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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Am sick of people thinking DD is a boy ....

25 replies

ghosty · 05/09/2005 22:34

Unless I dress her in head to toe Pink people assume she is a boy and it bugs me. I don't think she looks like a boy ... ok, she is a tubby toddler and is tall and she is seriously follicly challenged compared to her little friends who all have beautiful tresses but she is only 19 months fgs ... give her a chance!
The other day she was dressed in jeans and a pink sweatshirt that said 'GIRL' across the front and this old lady came up to us and said,
"Oh, will you look at those big brown eyes ... they are to die for aren't they?"
I smiled and looked proud and the lady obviously noted that I have green eyes so she said, "I bet he looks like his dad does he?"
GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
"Yes, SHE does look like HER dad actually!"
"Oh, it's a girl? Silly me, Brian, will you look .... it's a girl!"

In the supermarket she was wearing lilac trousers with flowers on them, a navy blue top with flowers on it and this other stupid woman went on about how beautiful HE was ... and then she said, "Ooops, it's a girl ... she's wearing pink socks!"

I can't dress her in pink all the time, I don't like pink and anyway, she has red hair so pink isn't her best colour ....

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Rubineski · 05/09/2005 22:39

Interesting - my DS is a red head too. And gets mistaken for a girl on a daily basis. Probably not helped by the fact that his hair is curly too and I hate getting it cut (it's not long, just long enough to show the curls).

I just think people don't look very closely at children when they see them. TBH I sometimes make the mistake with other kids, because I'm being lazy and not looking at them, and probably just basing my quick opinion on stereotypical images in my own head.

But i understand how frustrating it can be. Especially if people are making the effort to make a comment, they could also just make the effort to look properly!

mumtosomeone · 05/09/2005 22:44

when a lady says it to you, say 'say thank you to the nice man for calling you a boy!!!'

Lonelymum · 05/09/2005 22:47

I can feel your frustration. My dd had hair down her neck when she was born and wore hairclips at about 4 months. However, every single one of my three boys has at some time or another been taken for a girl (and not when they were at that androgynous young baby stage either.) It was always a sign to me to go and get their hair cut!

starlover · 05/09/2005 22:48

i get it the other way round

ds sat in his pram wearing a blue and grey stripey top and navy cord dungarees

"oh isn't she lovely!"

old people are just weird!

Britabroad · 06/09/2005 08:22

HI Ghosty, I used to get that all the time. They expect girls to have flowing locks at 1 year! DD is now 7 and is very much a girl!!! Love to catch up some time. X

anniebear · 06/09/2005 19:33

I have girl twins and when they were bables I always got "Girl and a boy"?

They were often dressed in pink but just because one was a little bigger than the other, they presumed she was a boy???????

loupylou · 06/09/2005 20:01

My dd is regularly called a boy, despite being dressed in pink 99% of the time, and being tiny and petite. It does lessen as they get older. So there's hope out there. Bite your tongue and remember she's your precious little girl.

CheekyGirl · 06/09/2005 20:26

Yes, i get this too with my 8mth ds. He has grown some rather delightful(imo) dark brown curls which are getting quite longish over his ears. I always get people saying 'isn't she lovely' and then when I point out that HE is a boy, they always say 'oh, it's the hair, I thought it was a girl!'. I really don't want to cut his curls at only 8mths old!!

expatkat · 06/09/2005 20:31

Dd was the same at the age, Ghosty. . .I hated this look, but I used to tie her spare-ish hair in a small broomstick-like ponytail, just to give the picture that SHE'S A GIRL. That's a practical solution anyway. Otherwise just ignore it. . .in a year's time no one will make that mistake.

Mum2girls · 06/09/2005 20:35

People still thought my DD1 was a boy at age two and a half.

I don't really understand why you get upset, it honestly never bothered me - I was quite happy that she was drawing attention for being an attractive child (albeit a male one!) and just laughed it off.

Have made the same mistake myself tbh.

