5 yr old new friend not a good influence

[Olipops]

My 5 yr old has never been very confident when it comes to making friends well he isn't that confident generally. So when he found friendship with this little boy we were relieved, however this boy has been asking my son to do things that are getting him into trouble at school. We have spoken to my son about doing these things and he knows they are wrong and knows he doesn't need to do them just because this other boy tells him too. We have invited other classmates round after school which have gone well but it hasn't stopped him wanting to play with this other boy. I know if he was a little more confident he would just be able to say no and make other friendships.
Any advice please?!?!
A

What sort of things is he being asked to do? Depending on whether they are dangerous or just cheeky will influence the answers and advice you get. More info needed.

Well the teachers are not telling me much just that are not good together, the mother of the other child says that they have tied a girl up with a skipping rope and another parent has said that her son is being teased by this boy and my son. I have parents evening in a few wks so hoping more information.

Some children, my DD included love the naughty kid, on occasion she has been the naughty one, but more often than not loves being in the orbit of dangerchild. I don't think there's much you can do during school hours except ask your DS to consider the feelings of the girl they tied up. Out of school, you control who he socialises with. Not any help whatsoever, just reassurance you are not alone.

Who's to say the other boy is the 'naughty' kid ?? Maybe they are as bad as each other. Don't always assume your child is telling you the truth. The teachers will have them sussed in a few weeks and will be better placed to tell you what he's like in class. Children's behaviour usually change when they start school and they push boundaries and will learn through their mistakes. This is not a dig at your or your child, by the way ... just my own experience over the years.

My son loves a naughty kid, his aim is to be one himself. I tried to encourage different friendships when he was 4 or 5 but it just makes him love whichever little hooligan he has a little boy crush on that week a little bit more!

Now I say he can be friends with whoever he chooses as long as I don't see his behaviour getting worse, it is up to him.

DS knows that he has been taught to behave well and that it is expected of him, if he wants to play with the naughty boys (who are much more fun) then he mustn't let me down.

Just had parents evening and his behaviour is their only concern, He has pinched children when standing in a queue, he bent a girls fingers back the other day because she told him that he shouldnt be standing where he was standing, when i spoke to him about it and asked what he could have done differently he said he could have walked away he just seems to react to things too quickly. With regards to his friend the school say that my son is only interested in this boy and not interested in making friends with any other children, they are just as bad as each other and bring out the worst in each other how on earth does this get better??
The school have said that we shouldnt punish him for bad behaviour at school I should leave that to them, we are starting a communication book next term so everyday im made aware of the good the bad and the ugly.

any book suggestions on making friends or anything to help with social skills??

I would concentrate not on separating him from this naughty boy (the school will do that if they think it is necessary), but on making it totally clear to him that you consider him entirely responsible for anything he does and that you will be just as cross with him if he did what the other boy told him. In my own experience, it is more often a case of two boys both trying to pain the other as the ringleader.

Very hard....have you thought about rewarding him for not doing anything naughty? It's not the same as punising him is it? If he is good for one week, he gets a comic or other treat?

My DD is also a bit naughty with one particuar girl....but lucklily she also plays with others...maybe you need to help your DS understand mpathy....maybe get him a pet to demonstrate responsibilty towards others...and how looking after people can make you feel good.