Advice about DS1

[fledtoscotland]

He has just turned 3 and is a fantastic little boy who I adore but his behaviour is driving me and DH demented. This week he has turned from darling to monster constantly hitting his younger brother (just turned 2), scratching me and DH, throwing everything within arms reach and turning into a mini-satan if I even suggest that he might like to sit down to eat instead of running round the kitche at 90mph chasing the dog.

Please please can someone tell me that its a) a developmental phase and b) he will wake tomorrow morning having passed this phase and turned to my boy (spirited but not satanic)

failing that, how do I cope? DS2 cries before DS1 has even got near him in anticipation of the thump/push/scratch. Have tried ignoring, tell off, sending to room, trying to explain that its not nice to make someone cry, he even got smacked on his bum this morning for holding DS2's head down whilst he pummelled him He doesn't seem to understand its wrong?

Have spoke to nursery and he's the perfect child there so he seems to save his up for home.

TIA for any suggestions

I recommend this book

here

It has been very helpful in helping me deal with DD's less desirable behaviour.

This is a very frustrating situation for you all. What i do with my almost 3 yr old, is we have a time out, in her room, where she sits on her bed and thinks about her behaviour. she waits there for me to come and fetch her, have a quick chat on her behaviour and give the necc apologies. Now this is simple in theory, but it is the leading up to that point that can be tricky. She is a very bright kid, so there is no excuses for not understanding things. I give her one warning. like dont take things out your sisters hand (she is almost 1) If you do it again you are going to your room. The next time she does it, i dont even engage in conversation, a just keep calm and quiet, and put her in her room, and leave. i give her about 4 minutes ish, sometimes more if i really need to calm down first. Then i go and get her , we chat, she says sorry.
Now i find the trick to this is being very consistant. You give one warning then follow thru. It can seem like an overexaderation sometimes, but just keep at it. it just takes one time not to follow thru and they see your weakspot, which makes future endevours that much harder.
Another thing is not to engage in an argument, where you shout he shout, that just makes every one angry and frustrated. I just use actions to speak a thousand words. They soon learn that the only way they will get out of not being sent to their room, is not being naughty in the first place. Cos believe me, at that age they are masters of manipilating a situation to their benifit.
Now this being on top of things and consistant is def the most tricky part, as lets face it, we have other children to deal with, dinner to cook and house to clean, so many things that need and take our attention. But if you can just stick to it for a few days im sure it will get better and better, as he knows you are the boss, what you say goes, and there will always be consiquences to his action.