How to get a headstrong (understatement) 2.7 yo to wear a coat?

[MrsJohnDeere]

I am really struggling with this. Ds2 (a nightmare to dress at the best of times) will not wear a coat. Obviously now it is pouring with rain and he really ought to be in one.

Have tried:

1. trying to physically force it on, but he resists and really fights back and kicks and thrashes and I seriously think I could end up hurting him. Then he takes it off as soon as I've got it on.

1. reward charts - no interest at all. Would rather have no coat than any reward or praise (tore down the reward chart saying 'I don't like it'). Likewise attempts at bribery.

1. giving a choice of coats - refuses all of them.

I have to get him coated up for the school run and we don't have masses of time to play with (typically 8-8.30am is spent trying to get him dressed). His lack of coattage at the school gates in the pouring rain is starting to attract comment from other mothers.

Blmey, thta sounds hellish. Have you tried telling him he's not allowed to wear a coat?

buy him a brolly? one of those see-through dome ones

take the coat with you and if he gets cold he may change his mind

I had this with DS2 for a while at the same age - so I took him out without his coat. One mum commented and I handed her the coat and said "ok then,you try". Needless to say she couldn't get it on him

Have you asked him why he doens't wear it. Or have you asked what he wants to wear instead? I know he's young though and mightn't understand

You don't. Take his coat with you, let him get cold and wet, and when he whines hand the coat to him, without comment. He'll put the coat on then.

You just have to be thick skinned enough to ignore the 'helpful' remarks from kindly bystanders.

As others have said - carry the coat, let him have it when he's cold. No point in fighting him.

Oh, and roll your eyes and say 'I know, it's such a lovely age' to the tutting mums at the school gate.

Ds2 also once refused to wear coat, hat gloves and wellies in the snow. So he wnet to nursery wearing tracksuit and trainer in ankle deep snow, crying becasue he was cold and wet
I'm not all bad though, I did take him dry stuff to change into at nursery.
But although it's maybe hard, just don't fight with him, just say "ok then DS2 we are going now" don't mention coat or attempt to put it on him, but obviously carry it with you

and I hate to tell you this, but when they reach teenagerhood they still won't wear coats in wind rain hail or snow

It's such a pain isn't it.

I still struggle with my 6 year old ds who is a coat-phobic, but it is easier now than when he was a toddler.

One thing that helped us was getting a coat that went over his head, without a zip, so is more like a jumper, like this. Ds liked it as it didn't restrict him like coat can (and was harder to get off...)and we've bought one most years since.

another vote here for letting him get wet. My ds1 was like this and started to ask for his coat once he got cold. Or, could you get some iron on patches of favorite characters to put on coatv (try ebay or h and m)? Or, get a really revolting coat that he will hate as an alternative and give him a choice of coats as you leave?!

ah sorry just saw youve given a choice.

I had this last year, and I went and got a couple of thick fleeces and used them, with a couple of layers underneath. To be honest it wasn't worth the fight just before my daughter went to school (she had just started reception). If it's wet - I just took spare clothes. Funnily enough this year, he really likes his coat and doesn't mind one bit!

Thank you all. There's some really great advice here.

I am tending to get into a huge argument with him about it. I shall stop doing that, offer the coat once calmly, then move on.

I don't mind him getting wet but hate the thought that other mothers think I'm a terrible parent! I half expect to see an AIBU thread on here about the dreadful mother who only allows one of her children to wear a coat.

Had to bite my tongue this morning when another mother said something to the effect that she wouldn't put up with that sort of nonsense from her 2yo. I wanted to scream 'yes, but you have a nanny and your dh to help you get him dressed in the morning, I'm doing it all by myself'.

My boy won't wear one either; have also had barbed remarks, including "mine don't get a choice". Luckily, I already know I am a very bad mother who doesn't care about her poor cold child, so bleurgh!! to them. Life too short for pointless battles, imo, will come to no harm

Why do I never meet you posters at the school gate? I only ever see the people who tut about my parenting skills when I let my DC get cold (and no, they won't catch a cold just because it's cold).

Mrs JD - take the coat tomorrow and if the same woman says anyhting, do what I did. hand her the coat and say"you try then"

I like Fermina suggestion. It usually works quite well with my DDs. Tell him that he cant have it, that you are going to wear it now, and isnt it a lovely coat, but he isnt going to wear it.

Or tell him that Spiderman has a coat just like it.

I have the same feelings but mothers who have not experienced an, ahem, extremely determined child don't get it. What does 'wouldn't get away with that with me' mean anyway? Yes I could physically force the coat on my son - eventually - but he would rip it off AND end up in a sobbing screaming heap on the floor. So we still wouldn't look like a particularly functional family ...! No-one else's opinion counts, they're not in your shoes, ignore them and think about the day when your headstrong child is running the country and their biddable children are his minions .

If it helps, it does get a little bit easier as they get older!

Someone else mentioned over the head ones, I was gonna say what about over the head fleece type thing I sometimes use them instead of coats, it would keep him warm yet he may not feel it is a "coat" so maybe he would wear it, worth a try maybe? Some of them can be as warm as actual coats imo. If you could get him to wear that and a hat then i feel he would definitely look as though he is dressed for the cold and noone can make a comment

I would (and have done these!):

carry the coat, but never mention the damned thing
if it rains, say nothing
wait for him to ask for it
bask in smugness at self control and responsive parenting skillz

Don't care about other people. If they say anything, shush them and say 'don't spoil my plan'.

have you tried him with a coat with his fave character on? e.g. My ds adores Thomas the Tank Engine so gets v excited to wear anything with him on - especially if we give it a big build-up

DS always fights wearing a coat before we leave but once outside he's usually happy to have it on. I can quite understand really, I hate feeling all bundled up in a coat indoors, but then I remember he's two and while I can make the connection that I put it on now so I don't feel cold when I leave, but he doesn't make that connection and just thinks "WTF are you doing?? I don't want this on now!"

Hi,

I don't have a toddler yet - my son is 9.5 months old but my best friend in Canada had this problem and oh boy, I can tell you that you don't want to be without a coat in winter in most parts of Canada!

So she said 'fine, don't wear your coat but if you don't wear it then you have to carry it because I'm not going to carry it for you'. She sticks to this regardless of how much he complains about carrying the coat. And it works! She makes it HIS decision - he can either wear it or carry it. So sometimes he carries it but carrying a coat when you are toddler on the move is a pain so as often as not he wears his coat.

I hope you find that to be helpful advice. It works really well for her because they walk/take public transport everywhere. She'll be chuffed I shared her toddler tip :-)