Constant wetting in a 4 yo

[MaryKW]

Hello All,

I'm new here, but I'm getting desperate and hope that somebody out there might be able to help.

I have a daughter who is four years and three months. She has just started school although this problem precedes that.

She was potty trained at about 2.5. I won't say it was easy, but in the end, about a year down the line, we got there and she was completely reliable for about six months. We took her out of her night-time nappy and she never once wet the bed.

A couple of months ago she started having accidents again. And she is getting worse and worse to the extent that she is now having several accidents a day. We had her checked out by the doctor for a UTI and the tests came back all clear.

We've tried all sorts of sticks and all sorts of carrots and nothing seems to work. It's getting beyond a joke as she really doesn't seem to care. And, quite frankly, she smells!

Has anyone had similar problems? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Thanks
Mary

I have similar problems, interspersed with the odd poo accident.

It has seriously dropped in frequency since I instituted "If you're so tired you cannot even get up and go to the toilet, you need to go and have a nap"

Ds2 Does Not Like Having Naps. So now he tries much harder not to wee himself, with good results. I don't mind if it happens on route to the toilet, or when we can't get to the toilet, but I am SICK of finding him sitting in a puddle. My sofa cushions were spending more time in the wash than on the sofa.

Also, before you go down my path, I'd try introducing enforced hourly toilet visits for everyone (if you do it, she will do it)

Thanks! I think tiredness is a factor but she's actually quiet keen on naps! I'd probably never get her out of bed if I went down that route!

I can enforce toilet breaks to a certain extent, but it's difficult to police when she's out of the house most of the time. I need to talk to the teachers to make sure they are making her go as often as possible. But it's frustrating as I shouldn't have to be doing this at her age ...

I agree that it's not so bad if she's actually trying to get to the toilet. But most of the time she just doesn't seem to care.

If she's keen on naps, I'd send her for naps.

Thanks Colditz, but sending her to bed isn't really a viable alternative ... She can't have a nap or she won't sleep at night.

Bumping in case anyone else has any ideas, I am beyond the end of my tether. I just told her to go for a wee and she sat and weed on the floor. She just doesn't care!

If she can't help it sometimes a dairy intolerance can be to blame. or she's getting rebellious and needs to be approached in an oblique way e.g. (Shall we take fave toy to the toilet?)

Thanks ppeatfruit. My gut tells me it's more rebellion than a physiological issue. I just told her to go for a wee and she did, she was sitting on the floor at the time! So clearly she has some control!

I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow to discuss, and I'll probably make an appointment to discuss it with her teachers at school too. I reckon there is little point me taking any particular action if it is not consistent with what they are doing at school, so we need to work out an approach together.

In the meantime, the washing machine just keeps on rolling ...

Sorry, no advice but my DD is similar at the moment. Toilet trained quickly when just turned three, was very reliable. Then started wetting a lot the last few weeks and she doesn't care a jot. Urine sample sent etc.

I think my DD frankly CBA to go to the toilet. Either that or attention seeking as she is very jealous of DS at the moment.

Does she wet at night? DD is still dry overnight which adds to my suspicion that they are not 'accidents' - and she will strongly refuse to go to the toilet and when you get her there she has warm wet pants on that have obviously just been wee'd on

I think I might have overdone the not telling her off thing - as when she is wet she just says 'it doesn't matter they will soon dry in the sunshine', or 'they are only a bit wet Mummy, it doesn't matter.'

Mary, have you seen the ERIC website?

I think they have a helpline that is supposed to be good.

One thought, is she drinking enough? Sometimes, if they do not drink enough they do not always get the signal that the bladder is full and needs to be emptied.

Thanks both ...

Yes, she does wet at night but not all the time. I've taken to lifting her when I go to bed and she's often a bit damp.

She always seems to have 'little' accidents. It never seems to be the full amount. (I have an older son too, and when he had accidents it was like a waterfall!) But she's constantly damp.

She drinks normally at home. It's difficult to police what she drinks in the school day (they only allow water, and she's not that keen!) but I can discuss that with them too if I go in.

Will check out that website now, thanks!

daft thanks for website. Mary my ds has started doing this too we have had one dry day in 3weeks. He's 4 and almost 2weeks trained at 2.5 but wet at night.

I just wanted to say i know exactly how you feel. Haven't taken mine to dr as fairly sure it's CBA. Trying to start potty training Dd almost 2 but can't even get head space to do it. [frustratingly angry emotion]

I'm pretty sure it's a case of CBA for my daughter too. Frustrating, isn't it! But there's some good advice on that Eric website!

Fingers crossed they both start BA pretty soon!

My dd (3) has been a bit like this. She was potty trained at 2.3 and was completely fine for 3 months - no accidents - but since then has regressed in a definite can't be bothered fashion. She's been better this week as if her knickers are still dry when her Daddy gets home then he gives her 50p. I'm not sure about this sort of birbery really, but it seems to be working so far....