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4 yr old boy -social skills

4 replies

chummymummy · 02/10/2010 17:21

My pfb is a lovely,well behaved little boy.

He has always been very polite and happy. If i have any concerns it is that he doesn't really like to talk or socialise with others very much. He would always rather play on his own or around other children but not really with them. He is very good at tasks,writing and numbers etc, but he seems to get panicky and withdrawn in groups.

On occasion he has told me that he 'switches his ears off' when he doesn't want to listen to people.When we are out and about he doesn't look around him very much, and tends to focus on something like a toy. Its like he is blocking everything out.

Although, i have had my concerns about him fitting in with others/ making friends, i realise that this is his personality. He is very focused on things that interest him, and cuts himself off from everything else. My mum says that i was exactly the same.

However, now his teacher has mentioned that he seems to lack a sense of urgency at school (when asked to do something like change into PE kit etc), and that some of the other teachers had questioned his ability to socialise with his peers. I am seeing her on Monday afternoon to discuss her concerns.

Does anybody have any experience of this? Could it be an SEN issue? Would be grateful for any feedback. I have never met a child like him, and would be happy to hear from anyone to whom this sounds familiar. Thanks

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StarlightMcKenzie · 02/10/2010 17:26

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Anenome · 02/10/2010 22:11

My DD is 6 and we had the same trouble over the lack of urgency thing. Last week I began using a wind up chicken timer to set her goals for getting dressed faster or completing her homework...I made a game of it with daft sound effects and created a sense of urgency for her...se oved it and there has been a vast improvement this week.

He is still very young though...he may just be introverted. Nothing wrong with that at all!

anonymosity · 02/10/2010 22:17

I love the expression that he turns off his ears. My husband turns off his ears frequently and has zero sense of urgency, even in genuinely urgent situations. I think this is largely a temperament thing. Sometimes its not helpful but often it translates into a measured approach to problems without any rash decisions to regret.

Our son, also 4 shows exactly the same characteristics, though we've not had any comments from teachers (yet). I'd be interested to know what you find out.

chummymummy · 03/10/2010 20:25

Thanks for the replies..
His teacher has introduced an egg timer to the class. She has said that she doesn't want to single him out so she is asking the whole class to participate in 'beat the timer'. I am hoping that this works, though when i try to rush him, it makes him panicky and flustered, so i have backed off a bit.

I know what you mean your husband anonymosity, mine is a little too laid back. i think my son is either a deep thinking genius...or he just takes after his dad. :)

I will see what his teacher has to say tomorrow.

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