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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

As easy as riding a bike?

26 replies

nicejewishgirl · 22/09/2010 14:38

Hi,
Wonder if anyone has any thoughts on this. Any advice appreciated. My DS is nearly 6. He has always struggled with practical things. We started him on a trike at 2. He never even learned to pedal it, despite lots of encouragement.
I bought him a bike last year but he never learned to ride it properly either. He did master pedalling, but that was it. Now he has grown out of that bike, so I got him a really smart new one to try to encourage him. It's really hard going. He finds it so difficult. He needs stabilisers but even with those he can't ride it. He always asks me to grab the handlebars to help him. He doesn't seem to put much effort in either. I see younger kids without stabilisers, confidently pedalling away, so I worry!
He's very bright with a reading age of nearly 9. I get so frustrated with him and then I feel terrible. He also finds learning a ride a scooter difficult but he is making slow progress with this.

OP posts:

marge2 · 22/09/2010 14:48

I would say you/he just need to be patient and he will do it when he's good and ready. What about those balance bikes - that will help him get the balance without having to worry about pedalling. He's only 5 - plenty of kids don't learn to ride a bike till way later than that!
My two both found pedalling very tiring on the legs till the muscles built up. Have you checked that the pedals aren't a bit stiff and hard to push? That happened with one bike we had.

MaMoTTaT · 22/09/2010 14:49

my oldest 2 DS's didn't learn to ride a bike until they were 9 and 6 respectively!

Habbibu · 22/09/2010 14:51

yy to balance bike - they learn to balance quickly, and get the fun of a bike without having to master 2 skills at once.

That said, most balance bikes are for younger children - dd is 4 and has outgrown hers now, pretty much. Try taking both pedals and stabilisers off and encourage him to scoot along with his feet.

Original poster

nicejewishgirl · 22/09/2010 18:07

Hi,
Thanks for your suggestions-I really wish I'd got him a balance bike a couple of years ago. I've never heard of them before.
I'm going to try to find one big enough for him. Some of them do go up to 6 years and he is quite small for his age. I've just seen some cool looking motorbike style ones on the internet so just need to sell the idea to DS!

OP posts:

Suzyinwonderland · 22/09/2010 18:22

My DD is nearly 4 and i've only seen her ride her bike once and that was literally for 10 seconds.

My DD may have ASD and apparently this is a symptom. Obviously not suggesting that's what this is. From the other posts it sounds quite common not to be able to ride a bike until later on. Just out of interest though, does he concern you in any other way? I know you said he had a reading age of 9 which must make you proud. :)

LittleCheesyPineappleOne · 22/09/2010 18:27

We tried and failed with a balance bike too, DS will be six next month, and no luck so far. Will keep trying. It's very frustrating seeing younger children whizz about him, but he just lacks the coordination and patience I think.

ANTagony · 22/09/2010 18:30

Balance bike = bike with no pedals. Can you just remove the pedals they come off most bikes.

alardi · 22/09/2010 18:30

5yo is a very average age to learn to ride without stabilisers... but that means that lots of children learn to ride much later.

I would persevere with the too small bike, keep the pedals but put the seat down as low as you dare and encourage him to scoot around on that to learn to balance and steer. Once he masters pedaling on the too small bike he will be ready to manage the bigger bike.

GrimmaTheNome · 22/09/2010 18:42

I'd have said 5 was below average age to ride without stabilisers.

Don't forget that while you may notice younger kids whizzing around, by definition you dont see all the many old ones who can't yet.

This is me looking through the retrospectroscope - I worried when DD seemed slow to get the hang of cycling. But she did get it eventually and now is a very capable cyclist. I realised that it was probably not wise to push her on activities at the youngest age possible - if your child isn't happy to cycle at 5, just leave it till 7; if watersports seem likely to stress them at 8 then for goodness sakes leave it till they are 10 or 11 or older (forever, if they are never likely to enjoy it)

pranma · 22/09/2010 20:53

dgs just had his 4th birthday and got a bike with stabilisers.He had had a balance bike since 2 and a half and has taken to new bike at once pedalling,steering etc.Thanks to balance bike I think stabilisers will be off soon.

zam72 · 22/09/2010 21:56

My DS1 is the exact same (albeit without the stellar reading ability!). Couldn't get the hang of a trike, still actually can't pedal the trikes confidently at farm places or wherever (he turned 5 this summer). 5th birthday we got him a bike (everyone else seemed to have them!) and he's been on it maybe 4-6 times for 5 mins each. He can pedal and it does move slowly. But I think the problem is he just doesn't have the strength in his legs. He's got weebly little legs and is one of the smallest in his year - so that doesn't help. I got him an aluminium bike that was supposedly one of the lightest ones - but to no avail. I've thought about converting it to a balance bike - but I do wonder whether his co-ordination and confidence are really up to it at the moment. Personally I got my first bike at 9 and it was 'easy as riding a bike' Anyway....no advice but we're in the same boat!

midnightexpress · 22/09/2010 21:59

At this stage, I'd get him a bike you can take the pedals off that he can then use once he's got the hang of balancing. Balance bikes are brilliant. I could be a balance bike saleswoman, me. I love them.

witlesssarah · 22/09/2010 22:05

I don't know when the out of stabilisers obsession started. Children didn't get bikes till later when I was young because they were expensive. DH thinks he was 9 and I was about 7 - why do they need to learn any earlier than this?

zam72 · 22/09/2010 22:05

Can I ask - Do you think you need to be a bit co-ordinated to use a balance bike or does co-ordination kinda come from using the balance bike - kinda chicken and egg type of thing? And can you remove the pedals on all/most normal bikes or only some?

dobby2001 · 22/09/2010 22:20

Hi Zam I hope I can help, I run a children's cycling club and we often have discussions with parents about the use of stabilisers especially in relation to older kids. The problem with stabilisers is that they give children a false sense of security which means when any attempt to remove stabilsiers happens - they are usually spooked by the sudden need to control everything and find it too hard/distressing.

