Four and half week old - con they already have a bad temper?

[mammakin]

I've just got my 4 1/2 week old off to sleep after he screamed for an hour with nothing obvious wrong. Any suggestions can they already have a temper. Find it very difficult to listen to him crying like that. Hubby is great trying to let me get some sleep but can't. Breast feeding going well I think.

Could be wind, discomfort, over-tiredness.
I would try to avoid labels for now.
It's hard adjusting to a new baby, but hang in there. Well done for breastfeeding

more likely got a bit of trapped wind ???

It's very unlikely. Also, don't label him too soon - my DS was a klingon velcro baby until 9 weeks and then turned into Dream Baby. There's a book called the Happiest Baby by Harvey Karp - I would read it. It basically explains that all newborns should really be in the womb for another 3 months as they're really not ready to be in the world. Tiny babies don't have the ability to switch themselves off to sleep and the book gives very easy techniques for settling an unsettled baby.

i agree it wont be bad temper he'l have a bit of wind or is uncomfortable. I understand what you mean about the crying, when ds was born his cry used to make every hair on my body stand on end, it will pass. congrats btw!

aww, it sounds like he's uncomfortable. i highly doubt it is temper at that age. i know people can put silly things into your head and when they are just new you are so unsure you don't know what to believe. i remember when ds2 was born people kept commenting if he cried that he was going to be a whingey child. err, nooo!! he is a newborn baby...they cry. keep up with all the cuddles and don't stress the tears, tehy are all part and parcel. if you are worried speak to your HV.

congratulations.

Firstly, well done for getting him off to sleep. Secondly, don't worry. Unfortunately, babies sometimes do just cry for no reason. It does not mean they have a temper. Our first had a few episodes where he just cried for 2 hours and we tried everything.

If the crying persists, ie 3 days a week or more, for a couple of weeks then it might be colic. You can try infacol or gripe water, wearing upright in the sling, using a bouncy chair.

Good luck.

Congratulations on your new baby.

No, its not a bad temper, babies cry from time to time and unfortunately sometimes you have no idea why.

The book that Unrequited sounds good. You might also like to read "Babycalming" by Caroline Deacon, she's a bfing counsellor. Its not a how to manual, it just sort of explains why your baby is doing what its doing and gives you some ideas on how to tackle it. Its the kind of book that gives you the confidence to trust your own judgement and not follow someone slse's rules.

My DS used to scream for hours so I understand how tough it can be. He is 6 now and is the most happy, laid back, funny, popular little boy.

He doesn't know he's a person yet, so it can't really be temper (wait till he's 2...). Newborns really don't have a will of their own, regardless of what an older generation might think - they're actually very sensible! The things they want are the things they need.

No, 4 week old babies do not have bad tempers.

I also disagree that they cry for no reason. It's just that sometimes it is really hard to find out what the reason is, and it's not always something that it is in our power to instantly fix.

Too hot
Too cold
Too tired
Not tired enough
Wants comfort
Hungry / thirsty
Wind
pain
Snotty
Wet nappy
Pooey nappy
Nappy or button or something digging in
Doesn't like your choice of wallpaper

I just kept running through the list, and usually ended up wandering round the house shuggling mine on my shoulder and singing the alphabet to soothe them.

Good luck!

Have you tried swaddling?

Swaddling is a good suggestion, its the nonly thing that worked for my Niece. The only thing that worked for my 2 was being with Mummy.

Swaddling has been tried but my boy kicks off his covers immediately and Iwas going to try a grobag with fear and trepidation!!!!

Thank you all so much this is my first time on Munsnet and already it's helping!!! Will continue to go with the flow- everyday is different with DS which is great and confusing at the same time. Reluctant to read books as got Contented Little baby and it drove me bats - my mother now has it under the instruction of DH!!!!

ps Everyone telling me not to look for any settled routine for 6 weeks - is there some magic switch????

No magic switch - they start to get into one routine with x naps per day then, just as you get used to it, they drop one nap. Cue confusion all round. Then it's time to start weaning. Then another nap goes. And so on. That's parenting. Ditch the books, go with the flow.

BTW, when you say baby screamed for an hour, how were you getting him to sleep? At 4 1/2 months, food and cuddles are all he needs really. Don't worry about feeding to sleep - it's what they like best and they grow out of it naturally anyway.

Thank you scroobious Pip (great name) Will take that on board and give myself a break.

no, I dont think babies are bad tempered. I do think that babies, like everyone else, have temperaments....so some babes are dreamy happy contented souls, and some come out crotchety and irritable.

However, it is more likely that baby is uncomfortable/cold/hot/hungry/bored.

Start from the top - is he fed? Wet? Dirty? Winded? Warm? COld? entertained?

It could also be something you are eating irritating his tummy. Cut out caffeine (tea, coffee, cola) and reduce your milk intake as these can irritate babies tums. drink fennell tea or rooibos tea which can help settling tums via breastmilk.

Try not to over stimulate him either - bounding him up and down and throwing him the air while the TV is on full blast will not let him settle down. try Swaddling, calm rocking, darkened room.

There is no magic switch but I found the first 6 weeks the hardest with my 2 DC, after the 6 week growth spurt things seemed to start settling down and its not that far away.

Glad you ditched the book you had. Babies are much better at finding their own routines than we give them credit for. The last thing you want at this stage is a prescriptive book. If your baby doesn't follow the routines laid down you could easily end up feeling like you are doing something wrong when you sound like you are doing everything right to me.

Was wondering why are you thinking of the grobag with fear and trepidation? Both of mine had them from birth and were fine.

I was thinking along the same lines as Scroobious, how did you get him to go to sleep?

Also, are you mixing with any other bfing Mums? When I had DC1 the only thing that kept me sane was turning up at the local NCT group each week and talking to the other Mums and realising I wasn't doing anything wrong, some babies do just cry from time to time. Is there a group near to you that you could go to?

I agree - I dont think its bad temper - tiny babies are just funny little things and it can be a myriad of reasons, most mentioned above. My DD used to grumble and cry from 6 pm onwards until she finally conked out for the night - we just used to walk her up and down, bounce on the birthing ball with her and swap back and forth with DH who also would have her for 10-12 pm so I got some sleep. It all started to settle at the 8-9 week mark,I guess as she just got older and calmer/ her tummy troubles got sorted out as she developed...

Hang on in there xx

Well I'll go against the consensus a little as I do believe that babies have their own personalities from very early. My DS was sunny and easy-going. Now I have DD and from birth she has really ben much more moody and grumpy. I'm not being negative about that - she's wonderful, we adore her, grumpy scowls and all. But there is an obvious difference in their general demeanor! Getting to know an individual baby's foibles and moods is part of learning to understand them so I think it's a reasonable thing for the OP to ask.

At 41/2 weeks though, the crying could be a lot of things as others have said. It's so hard to tell at that age, but gradually he will get better at communicating what he needs.

Apologies that it's Richard and Judy, but try watching this. It worked wonders for us when DD was tiny. DH loved doing it too. So, so wish it would work on my 13 mo! (however, am studying his toddler book, hoping for similar genius!)

Don't apologise for it being R&J Belinda, I think when my DS was crying at that age I would have tried anything to get some sleep and actually the technique you posted seems very good.

Don't get too hung up on everything sorting itself at 6 weeks, as babies are all different. Our low point was 8 weeks, and our days didn't really improve much till 3.5 months. I was in despair when we got past 6 weeks and things were getting worse, not better.

The Harvey Karp thing is good. Get a sling - saved my sanity. If in doubt, feed him.

Congratulations and keep going - it does get easier.

mmme not sure 6 weeks maybe 3 mnths?