9 months separation anxiety/sleep

[Jenmumof3]

My 9 month old slept 12 hours a night and I thought we had it all worked out but a month ago he suddenly started getting separation anxiety and so when he wakes in the night he freaks completely if I'm not there instead of settling himself back to sleep. I'm in with him 3 or 4 times a night now. Any advice gratefully recieved

We are in the same boat but ours is 11 months and has never slept through very well.
MW keep telling me we must work it out before its too late and we musnt keep picking her up. Easier said than done! I really want to get her sleeping through the night asap and so does OH but when you are constatly woken sveeral times a night and are already tired its really hard work having to go through it all.

You could also try leaving a piece of cloth or a soft toy which has a familiar smell on it of you or the home. iykwim?

Nightmare!
She is crying atm for me to go in and I am resisting!

Sounds like the 8/9 month sleep regression to me.

It's due to a big developmental spurt when their brains are working hard on understanding sequences (although it starts with a previous developmental spurt when they're learning to categorise things). Many babies simply can't stay asleep, no matter what you do. Sleep training at this sort of age is generally futile.

Babies who weren't very good sleepers before the regression often take longer to get over it.

Working on new physical skills e.g. crawling or pulling up also make it worse.

More info here, here and here.

I'd do whatever it takes to get everyone as much sleep as possible. If she was a good sleeper before, she'll probably go back to being a good sleeper again once the spurt is past.

I'm a bit myself at the sleeping for 12 hours beforehand!

Teeth teeth and more teeth. I am convinced off it. My little boy was exactly the same. SOme nights I would only get two hours sleep if I was lucky and he wouldn't sleep during the day either. Things got a bit better at about a year and then when he was walking even better but we then had months of 5:30am starts (which seems common so brace yourself) He finally started sleeping better at age 2(and a bit) when the teething calmed down. He is now up to his old tricks again and even tho he sleeps thru it has just taken over two hours to get him into bed as he just will NOT relax and hes really clingy. I firmly believe this is because he's getting his molars thru. I have never ever done anything differently. I have followed the same routine every day for 2 1/2 years and some nights he's fine and others he's not. Try everything you can to survive but don't worry it will pass eventually. What you will need to do is get a break at some point or you will go spare! Hand him over to gparents etc.and get a night off.He's bound to sleep thru for them:o

I wanted to ask in this post, before starting a new one, if what we are experiencing is related to the "8-month sleep regression". Our son starts arching his back and crying or lightly whining a few hours after he's gone to sleep. I go up and breastfeed him, but although he'll go to sleep in my arms, he starts whining in his sleep when I try to put him in his cot. We have always used infant Gaviscon just before his bedtime feed because he's had reflux since Day 1. Lately we tried infacol thinking it might be wind. We really don't know what is going on. If we turn on the light, he wakes up and is generally happy, it's like Jekyll and Hyde - surely if it were a physical pain it would be present when he's awake as well as asleep?

Feel like we are going crazy. I think a bit of sleep would be nice. He kept us up all night last night and really seemed to be in some sort of abdominal pain but could not get comfortable in any position.

Sorry, meant to say our son turned 8 months old a week ago. He was a week overdue, but was a huge baby and has always been right on target or ahead of developmental targets.

Jo, Acid relux can get worse when they are lying down, maybe that's why he is like that when asleep/in bed?
My daughter has had a lot of problems with allergies and eczema and I know she got into some bad habits. Every time she wanted picking up she would start scratching herself furiously, then when picked up she would stop and start smiling. That was her way of getting our attention. If they are in real pain they tend to carry on crying when picked up and its more of an urgent cry.
I too would love a whole nights sleep - that would be awesome!
Could you try giving him a bit of cooled boiled water with a bit of brown sugar in it as that tends help with any constipation.
My daughter only has two teeth which came through at nine months, since then nothing and I dont get the impression its her teeth at the moment.

Thanks so much for all the tips - makes me feel like I'm not struggling alone. I love the idea that he's regressing because he's progressing. We've had him on the floor next to our bed for the last two nights and held hands, well fingers, with him when he woke up. Not ideal long term but I'm following everyone's advice to put survival first!

Jo, don't know about reflux, I'm afraid.

Someone on here was saying that if the problem is with teeth, it shouldn't last more than 8 nights. FWIW, I've not had more than a couple of nights' disturbance per tooth and DS has 7 through so far, but babies do respond differently to new teeth.

My DS is just hitting the regression now, so heartfelt sympathies to everyone else! I've ditched most of what I was doing before and am on survival mode. At least then I'm not stressing about trying to improve the situation when I can't.

Is this normal/typical? My son is really clingy now and thinks he can't sleep unless I'm in the room! He used to sleep 8:30-10 am every day, with me. I've been rather insomniac because of some medication I'm on so I would catch up while he took his morning nap. Today I sneaked away to have a shower because I am expecting visitors. DS woke up after 20 minutes. Unheard of. What can I do? We were trying to go from 3 naps to 2... but also trying to get myself on something like a normal sleep routine. I can't just stay in the room each time he takes a nap.... can I? What does everyone else do?