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ADHD or normal toddler behaviour??

16 replies

tostaky · 24/09/2010 17:00

For the last week or so... DS1 has had tantrums on a scale unknown to me.... He is two in November.
Not sure if this is the "terrible two's" or something more serious

example:
he was playing nicely with a toy train while having his hair cut and as we had to leave he had a meltdown because he didnt want to leave the train, even though the hairdresser gave him a baloon and a sweet. So ive got to hold him (and it is difficult bc he wants to escape + i have DS2 in the pushchair) to get out of the shop and he screams, screams scream and stop because he sees a bus. so we watch the bus and he wants to go on it. no sorry, you cant. cue more screaming/rolling on the pavement. I manage to calm him a little bit and we arrive at the car. i try to put him in the car seat but he screams SCREAMS SCREAMS. I try to tell him to stop but he probably cant hear what im saying. I manage to fastened the belt and put DS2 in his car seat. Then DS1 still howling, bending over his car seat slaps DS2, i tell him not too. Still screaming. He does it again. I slap his lap. Still screaming. I take him out of the car, onto the pavement - tell him off. he calms down. As soon as we are in the car the battles start again. I tell him he will get another slap if he doesnt stop. Somehow he calms down a little bit, still crying loudly but at least no screaming. when we arrive home (10 mins later) he still cries a bit but he has calmed down. I tell him to say sorry to DS2 and to me, and to kiss us to make up. he does after 15 mins, still crying. and then he really looks very sorry and we have a cuddle and i tell him that when he has a tantrum, he makes everybody sad around him and when he is happy evereybody is happy and the rest of the day is ok (only because i confiscated all his toy cars and reminded him about it everytime he was about to throw a tantrum)

so what do u think... normal for an almost 2 years old???

OP posts:
withorwithoutyou · 24/09/2010 17:02

Yes, normal.

Unfortunately.

dinkystinky · 24/09/2010 17:02

Yep, sounds normal to me. DS2 is 18 months and very much like this...

ppeatfruit · 24/09/2010 17:07

Yes normal for some DS'S, they forget that they can talk and are too young to control their feelings; try not to be confrontational he's not being like that to annoy you. If you slap him he will learn by example.

tostaky · 24/09/2010 17:10

Normal really?????

How do mums of twins cope then?

i cant even begin to imagine....

OP posts:
dinkystinky · 24/09/2010 17:24

Tostaky - if its any consolation, DS1 was a really chilled toddler who v rarely did this: DS2 (and all his little mates) are exactly the same and tantrum away at the drop of a hat.

snowmummy · 24/09/2010 18:11

Entirely normal behaviour IME

MadameSin · 24/09/2010 19:27

Well, my ds2 who is dx with ADHD never had tantrums, so I guess you could say this is perfectly 'normal' behaviour Grin

LynetteScavo · 24/09/2010 19:34

Oh, so normal.

you've just reminded me why I don't want another child. I so don't want to go trough all that again!

mrtumblewhereareyou · 25/09/2010 07:49

Some things you could try for this 2s stage:
distraction so underated but really a good tool... when you see things could kick off distract him ie "Oh my goodness lets go and X Y or Z and make it the most exciting activerty on earth.
Using a very quiet voice sometimes can help if a child is shouty as they will copy you.

Ignore negative behaviour where possible walk away and remove yourself from him.
Use the ignoring with copieous amounts of praise as praise is such a useful tool.

Also make it specific ie "I love the way you just helped me with X well done"

If he starts hitting kicking etc (again normal behaviour at this age) you could try saying NO hitting it hurts then walk away and ignore him/play with your other child who is being good.

You could try time out but only as a last resort(I hate calling this the naughty step/chair etc) this must be done consistantly and if you use it and your child resists then you must put him back until he stays (this could take 100 goes)

Also be consitant if you say no stick to it.

Last top tip pick your battles some things are worth insisting on but others are not.
HTH :)

Supercherry · 25/09/2010 08:02

Very normal, but tiring! Ignore the tantrums, which is easier said than done, but becomes easier with practise.

If he slaps say firmly we do not slap. If this doesn't work consider 'time out'. It worked well on my 2yr old.

Don't then slap yourself- think how contradictory this is. You are saying to your son, it is naughty when you slap but I am allowed to slap. Confusing. It's also ineffective.

alannabanana · 25/09/2010 08:05

was reading this with interest as my DS (2 in dec) is getting to be exactly like this, sadly. some great suggestions mrtumble.
its weird isn't it, he was a cutie little baby a minute ago and now have to use all my strength to retrain him just to put a nappy on at bedtime. ho hum.

mrtumblewhereareyou · 25/09/2010 12:33

alannabanana it is all based on development they are discovering more about the world and are gaining some need for independance .. so they test the boundries... it is interesting and he will still be a cutie just a cutie toddler :)

alannabanana · 25/09/2010 13:54

you are very wise mrtumble - must be all that sign language. in fact i can hear him testing the boundaries with daddy now, better lend a reluctant hand!

Latootle · 30/09/2010 16:54

i found total distraction worked. Screaming anywhere can be stopped at times by looking for the pink mouse green elephant etc....some times its on top of their head and so on. good luck

cory · 30/09/2010 17:10

Distraction never worked with dd. If you have a truly dramatic child they just become unreachable. Though at least you only seem to be getting the screaming, OP. We had the full works: screaming, kicking, biting.

Octaviapink · 30/09/2010 17:34

FWIW I would try to avoid slapping him - you mention you did it twice, but then told him off for slapping his sibling. You need to be consistent - either hitting others is ok or it isn't.

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