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Daddy issues (ong and boring, sorry - but really really need some advice!)

9 replies

Threelittleducks · 05/10/2010 20:09

My 2 year old has suddenly become very clingy with dh.

Dh works all day (usually)9-5, although comes home early sometimes.

I am 35 weeks pg with ds2 and am HUGE! I have also had SPD since about 25 weeks and have been struggling to cope with 2 year old toddler wo like to run/get into things/do what toddlers do!

He is a clever wee lad, with a great vocabulary and is able to articulate himself quite well, which has been good for introducing various concepts, such as impending arrival of baby brother, daddy going to work and coming home at particular times and structure of the day.

In the last 2 weeks however, he has become OBSESSED with his dad coming home.

Now I am sure this is all to do with my inability to run around after hi all day long the way his dad does (dad is big on rough play, running etc, all of which ds loves).
He's quite happy when dh leaves in the morning - dh usually gets him dressed and sometimes takes him out with the dog, which he adores. He happily waves him off. I then do some playing with him - building a train track or playing with cars and we choose a film to watch or do some dancing.

He then has a nap. He has refused a nap over the last 2 days due to constantly asking 'is daddy coming home?' Which means he is knackered by the afternoon. And grouchy. And asks ALL DAY 'is daddy coming home'.
I've tried everything; distraction techniques, sweets, turning his question into a question (he always knows the answer - at teatime. He knows when teatime is). My mum has started to take him out during the day to try and take him away fromt the home and give me a wee break. Still with the same question, over and over and over, even when he is out.

It's getting really wearing!
Dh spends good quality time with him every night when he comes home, so it's not like he is deprived of daddy time.

And although my play is not as boisterous as dads, we do read books, draw and do other, quieter things - so it's not like he's not got attention. We play ball with the dog, do some cleaning stuff where he 'helps' and are always learning new things.
It's just all day long it's 'is daddy coming? daddy coming? daddy coming?'
He gets quite upset too if I try to ignore it.

Please tell me it's just a phase.

Tomorrow, for the first time, daddy is not coming home before ds goes to bed (he has to work late - it's a one off).
He will leave later in the day, so quite possibly he will go for a nap and when he gets up, daddy will be gone (even more trauma!) Then daddy not coming home!
Eeeeeek!
What do I do??

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Threelittleducks · 05/10/2010 20:11

Sorry, that's LONG and boring.
Ugh.
I am soo tired! Goodness knows how I'm going to feel by this time tomorrow!

OP posts:
spiritedaway · 05/10/2010 20:12

Have a week away...and leave him with Daddy Wink

spiritedaway · 05/10/2010 20:16

Seriously....sounds draining. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to distract. Whatever a toddler gets there teeth into at this age can become an obsession. Could Daddy maybe do some quieter stuff with him, like train tracks etc so he doesn't always think Daddy! when he feels like running about? I really don't know but i'm sure it will pass. Eventually.....

Threelittleducks · 05/10/2010 20:26

It is so so draining :(
Seriously exhausted tonight.

A week away sounds great! Ha ha!
Ah yeah....I wish Grin

Maybe I could make him take him with him tomorrow.

Not sure that would go down well either.
Hmm

And I'm out of chocolate! (ate the lot today)

OP posts:
hairymelons · 05/10/2010 20:27

DS is 2.3 and regularly gets obsessed with things, asks incessantly about it for a couple of weeks then moves on. This week it's Peppa Pig. Last week it was 'What grandma/ granddad/ daddy/ whoever doin'?' all day long!

I would just keep answering him in a calm and boring way, treat it like any other question and try not to engage so emotionally about it- it may not be as big a deal for him as it seems.

I'm 39 weeks pg btw, so I feel your pain. You do a hell of a lot more with your DS than I'm managing with mine (also had SPD funny enough, though successfully treated by a chiropractor so more agile now than at 32 weeks) but anyway, this new obsession with Peppa Pig suits me fine because I'm knackered!

Treat it like a repetitive toddler thing rather than him pining for his daddy and see if he get's bored of asking. There'll be a whole new distraction soon anyway :)

Threelittleducks · 05/10/2010 20:32

Hope so hairymelons!
Oh 39 weeks - eek- you must be shattered!
The physio helped with mine. Definitely not as bad as it was, but am so large that it's bump rather than spd that's putting a dampener on things at the moment.
Trying to get him into other things (we had a bloody Mighty Mites obsession a few weeks back - thank goodness that's over and done with!) on tv for a bit of peace. You know what he discovered?

Strictly come bloody dancing.

Which would be fine if it involved sitting and watching, but no, ds wants to dance! With Mummy!

And when it's done?
'Daddy coming?'

[tears hair out]

OP posts:
Roo83 · 05/10/2010 20:49

When ds (2.4) keeps asking me the same thing over and over I turn the question back to him, and he always knows the answer...usually stops him asking too! I have noticed since having dd (4 weeks today) he's become much more attached to his daddy-I think its probably to do with wanting a bit more security while things are changing, and you and daddy are the two people that provide that.

Threelittleducks · 05/10/2010 21:04

Ds knows the answer. Sometimes he tells me in a full sentence!
'Daddy coming at teatime!'

Wee bugger!

I'm just going to hope it's pure and utter obsession while things are changing. You are right Roo - it is prob just a security thing.

Here's hoping tomorrow goes smoothly.

OP posts:
spiritedaway · 06/10/2010 13:18

How's it goiong today?

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