Dd1 getting breast buds at 9yo - what can I do for her?

[oneofsuesylvesterscheerios]

It's times like this I realise that losing my mum as a child has left me lacking 'the right way' of doing things for my own dds. My own puberty was a real make-it-up-as-you-go-along mess and I want better for my dds.

Dd1 has just turned 9 and in Y4 and has been complaining of a sore chest. The other night I noticed that she has one breast bud and I realised this could be the start of it all. I read somewhere that girls sometimes have a bit of a hormone spurt at around this age then it might die down before coming back again later - is this right?

Dh and I spoke to her about changes to her body and reassured her that she would eventually have two buds! But should I maybe invest in some of those closer-fitting crop top vests to help her? and should I just wait and see what happens or warn her teacher that she might be a bit more self-conscious?

I feel bloody useless. My dad's dying at the moment and we're on such an emotional rollercoaster; she's been upset enough as is it with all this and my heart bleeds for her that we might no have a whole set of hormones and further emotions to deal with.

I've got one the same. Age and one bud. I took DD to get some cropped vest tops and she is happily wearing one uder her normal vest so she isn't odd for being the only one in her class. Our DD knows what to expect with regard to periods etc (although hopefully that'll be a couple of years away). Ask your DD what she wants and don't worry about the teachers, IME, they are well used to hormonal girls around this age.

Thanks.

Oh god though - she seems so young!

Yes, put that down to good nutrition I think. DD is pretty much laid back about the whole thing, I think she is quite excited about growing a proper bosom but is 'definitely not going to have a furry fanjo'. I have tried to explain to her that she doesn't really get that choice - not mentioning depilation in any way. We'll cross that bridge when the time comes.
I think that all you can do is keep the lines of communication open.

Oh poor you {sad} I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. You must be really struggling at the moment. I hope you have lots of rl support? I also have a 9yr old dd who has just started to develop breasts, its seems a v.slow process and she certainly isn't the only one! I searched high and low for a suitable book and found a fab one on amazon which she loves. Its called 'The Care and Keeping of YOU' by Valorie Lee Schaefer.
By the way, you sound far from useless! It sounds like you and your dh are being open and talking to her, which at this stage is sooo important. I put a noet in my dds book saying that if she ever had a question or worry that she was too shy to say, she should leave me a note - she loved that!
I hope that helps, I'm sure many more knowledgeable than me will be along soon..... x

God, sorry about that v.badly written post. Half asleep and trying to eat my breakfast whilst typing - sorry!

Thanks again. That book sounds a good one. I'll go and have a look at it now. The notes are also a good idea; I might give her a pad of post-its to use for questions and we could use these as the basis of our chats.

I'm really keen that she isn't embarrassed too much by everything. I'm aware I was quite ashamed by everything happening to me. My mum had died by the time all this started happening to me and with just my dad and brother in the house I was mortified. I had a fab auntie who helped where she could but she didn't live with us and she's passed away now.

Dh is very keen to be involved and I want to foster an open relationship between them. I was quite jealous of girls I knew at school who could talk to their dads about periods and stuff. It wasn't my dad's fault - he was just at a loss really, poor bloke.

Thanks for this fab advice

My DD is also 9 and developed one breast bud this summer which has now been joined by number 2. I noticed recently that on certain days she was wearing a little crop top to school under her shirt and asked her why. She said that on PE days (when the girls and boys get changed together) she gets embarrassed without her little top on. I hadnt really thought about the boys and girls changing for PE so she was very sensible about it. I am looking forward to taking her out and getting her first little bra :) She isnt keen on the boobs getting too big though as I am quite big chested but I have told her to be proud of who she is!