2yr old playing up at bedtime

[dannid]

We have recently returned from our honeymoon, during which time my ds stayed for 10 nights with his grandparents. Both my mother and my MIL said he was an angel while we were away and they had no problems but since coming home we have had endless problems with him going to bed.

Up until recently he has been the perfect child at bedtime - sleeps in the dark, for 12 hrs every night, only waking occasionally if poorly.

It started with him saying his room was too dark, it then became that he has a headache and needs his head to be rubbed, then he needs to go to toilet, then he's scared of monsters...pretty much anything he can think of - and the whole time he is crying hysterically!! It is so upsetting to see and I am trying to reassure him (I have put a small bedside light in his room and checked cupboards for monsters etc.)

Tonight it 2 hours for him to fall asleep...and he was sobbing the whole time! I tried conforting him, threatening to not take time to see Thomas the tank next week at the cinema if he wasn't a good boy...but am feeling at my wits end and can rapidly feel my patience going. Part of me thinks he is doing it to see what he can get away with...another part of me hates the thought of him being scared...the other part of me doesn't want to set a precedent for having to rub his head every night till he falls asleep or have him come into our bed every night.

Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated!

I think this is a phase as it was the exact same with DS1. It was just any excuse - blanket is too hot, too cold, want more pillows, more water, another teddy, another story etc etc. It didn't help that we moved him to a bed and he could walk out of his room and come to the living room.

It calmed down after a couple of months just by us being consistent. If he was desperately crying we would rub his back etc, but otherwise just kept putting him back in bed, or staying in his doorway until he fell asleep again. He occasionally comes into our room when he wakes up from a nightmare, but we put him back and if he's really scared one of us will sleep on floor next to him until he falls asleep. This is much better than getting a habit of sleeping in our bed I think.

A lot of my friends started having bedtime battles with otherwise good sleepers between the ages of 2 and 3. So you're definitely not alone.

Thanks Suzihaha. Its good to hear that we're not the only ones. He doesn't ever actually get out of his bed (which I find strange...but is one less thing to worry about!!)...just sits in there sobbing until he starts coughing and spluttering, which is then another reason he uses for not being able to sleep!!

I think part of me is feeling a little bit guilty for leaving him while we went on honeymoon (although it is the first and ony time we would ever have done it!) and is wondering whether this has what has caused the problem?!?!

I hate to think of him being scared and upset but am trying my best to be consistent and not stay in his room till he falls asleep...really don't want him to become reliant on that.

dannid if he's tired he'll fall asleep quickly enough esp. if he's reassured by you being there and holding his hand. Historically humans have always slept with their DCs it's not a big deal IMO.

Ds is also 2 and went through a terrible phase just before his baby sister was born. He has improved a lot but still has the odd night where he messes around.

Does your ds nap in the day? We have found that ours is a lot better since we cut his nap down to an hr a day instead of letting him sleep 2hrs. He usually only has a nap every couple of days now. The other thing that works quite often is to tell him if he waits in bed and doesnt get out I will pop back in 10mins to see him, usually he's asleep by the time I go back and if not I repeat until he is asleep!!

Could you try a reward chart? We have stickers and sad faces-the stickers lead to a reward and he hates getting a sad face.

Other thing we've done is give him a torch by his bed so he can turn it on when he wants in the night. I usually give him a book and his torch on when I first leave him and tell him he can read for a bit as long as he stays in bed (obv.he cant read but looks at the pictures). Seems to give him a bit more reassurance.....and we leave the door open.

Sounds like loads now its written down, but we were having big problems!