How to address dd wetting herself?

[Oneandnomore]

Dd is 5 and during the Easter term of school started to wet herself at school. Only little dribbles, which suggests to me that she has good bladder control.

Over the summer this stopped, however now back at school and she has started to wet again. She has also been wetting out of school also. We were in the car last Tuesday about to go for her swimming lesson and she just sat and wee'd. Today, she was jigging about and I asked her numerous times did she need the loo and she said, very defiantly that she didn't. Then she sat on the sofa and I could see that she was wet.

Up until that point I had kept calm about this but I was angry with her today. I told her that if she wanted to be a baby then I would treat her like one and until she could be dry then she wouldn't get to do big girl things like swimming and gymnastics. But she didn't seem bothered by this at all.

We have tried reward systems, putting a heart shaped stamp on her hand to remind her to go to the loo at school and spoken with her teacher, all to no avail.

I should say I have taken her to see the nurse and her urine is fine, no infection. Also, she does still wet at night sometimes, but I don't think this is related?

This is getting me down now, so any suggestions are welcome.

It must be really irritating, rather than worrying - it doesn't sound as if there is anything really wrong medically. The jiggling around indicates that she is well aware she needs to go.

Could it be the school loos that are upsetting her? They can get rather smelly and off-putting. I've known many children who refuse to visit the school loos but go at home without prompting. Maybe she has got into the habit at school and is unfortunately continuing at home.

No other changes at home e.g. house move, new baby?

Maybe she has Busy Little Girl Syndrome, which is an overconfidence about holding on combined with the desire not to miss anything while peeing off by herself in the bathroom.

Or the schedule at school/ loos at school/ some elements of both are forcing her to hold on too long so she has learned to sometimes unsuccessfully hold it in and ignore her body's signals that she needs to go.

Talk to her teacher about the class toilet time policy and see if she can be encouraged to go when she needs to. UTIs can result in too much holding in, and they are not pleasant for anyone.

result from ....

We had this with our daughter and really, she just grew out of it. We tried stars n rewards to no real avail. We called her 'tide mark knickers' cos they were wet n dry all day! Apparently, I did it too for my mum.....

allbie..

seenyertoeslately, the loos are pretty decent, clean and decorated pink. No, no changes at home. I have spoken to her and she says that nothing is worrying her.

mathanxiety I think you are spot on, she is too busy rushing out at play time instesd of taking two minutes to go to the loo.

I will speak to her teacher again tomorrow and keep reminding dd about going. The thing is, I don't want her to become stubborn about this. She can be a stroppy little madam at times!

My DD started with this at 3 after toilet training without problems. The little accidents and new pants up to 6 times a day drove me mental and nothing but nothing we did would improve matters.

Does your DD dribble when she doesn't have a full bladder? Can it happen at any time? Does it seem to catch her unawares too? Will she dribble but just sit there as she doesn't actually need the loo?

I ask because after much insistence on my part DD was referred to paediatric urologist and turns out she has a twitchy bladder. It randomly contracts and spasms forcing wee out. She is now on antispasmodic and it works a treat, completely dry (except when she has UTI but that's another issue altogether!).

I have wondered about this, although I didn't realise that it is a medical condition. Sometimes, she can't get to the loo in time even if she has only been an hour before. Would this account for the night wetting too then?

I have asked her if she knew when she needed the loo when she has wet and she has said no, but I thought she was just saying that to get out of being in trouble.

DD1 is 9 and still does this - lots of jiggling about before we basically order her to the loo. She denies it for ages, then ends up having an accident if she then can't make it in time.

Last week she left a lovely golden puddle on the train about two stops from home (despite having been about an hour earlier). She will go from not needing the loo at all to being screamingly desperate during a 10 minute drive home from school. She also still wets the bed on occasion.

I don't think it's medical, she just can't be bothered/forgets to stop what she's doing, and she does seem to be one of those people with a short "warning" time. She just needs to learn to manage it better, which will come with age.

Until then, we do the management for her!! Make sure the teachers insist on regular visits, and when you suggest she goes, don't take no for an answer!

The hormone (I think its a hormone anyway) that regulates production of urine is weakest at night apparently, which is why night dryness can take a while to catch up with day dryness. Or at least I think that's what urologist said. So my DD was dry at night immediately when she potty trained, but stopped being dry at night over last two years, and would have larger accidents and went back into pajama pants. But her medicine now has also meant she's back to being dry at night too which is an added bonus.

The doctor said this was something she would probably grow out of, but the accidents could be so frequent they affected everything we tried to do outside the house. I had to take more changes of clothing for her than for baby DS. I pushed for the medicine because it was beginning to affect her confidence and she had started school and I didn't want her to be forever known as the girl who wet herself. After a few weeks on it I asked her if she felt any different and she told me she could tell when she needed to go to the toilet now. took so long for me to realise this was a medical problem that could be fixed

Ooo just remembered something that might help. We initially had consultation with continence nurse. She taught DD to sit up straight on loo, legs slightly apart, take few deep breaths at the end to make sure bladder fully emptied. Then we had to keep diary. She had to go to the loo every hour to hour and a half so we set timetable based on her school day and asked school to help ensure she kept to it. Then we had to monitor how many accidents still happened and at what time if day.

Perhaps this is something you could start at home? We found thus showed the problem was actually more extensive than we realised, but conversely these steps might help reduce it. Certainly it would be evidence to show the doctor or urologist if you did feel the need to get done further advice.

Oh bless her wingandprayer. So glad that your dd got a good outcome.

I have now started taking spare outfits out with us, and have had to buy a spare car seat for when the covers are being washed.

Thanks TheNextMrsDepp, it is really frustrating isn't it. More so because it doesn't seem to bother dd, but it is driving me potty! Sorry, couldn't resist!

I will see how things go this week, and if no improvement then take her back to GP.

Thanks for that. I will arrange to speak with her teacher. The trouble is, I don't think that dd will actually tell her teacvher if she has an accident. She always has spare pants and wipes in her school bag but she never changes herself, which she is quite capable of doing.

Yes, it is really frustrating, mainly because dd1 is NINE - and really not that fussed. When she wet herself on the train it was dd2 who was in tears because she didn't want dd1 to embarrass herself.

My DD is 5 and a half, and although she toilet trained at 2y9 months, she has always been a 'spotter'. Until recently I thought she was just being lazy and ignoring the message from her bladder that it was full. I would reprimand her and then tried rewards for dry panties, but to no avail. DD kept on telling me that she didn't know those 'little wees' were coming. Eventually, I decided something wasn't right and went to see the doctor. Turns out she has 'Faecal Loading". This is when the bowel is not emptying properly and the weight of faecal matter is pushing on the bladder, causing it to empty slightly before the proper signal gets to the brain- due to the angle of the bladder apparently. She had an xray and you could see this dark mass in her intestine, where the blockage was. Apparently most parents won't even be aware of this Faecal loading, as the child still does poos - they aren't constipated - it's just that not all the waste is being evacuated. Dr put her on a course of laxative type stuff for 2 weeks and it seems to have cleared up the problem. Hope this is of some help. A visit to the Dr might be what's needed to make sure it's nothing more serious. I felt so bad for shouting at DD, especially when she couldn't help it.

Poor you and her. Is she very thirsty too? wetting at night and constantly having wees during the day were symptoms of ds 2's diabetes.