Conscientious objector - any experiences?

[Indi28]

Haven't been on for a while so excuse lack of accepted acronyms etc.

Have just had my first 'talk' from my DS's(4.5) new school teacher today and left feeling quite inadequate. DS who is relatively no bother at home cos he can just potter about refuses to co-operate with activities and routines at school. He was the same at nursery where we had to resort to threats to take away toys, tv, Ds etc when he got home on a night. Thought he had settled in well at school and was growing out of previous behaviour until the 'talk' today. Apparently same issues to the point that she asked me whether he was able to count above 3, because he wouldn't play a counting game - he can count into 20's & 30's arrhh. My DD is the complete opposite - paragon of virtue at school and early adolescent at home.

Not sure what to do and starting to worry that his education is starting to suffer because of his behaviour. Lots of threads about difficult behaviour at home, but any experiences of this at school? Any advice gratefully received.

I find that really strange. DD is the polar opposite. Will bend over backwards to please her teachers but is defiant and rebellious at home.
Does he like school? Some children just don't like being told what to do in different settings.
Sorry I can't be any help but didn't want your message to go unanswered. Perhaps try posting it in the education bit.

Might be worth asking if his opposition is general or to certain activities. When I went to school I realised one way of not having to do much was to act stupid and a bit babyish, so resisted learning-type activities quite forcibly despite being not only more than capable of them, but demanding to be taught them at home. I ended up reading Shakespeare at home (at 7!) and remedial books at school until the teachers got wise.
Could your DS being doing something similar?

Thanks for the thoughts. I think it is about certain activities as he needs to see theres a point / incentive. So he said that he eats all his dinner at school as he gets a star and when he fills his sheet he gets a treat! He doesn't see the point with the other stuff as he tells me he hasn't learnt anything at school yet!

I think the teachers are starting to get the measure of him. With a pincer movement of 'time out' for bad behaviour at school and Tv / electrical ban at home - I think he is starting to get the point, that its better to co-operate (she says quickly touching wood!!). Its just unfortunate that you have to have the daily anxiety about what story awaits you at the school gate. I'm sure its 'just another phase'

Thanks again.