3yo ds obsessed with boofing, boxing and swordfighting - is it normal?

[VFemme]

Hi there,

My 3yo ds is obsessed with "boofing", boxing and swordfighting and I really don't know whether this is just normal boy behaviour or whether we should try more to discourage it.

All manner of random items can be turned into swords and guns, and he loves playfighting with his dad and with another boy at nursery. He loves talking about superheroes (Spiderman etc) but we don't actually watch anything like that on the television.

At the moment we're trying to play it down and say that we don't "boof" (punch) people and that if he continues to talk about/act out boofing then we'll take his superhero fridgemagnets away (scary huh? but it seems to work...)

So far it hasn't extended to him hurting anyone, but I don't know if that's just down to luck. Will he turn into the playground "hurty boy"?

This is So Normal.

DS1 is a lovely, gentle child with lots of friends. But he is only happy when he's waving a stick around the garden pretending to be a knight. He's now nearly 6 and has been like this since 3. His brother is the same. We only intervene if the "pretending" looks like it might escalate - he's quite clear that any actual hurting is completely unacceptable, and actually, it very rarely happens.

I don't know how much is innate, and how much is learnt but I remember watching a Bruce Parry documentary on the BBC where little African boys were learning how to stick-fight, and it just reminded me of DS1 and his pile of sticks in the garden.

I think, like so many of these things, it's about appropriate supervision and good boundaries.

It's normal, and I don't know when they grow out of it as DS hasn't yet.

I found the following family rule helpful: "no fighting games unless everyone knows they're playing and us happy to join in". This minimizes the potential for random attacks, but still gives scope for a good battle or superhero adventure.

I suggest you don't ban weapon toys altogether - if he's prowling round with a nice lightweight light sabre he's unlikely to do much damage and you've got a better idea if what's coming than if he improvised with random objects.

Finally, find out when he could join a junior programme at a martial arts club. It would be great for channeling his fighting spirit into a disciplined form.

It is really, really normal. Better get used to it because it will probably last a lot longer!

Yes normal ,normal,normal they DO grow out of it, Honest !!

Oh yes! My 3 yr son told me he loves guns! Much to my horror as I won't even buy him a water pistol or anything remotely like a gun! Boys eh?!

Entirely normal....I later found out that this is genetic and is closely associated with a delight in tractors, traffic lights, sticks and hammers. Girls appear to like being stroppy, spreading beads on a page with glue and have an endless fascination with all things shiny, feathery and sold for £1 on market stalls.

My DS loves guns, even though he has never seen anything more violent than Peppa Pig. I have no idea where he has even heard of guns. He was beyond excited when he saw the town's war memorial as it was a tank with a gun.

So, sounds normal to me.

Thanks so much everyone. You can tell I don't have much experience of this!

I can also add to the list of things he is fascinated with: anything with wheels, anything that goes fast, anything with big teeth, crashes, explosions and general mayhem.

I'll keep a close eye to make sure it doesn't get out of hand, but at least I can stop worrying!

Strongly disagree with above posters.
Our nearly 3 DTs do not know what guns, swords are, never mind fighting with them.
I do believe it's down to the sheer amount of television you are allowing your son to watch.
The blasted Cbeebs are notorious in stuffing their regular (mindnumbingly dull) programs with deluge of Disney toy and cartoon commercials that are chock-a-block full of all manner of fighting, shouting and crashing.
Boys will be boys and I know ours will start playing fighting games eventually, but also believe there's something wrong when a 3 year old runs about shouting ' I will kill you, you are dead' and waving his quite realistic AK47 - as I witnessed couple of weeks ago on a playground.

Rollmops - I can assure you my son NEVER watches anything but a little (and I mean may be half an hour a day) of cbeebies, and I have never seen fighting on that! I am sorry but I totally think you have this wrong, may be your sons are different, but a majority of boys do the boisterous fighting/gun thing. I don't really know where they get it from, but I do know it's not from the telly my son watches!

and also Cbeebs and Cbeebies are BBC channels so that do not have any adverts or disney products!

One happy knight in our house! Not a hitty boy and really quite cautious. No influence from tv just awonderful imagination left to grow...damn those dragons!

I think it's simplistic to blame the television for playground fighting, unless you are sure the children concerned have no elder brothers, cousins, or neighbours.

No ads, Disney or otherwise. My son picked up guns from watching the troops parading though our town last year, and again from the war memorial.