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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Playdates...does Mum entertain or leave them to it

20 replies

Anenome · 25/09/2010 13:20

I'm just wondering how much effort other parents make to entertain/arrange fun activities for their DC's when their frieds come over? My DD is 6 and up until now I have made sure there's some extra craft stuff available for her and her friend to do when they come over.

I get the impression when talking to friends that they don't do anything extra but leave the kids to get on with it.

My DD's little friend has just arrived and I'm having an experiment to see if they can play together without me bustling around and getting all manner of crap out for them to make a mess with.
What do you do and how old are the DC's?

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peggotty · 25/09/2010 13:23

I leave them completely alone unless they are obviously not playing well (i.e leaving me in peace ), then I might give them some colouring etc to do. My dd is 5.5. I don't think children of that age need you to provide things for them to do...

Earlybird · 25/09/2010 13:24

Leave them to it.

Make a few suggestions if they seem 'stuck' for ideas, but help only if what they choose requires your assistance (and you certainly are entitled to tell them to think of something else to do if what they choose is too messy/too much trouble, etc).

Flowergarden1 · 25/09/2010 21:41

Slightly depends on which child is coming to play (i.e. how potentially destructive they are) but usually just leave them to it.

activate · 25/09/2010 21:43

leave them to it

CristinaTheAstonishing · 25/09/2010 21:45

Older than 5, leave them to it. If younger may need extra attention.

TimothyTigerTuppennyTail · 25/09/2010 21:47

Leave them. Occasionally shout up the stairs to see if anyone wants a drink, but don't get too close. I got whacked by a lightsaber the other day.

Sinkingfeeling · 25/09/2010 21:51

I leave them to it, and referee if there are disputes between any of them (I have three dc, but usually only invite 1 child on playdate). A friend who's a teacher though, does amazing craft activities or cooking when her dc have playdates. I'm too lazy for that.

TheFoosa · 25/09/2010 21:54

what's the point of a playdate if you have to join in?

lifesucks · 25/09/2010 21:55

i leave them to it.

taffetacat · 25/09/2010 21:56

I leave DD to it and she's 4. I think its important that they find things to do themselves with the myriad of toys and facilities we have in our establishment.

My DD has a friend who often comes up to me during her visits and says " What are we doing now, Mrs Taffeta?". Her mum organises her activities much more than I do my DD's. I say " You go and have a chat with DD and decide between you what you should do next." DD will then decide on something and they'll go off and do it.

Mostly they make potion in the garden. Occasionally I have to get the play doh out.Craft and cooking I do on my own with DD and her big bro, not when they have friends over.

ThingOne · 25/09/2010 22:00

Leave them too it!

From much younger than six ;).

Acinonyx · 25/09/2010 22:33

Dd is 5 and I leave them to it. I feed them occaisionally. Sometimes I wander up to see what's happening - especially if they have been suspiciously quiet (mess and disorder are inversely proportional to noise levels ). I might occaisionally make a suggestion if I feel inspired.

Potions are very popular here too. I lost some very nice long-cherished perfumes to this game.

taffetacat · 26/09/2010 20:30

acinonyx - sorry to hear about your potion losses, I feel your pain. I lost all the flowers on one of my enormous pink sedums a week ago. lol at noise/mess/noise equation.

Hulababy · 26/09/2010 20:36

I have almost always left DD and her frinds to their own devices to play, right from her starting school aged 4y.

That is the main reason I have "playdates" - so DD is entertained and having fun, leaving me free to do my own stuff occasionally too.

Clary · 27/09/2010 00:21

When mine were younger I used to make sure there was something in reserve as some DC are not so great as others IYSWIM.

Eg I would offer (if needed as in "what can we do nowwwww????") decorating biscuits/some specific craft/making cards/baking etc.

But now they are 11/9/7 it's rare that anything is needed. Especially if it's nice and they can go and play out

cat64 · 27/09/2010 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsGravy · 27/09/2010 10:25

I always try and leave them to it. But it doesn't always work out unfortunately. DS always wants to play with his big sis and her friend and the three of them will often argue or fight over toys. So I limit playdates for now - will wait until they are more mature. But when I do have them I keep some sort of activity in reserve in case they all start fighting.

neverenoughMEtime · 27/09/2010 14:41

I wondered about this too! I set one activity out incase they get fed up and they have to entertain themselves the rest of the time. One little friend who comes here is always coming to me asking what they are going to do next...her mum sits and plays with her DD and mine for a whole 3 hour playdate Wow, i bet my DD thinks im really mean! No way, i couldn't think of anything worse than sitting with them for 3 hours playing......

Acinonyx · 27/09/2010 17:40

You think that's mean - if the dc can't play together without me guiding them - I don't invite them back. Some combinations of dc play together better than others.

Original poster

Anenome · 27/09/2010 19:43

Yes neverenough

That's why I asked really...there is one particular child who is always wandering in and asking me what's next!

The other kids who come don't do that...I think it could be that the particular child spends a lot of time in after school club where there is lot's of organised avtivity...she has spent loads of time with childminders and in nursery...so she's not very used to just hanging around and playing what she wants.

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