is particularly in other areas, mainly around injury or illness!

i would ignore it then but maybe if his teachers comment on his stress again, you should ask then to ellaborate or ask thier opinion, dont forget they get to see many children and if they are experienced enough they are able to pick up on behaviours that more unusual and think together how to tackle this. good luck

thanks for the advice Esti1, I think if he does it again at the school I will ask the teacher how we can deal with it. I absolutely agree with the previous teacher who said he appears very uptight when this happens, it's weird as in other situations he is very laid back, I suppose I dont like the idea of him being uptight about anything!

Interested to hear if anyone else is going throughthis and how you deal with it?

Im just shamelessly bumping again....

this morning I had to cut ds's toenails. He let out a massive blood curdling scream and tried to kick me, flailing around on his bed for EVERY TOE. Yesterday he had a HUGE meltdown becasue his trousers were too loose and another becasue he couldnt do his shirt buttons up. In both cases I suggested a simple solution ("go get a belt and we'll put it on", "come here and Ill help with the buttons.")

There were no words for the toenail cutting incident. it was horrendous and Im afraid I ended up getting quite cross with him and told him he was being ridiculous

Feel thoroughly exhasuted. I know this is a phase and I have to be calm and consistent or ignore, but please tell me others' boys or girls are the same....????

my dss HATES his toe nails being cut. sounds about the same resistance as you (he is 6)
we have a standing joke in the house that whenever dss or dd hurt themselves (such as the tiniest scratch) we have to go and get the scissors and cut their arm/leg off "then it wont hurt any more" it always makes them laugh.
with the toenails, we said that we could stop cutting his toenails, but we would have to cut off his toes to stop the nails growing too long - guess you ds would get a bit upset about this course of action without the context of the joke!!

Can you give him the options? "Ok, we dont have to cut your toenails, but you nails will get too long and cut into your toes and you might have to go to the doctors because they will get too sore or you will have to go to school with no shoes on because they wont fit you anymore because your nails will be too long" etc?

Yes..mine is similar...I use funny words when I hurt myself such as Oh Fandnago! Or Shiver me Timbers I stubbed my toe! DC finds it funny and takes the opportunity to do it when he gets hurt now.

my dd does similar thing and i just simply say get me the phone as there must be something very wrong with you if that hurt that much or if cant actaly stand up etc...ill have to phone the dr and get you get checked and she then protests no no im fine honestly, i was just joking. and I just say well thats a relife.