2 year old has a tantrum at everything

[Blissbird]

My 2 year old son has a throw himself on the floor tantrum every time he has to do something. It could be as simple as sitting to the table to eat lunch or dinner, or spending longer than 15 mins in his buggy. I have had the day from he'll today and the only thing that stopped this behaviour was a smack on his hand. I follow the naughty spot routine and remove his favourite toys but nothing works. He spends the whole two mins on the naughty spot kicking and screaming during and after I have spent unto 30 mins returning him to the spot after he has got up. Is this normal for his age or am I just unlucky?

Hello, had to reply, my dd is 3.5 but when she was 18 months she had major tantrums over everthing, people say oh its the terrible twos but it was 10 or more major tantrums a day over nothing it was very draining and embarrassing, we couldnt even go to the shop without a scene. I felt like a prisoner in my own home. After changing a few of my routines such as housework so I could sit down and have 1:1 time at breakfast and do some activities together I saw a major change, that seemed to work for us and weve never really needed the whole naughty spot routine as with dd talking to her usually works. Now she is older a bit of time out is sometimes needed and can be effective if we talk to her about what she is doing wrong and how we need to do things differently.

DD at age 3 does still have a few tantrums i guess like most kids, sometimes i feel like its just mine and want to hide when its in front of other mums at school when their kids are behaving like angels. I manage to keep my cool though which I think helps the situation but it does get easier as they get older as I find i can offer dd choices if she continues to behave in this way theres no cartoons/toys/soft play/sweets or whatever or she can tidy up/have a bath/get changed/stop shouting etc and we can have a story/go to nursery/watch a dvd.

Dont worry all kids have tantrums but if you feel its too many and its very draining on you then something has to change and it will make it better for everyone.

It's normal.
I just ignore most of the time and if DD starts throwing food from her high chair, for example, I just take her down.
It will pass.
Smacking his hand is wrong.

Should have added that it's wrong because he doesn't have yet an ability to control his emotions- smacking will not change that.

It is normal if my two are anything to go by. I can sympathise though, it is very wearing. I have got much less embarrassed about it with my second child.

It will pass.

I wouldn't use time out though, he is too young to understand. You say yourself it doesn't work, so don't bother with it. Ignore the tantrum if you can safely do so. Try distraction. Removing toys is unlikely to help, they simply don't have enough control over their reactions to make the connection imo.

I would try very hard not to slap his hands, I think this won't help either and is not an appropriate response. I have been driven to the end of my tether too, but I have regretted it ever since.

I'm in exacly the same position as the OP. Today I made a massive effort to change MY behaviour and I think we all had a better day.

I gave 1:1 time at every available opportunity. I really tried to do loads of kiss/cuddles.

I praised her at every available opportunity

I COMPLETELY ignored her screaming. It really foxed her that it promoted no response. It was in the car so it was so hard to ignore, but it had the desired effect.

I sat down and ate lunch and tea with the kids. I didn't start clearing dishes/loading the dishwasher as normal. I didn't do any 'one more mouthful' type dialogue.

I didn't draw attenition to any negative behaviour at the meal table. I drew NO attention to what she was eating and whether it was good or not. She actually ate really well but had a 'go' at testing me... IGNORED!

She had a tantrum when I was doing aquadraw with her and I just said I didn't want to play with her if she was going to shout at me. She said sorry (unprompted) and asked me to draw again.

At bedtime I gave her warnings of what was about to happen... 5 more minutes before TV goes off...

It has really made a difference. I have become WAY too shouty recently. Naughty steps aren't great for us as I have to 'police' it and I have a 10m old very mobile baby so in the time that I'd faffed around with putting her on the step etc he would be up the stairs or trying to pull himself up on my leg. Just not workable for us.

I hate that feeling of losing control. Not only that i'm mad but that a 2yo has got the better of me.

I'd really recommend trying some really positive stuff to at least step outside the negative cycle that tantrums bring about.

Good luck!