Posey · 06/09/2005 20:35

Don't get his hair cut! My ds is 2.8 and I haven't had his gorgeous blond curls cut as I'm scared they'll all disappear! (Actually ds point blank refuses to get it cut and I don't believe in pinning him down to do it). He also is very in touch with his feminine side and loves to carry or wear his sister's pink or purple stuff.
So, not surprising he gets mistaken for a girl from time to time. People also say its his big blue eyes that make him look girly. Don't boys have them?

coppertop · 06/09/2005 20:40

Ds1 had big blonde curls and people were always telling me he looked like a girl. When his curls were eventually cut off (not because of the comments, I should add) the same people were forever telling me "It's such a shame he hasn't got his curls anymore." You really can't win.

Poor ds2 (2.6yrs) is always being told "But you're far too pretty to be a boy!" It's enough to give the poor child a complex.

SoupDragon · 06/09/2005 20:46

Order a few tasteless frilly OTT dresses and doll her up like one of those US beauty pageant children complete with make up and jewellery.

That'll sort it.

hunkermunker · 06/09/2005 20:46

DS has curls - he's had his hair cut four times in 17 months (first time at about ten months because he was getting cross with the curls tickling inside his ears!).

He's always being mistaken for a beautiful girl, however much blue I dress him in. Might try putting a dress on him and seeing if people think he's a boy!

ThePrisoner · 06/09/2005 22:33

I had my identical twin dds in dresses sitting in pram and got the, "oh, aren't you lucky, one of each ..."

Eldest dd (now 21) wears boyish clothes and has shortish hair, but has a bosom to rival that of Jordan - and still gets called "lad".

blueteddy · 06/09/2005 22:36

Both my ds's have been mistaken for girls as babies!
When we were on a flight back from the States, one of the stewerdesses called him princess!!!

TinyGang · 06/09/2005 22:54

Old ladies are always getting things like that wrong. I just nod and smile an say 'oh, yes..that's right' a lot and they trundle off.

Original poster

ghosty · 06/09/2005 23:16

Soupy ... I like that ... I will dress her up like that and see what happens ... she will look silly though ... ho hum!!
Mum2girls ... I am not really UPSET ... just a bit 'ggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' about it ...
I will definitely try the 'Oh say thank you to the nice man for saying you are beautiful!'

OP posts:

TwinSetAndPearls · 07/09/2005 00:32

Everyone used to think that dd was a boy when she was a baby/toddler.

We were once in Marks and spencer and an old couple came up to us and congratulated me on my handsome boy. Dd had on a pink smocked dress and pink shoes with cream tights at the time. I replied in a very polite voice that dd was a girl and called Grace, to which the lady said to her husband " Come and look at this cute lad, his name is Ray"

It is even worse when the child is old enough to understand and therefore gets upset when she is being called a boy. Dd hacked away at her hair last year so had to have a cropped cut, I loved it, had a touch of Mia Farrow about it. But she was always being mistaken for a boy and dd used to get really angry.

colditz · 07/09/2005 00:37

PMSL at this thread. Was in town today and someone told me how beautiful my daughter was, a typical girly girl.... dS was wearing a yellow T-shirt with footballs on, jeans and big blue size 7 dinosaur boots

Flum · 07/09/2005 00:39

Everyone thought I was a boy when I was a littly. But now I am a stunningly beautiful woman.

Don't worry, her day will come!

Vaunda · 07/09/2005 08:24

ohhh i remember it well had same prob with DS he was always being mistaken for a girl even thought he was in jeans and blue from birth lol.had many people exclaim OHHH it is a boy when i told them... i was like ffs can't you see the obvious.
their reason well he is so blonde and has stunning eyes and look at those eyelashes so long and beautiful..... Right so long eyelashes mena girl???
when he got a bit older people thought he was a girl when i let his hair grow.. not long just the fact he has a head full of curls hence the reason that now he has his hair shaved lol he hates them. He has a girly face because he is my double.

Twiglett · 07/09/2005 08:37

a wig?

alexsmum · 07/09/2005 09:10

I constantly got this with ds2.Practically everyone thought he was a girl!! well, old ladies in shops anyway! he had madly curly blonde hair and they would always comment on 'her' beautiful hair and I would say ' yes he looks lovely doesn't he' to which they would invariably reply' oh he's a boy-what a waste!' which used to really get my goat!!!!!! I used to dress him in boys clothes and everything! odd.

Vaunda · 08/09/2005 07:53

Alexsmum, I know exactly how you feel. Mind you as i say DS is 7 now and hates having curly hair.

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