Sleep problems with 9 year old daughter

[EllieKirby]

My daughter has been having difficulty getting to sleep for several months because she says she is scared. We have tried everything from story tapes to lavendar drops on her pillow and whilst she does go off after a while she is waking in the night terrified and either waking up the whole house or coming into our bed. I dont really want to resort to doctors at this time. Anybody had a similar problem?

Oh dear how difficult. Can you pinpoint any cause - did anything traumatic happen in your family around the time this started? What does she do before bed?

She has had a difficult few years, her dad and I divorced and I am now remarried to a lovely man who sees all 3 of my children as his own and my daughter really loves him. My nan died last year who she was very close to and it started around that time. Because she is the youngest she is first up to bed which she hates because she doesnt like going up alone but I need to be fair to my older two, they have earnt the right to stay up a little longer. I obviously reassure her but I am not sure if she just wants attention or is genuinely insecure. She and I spend lots of time together. I dont think the GP could really help?

Does she know what she is scared of? Our DD still has a nightlight and she is 9.4. Ours says she is scared of the cats next door coming in and smothering her while she sleeps (amongst other barmy reasons), the night light reassures her. We unplug it when we go to bed.

I think like all sleep habits it's become ingrained now. It could be that she wants attention because she is insecure iyswim. That's not your fault or anybody's fault - it's just how it is - you haven't done anything wrong. It sounds like she doesn't like being alone upstairs - could you redo her room to em=liminate anything she find s scary - the dark really changes the look of things.

Our dd went through the same sort of problem. All last year she had a tape on cos she didn't like the quiet and we had to pop up every 30 mins to check on her which helped reassure her.

Over the summer she's dropped the tape and is sleeping better but now is terrified that something bad will happen to us and won't let us out of her sight.

radio?

Yes I wonder if the radio would help - better than story tapes maybe as just a blur of comforting noise?

classic fm should put to sleep

Thanks for all the advice. We have tried the radio too and she always has a light on low. I think its something she is just going to grow out of (one day hopefully).

My 8 year old daughter has slept well for the lat 4yrs or so, shes always had a few odd routeens she had to go through but always slept on her own in the dark all night, untill 4wks ago!! now she screams and yells when i tuck her in and that can go on for hours, i did try staying in there with her and that helped but it took hours and i know its not a good idea, even if she does go to sleep before 11pm shes up 3hrs max later and it starts all over. Nothing has changed at school or home and im at my witts end, im exhausted as is my partner and older daughter. she cant or wont explain why she wont or cant sleep, does any one have any ideas? please

I wonder if you have tried sitting down and talking about what she is feeling. Getting her to express her emotions. It is possible that there are underlying emotions that she does not even realise she is experiencing. If she can't or won't express herself maybe you could try asking her to find a piece of music that helps to express the way she is feeling, or even to try and draw it. Anything that starts a conversation in a fun way can help her to start to recognise what is happening inside.