Balance bikes are the way to go and most normal bikes can easily have the pedals removed - if you ask your local independent bike shop they are most liekly to happlily show you how if you are unsure what to do.
The other importent thing to do is lower the seat down so that your child can easily touch the floor with the soles of his feet - many parents mistakenly think you should be on the balls or tiptoes but not in the early days when he needs to feel confident and stable. Find a level or slightly downwards sloping area to cycle. As his confidence to "walk" the bike increases he will take longer strides and then start to push off with raised feet (this will take time) this is when he is starting to get the balance and co-odrination needed to ride with pedels but leave him at this stage awhile until he feels happy to try. Chcek with your local council about child lessons as some do special events to get kids riding, usually for free.

Or if you are in the Beckenham area my club are holding one this weekend?!

Best of luck

dobby2001 · 22/09/2010 22:21

Oh and my DD didnt learn to get her stabilisers off until she was seven - and shes a chunky monkey too

zam72 · 22/09/2010 22:37

Thanks dobby! No...not in the Beckenham area unfortunately but I did buy the bike from an independent cycle shop who were brilliantly helpful - so maybe I'll take a trip back there. And makes sense about the lower pedals - he's definitely on the balls of his feet now. Thanks!

DontCallMeBaby · 22/09/2010 22:41

DD has just nearly got the hang of riding without stabilisers, at 6.6. We took the pedals off (just the pedals, not the cranks they attach to, so very easy to remove) and had her scoot about a bit, mainly up and down our drive, which is on a bit of a slope. Then she graduated to an alleyway near the house, which is paved, so nice and smooth, on a similarly gentle slop but obviously much longer than our drive. Once she was happy with that the pedals went back on, so she could at first just rest her feet, then turn them a bit. After a while you could see she was actually getting up a bit of extra speed, ie actually pedalling, and then the balance just clicked, and she could pedal along on the flat or uphill. The one thing she has yet to master is getting started, DH has to prop her up and push her a bit until she gets up speed!

She was on a bike with stabilisers at 2 - DH didn't like the idea of a balance bike, he didn't have anything like that ... she started off well with the stabilisers but got very dependent on them. Then once they get a bit bigger, the stabilisrs are a liability because the child is heavier with a higher centre of gravity, and the stabilisers can tip them over - happened to DD last summer and she wouldn't get back on her bike for nearly a year.

midnightexpress · 22/09/2010 23:06

witless sarah - because it's fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. And healthy. The DSs love riding their bikes, and you can go way further if they're on bikes than just walking.

alardi · 23/09/2010 13:16

I agree with U, WitlessSarah. We R a cycling mad family, btw.
Have never had a balance bike & they all learnt 2 ride w/out stabs at age 3-4, too young for my liking!

sparkle1977 · 23/09/2010 13:29

I wouldn't worry unnecessarily. My DS's are younger than yours but my eldest (almost 4) shows no sign of being interested in bikes, trikes or scooters. He has a balance bike which he loves and I would be another to recommend one. DS has a kiddimoto one which looks like a motorbike IYKWIM.

We have got him a proper bike for his upcoming birthday to try and encourage him but I honestly don't know how well it will go down.

They all do things at their own paces and it seems encouragement from us will not make them do things quicker if their interest is not there.

I think I was about 7/8 before I learnt to ride a bike and I didn't have much interest either so each to their own.

witlesssarah · 23/09/2010 13:32

Yes, midnightexpress, my DS (4)is on his bike and scooter constantly, but I have no concern to get him off stabilisers. The OP is worried that her child is 'behind' because he can't ride without stabilisers at 5. A friend with a DD of 4 had her in tears because he refused to let her ride with stabilisers any longer because he felt 'she could do it if she tried'. Its becoming another milestone (millstone).

midnightexpress · 23/09/2010 16:04

They can't zoom with stabilisers though and zooming is, in their opinion, most of the fun.

Dancergirl · 23/09/2010 16:21

Have you considered bike riding tuition?

Our oldest dd is 9 and we have been trying for years to teach her to ride without stabilisers. She was getting very frustrated and feeling babyish.

This summer we booked 2 lessons with a cycle instructor in the local park. In one 45-min lesson she was riding! In fact she picked it up so quickly that by the next lesson he was teaching her pre cycling proficiency stuff. Think he charged around £45 for the 2 lessons - best money we have spent. Sometimes you have to give over to the professionals for this sort of thing - bit like learning to swim.

Google cycle instructors or cycle tuition - there are loads of them.

Original poster

nicejewishgirl · 24/09/2010 16:34

It's reasuring to know that it's not just my 5 year old finding bike riding difficult.
For example he is terrifed of riding it down any even slight slope. I'm always saying"it's alright son don't panic use the breaks downhill" I'm not in a rush to get him off stabilisers, just wish he had the confidence with stabilisers! I can remember kept my stabilisers until I was 7.
I've picked up some good ideas from the replies though- a cycle instructor, or using the smaller bike so he can scoot along. (Not convinced about bal bikes just spent over £150 on his bike and feels like an expensive backward step)
My ds findsall practical things hard- I could start other topics on his difficulty with writing, swimming, tying his shoe laces, using a knife and fork. Yet his reading is so advanced! The academic stuff is no problem. I know they all learn at diiferent rates though and he is only 5. I must admit I was similar as a child and now!-earlier reader but couldn't swim until I was 9. i needed 3 years worth of driving lessons. The difference is though don't think my ds can be bothered to try because it's difficult for him.

OP posts:

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