2 yr old hates other children

[kampa]

Hi,

My 2.2 yr old son really dislikes other kids his age. If another child is anywhere near him in the playground he will shout at them to 'go away!' or even shout 'No!' at another child who passes by him when we are walking outside.

He has been going to a playgroup once a week for ages and he's ok there unless another child actually wants to play in the same area with him and he will scream at them if they pick up a toy near him (even if he's not playing with it). I'm not expecting him to share or even play 'with' other children, just tollerate their presence.

He actually used to be really friendly and sociable with other kids up to about 21 months old when this kind of thing started. He's okay with babies and older children and he's usually not physically aggressive. I can't think of anything in particular that's happened to bring this on. I guess it's probably obvious he doesn't have siblings and doesn't go to nursery.

I'm quite upset today because I invited a friend round who has a daughter his age (thinking one-to-one home-environment play might help), but he spent the whole hour shouting at her to "go away" and had a breakdown when she tried to play with anything or read any of his books. He even shouted at her, "not girl say it!", every time she spoke (poor thing). I imagine they'll never come round again

What can I do to help him get over this?

Sounds difficult for you and him! Any chance it could be a sensory defence mechanism? Some kids just find noise or people being too close to them distressing and anxiety provoking so will take preventive defensive action. If you think this might be the case google sensory processing disorder or search the archives.

Kampa, I sympathise, my lovely outgoing DS is the same age and has suddenly started doing the same thing, refusing to share, playing on his own etc. I've been reassured by a lot of parents that it's just a phase and will pass.

So now I just repeat over and over in my head - it's just a phase.....

It it just a phase. I would probably just ignore it. Any hint of sharing or friendliness to another child should be met with huge amounts of praise.

I always found my toddler behaved better on neutral territory (park) or in other friend's homes. My DS would hit and snatch, still does occassionally at 2.7yrs, and I use time out for that which seems to work.

They are learning to socialise at this age aren't they and it can feel like a solw process sometimes?

I'm sure your friend wont hold your toddler's behaviour against you. It's not like he did anything physical. Share your concerns with your friend nd if she is a real friend she will put your mind at rest.

My DS was the same and he has an older sister so the only child thing doesn't necessarily mean much! If another child came over to play with him he would shout "No! Go away boy/girl". The sharing with strangers thing seemed crazy to him even though he shared with his sister pretty well. Anyway after a year of nursery he was much better and he doesn't do it much now (he is 3.8). He still does it at the park sometimes. I don't make a big deal of it, I just say the other little boy girl wants to use the slide too, the park is for everyone and we must share.

Don't worry too much he will grow out of it, he is only little :)

Thanks so much for all your reassurances

ohmeohmy: I looked up sensory processing disorder and I don't think he has that because this issue is totally isolated to situations with other children.

ScroobiousPip: It is so strange and difficult, isn't it, when he has such a change in behaviour?

I have been worried that it is more than just a phase since this has been going on for a few months now. But I guess things can take a while to pass sometimes. I will be encouraging and praising with any positive social interaction he does have and seek out less stressful socialising opportunities for him (rather than have kids come over to play with his toys!).

It's not in my nature not to worry (!) but, I'll try to relax about it and hope he gets over it - or at least finds things a bit easier - before nursery next year.

"not girl say it" sorry but lol..sounds like my 2 and a half year old...she is so bossy! But I don't think you need worry...it's a phase and will pass. Some children love the company of others...your doesn't yet...that's ok.

Hi kampa I know this is an old thread but just wanted to know how is your son doing now? My 2 year old son behaves same as you have described, he screams if other children come across him and strat crying. Does not want to get along with any kids. But he has no problem with any adult even if it’s stranger for him.
thanks

I did an advanced search and it would appear that her DS was diagnosed with ASD in 2013 @kampa

@Mohit1234 er what??

@Mohit1234 you asked the original poster for an update. It has been 13 years since they posted. I thought I would see if they had updated elsewhere later, as is very often the case - and they had, here on page 2 confirming an ASD diagnosis: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/1669092-Tell-me-something-positive-and-wonderful-about-your-autistic-child?page=2&reply=36889982 I actually don't understand what your reply means. I think something is getting lost in translation.

@Lemebe can you update x

Hi mom,
I was so surprised to see someone write the exact same things I go through with my two yr two month old boy. He has no other problems at all with older or elder people, the problem is only with kids. He hates their sound or more like he can't stand the sight of other kids. He cries and cries till they are out of their sight. He makes sure no other kids are around him or tries to even approach him. If he hears a sound of any other kids or babies voice or scream or even their normal talks he cries and makes them go away. It's going on for like months that i am wondering if it is nature or something. I have not met any other mother's who can relate to me until I saw this post online. Pls help with suggestions if possible. It's so stressful at times to watch him cry his eyes out around kids. Hope u and ur son are doing well.
Much love,
Jeremymom

Even my two year old son is okay with all adults. He is such a good boy around adults but if there is one kid around him he cries and screams and pull my hair. I am really worried. What should be done to make them better. Pls any tips are welcome. Hope u and ur son are doing good!