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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Midwife says baby NOT allowed out for 10 days

67 replies

theITgirl · 22/09/2010 10:43

Posting on behalf of a friend who is due at end-Oct

This is what the midwife has said to her, and she asked me about last night. BTW this is when she gets home from hospital.

I said I was going out before 10 days with both of mine (both C-Sections) and I thought this was nonsense. Nobody is planning on climbing Mt Everest just a gentle potter to the corner shop to buy a paper.

But my babies were born in April & May so it was a bit warmer. We agreed that friend might not want to go out, I had just not heard of it not being allowed.

I wanted to double-check on here that I was not giving stupid advice.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lucysmum · 22/09/2010 11:01

I wish someone had said this to me and my DH. In the nicest possible way, he assumed i was back to normal after a couple of days and would want to get out, which I did with all 3. With hindsight, I wished I'd just gone to bed with baby and been waited on hand and foot, as it was the last chance I was going to get to relax for a long time ! And however well you think you are, your body does need to recover. So maybe MW thinking of mother more than baby ?

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 22/09/2010 11:03

Taking them out, even for a short walk, also helps them get used to the night/day distinction faster.

I have winter babies and am out as soon as possible with them. Pretty sure DD went shopping before she was even 12 hours old (took a bit longer with DS as he was c-section).

Merrylegs · 22/09/2010 11:05

When I was expecting DS2 a friend told me to try and stay in bed for 10 days after. I was really surprised at her telling me as she was a really active, busy, young, right-on 'cool' kind of person and I thought her advice was terribly old fashioned. But actually, although I didn't manage 10 days, I certainly took it easy for the first week and tried to stay in bed, no visitors etc and god, it made such a difference to my recovery, establishing feeding etc.

It was the best advice I had, tbh.

Rhian82 · 22/09/2010 11:05

That's insane. DS was born in October - DH took him to the park when he was two days old. The midwives were rubbish at giving a time or coming round when they said though, so they obviously expected you to be in all the time.

When he was about 6 days old, the midwife said she'd be round in the morning. I arranged for a friend to visit at lunch - she was literally popping by in her lunch hour, and she's a good friend so I felt no obligation to be dressed up or have the house in order! The midwife was several hours late and ended up being there at the same time as my friend. It was annoying enough as I didn't get to chat properly, but after she left the midwife criticised me for having guests, saying I shouldn't be trying to do to much or cater for other people at that point!

lovechildofBjork · 22/09/2010 11:05

I hope it is advice on taking it esy rather than a prescriptive "you can't take baby out", which is ridiculous. I took DS out when he was about 8 days old, in October, and although it was tiring and we couldn't go far, it was also lovely after so much time in hospital and the house.
Silly MW!!!

Original poster

theITgirl · 22/09/2010 11:12

Nikelbabe, will agree that friend probably is underestimating the need for rest. She is having an easy pregnancy so far (no backache, just a bit of heartburn at night). Wondering what she will do between start of maternity leave & birth of baby. I suggested stockpiling the freezer so she & her DH do not have to worry about cooking after the baby is born.

However she is intelligent and sensible and will rest / sleep if she needs to. She also knows what my two were like at the beginning so is pretty realistic about what is achievable in the first few months.

OP posts:

Bramshott · 22/09/2010 11:14

I think it's very old advice. DD1 was a premmie, and born in the winter, and I lost count of the number of old ladies who said "oh, she's so small - should she be out?" to me .

foreverastudent · 22/09/2010 11:17

My DD came out of hospital on Xmas eve and had a very busy day out and about the next day.

funkychunkymunky · 22/09/2010 11:18

Of course she can go out! What a strange thing to say! Dd was born November and my midwife osirively encouraged me to get out and about. In fact, I think she was secretly a sling sales person.

sarah293 · 22/09/2010 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PaulineCampbellJones · 22/09/2010 11:21

merrylegs Wish I had had your friend's advice, it's very good and true. I tried so hard to be 'normal' I ended up being overwhelmed, not establishing feeding properly etc. Even though I was snowed in and climbing the walls I didn't make myself a nest. Ended up with PND and think had I had that advice, things would have been different.

otchayaniye · 22/09/2010 11:21

Eh? I had a planned section at around 34/35 weeks and was out and about all the time after two nights in hospital. This was in Singapore, where the dotors aren't stuck in the 1950s.

I think I was in a restaurant for dinner on days 4/5/6/7 and 8.

mummynoseynora · 22/09/2010 11:25

uh oh! I went out in the SNOW of all things in january with my DS - post c-section.... the house arrest people must be on to me surely ... oh no wait.... I forgot to leave on that secret tag that just looked like a hospital name tag

ignore the midwife! If she is up to it its fine!

JamieJay · 22/09/2010 11:27

I was out and about with DD more in the first 10 days then I am now when she's 6 weeks! However I didn't have a c section.

Maybe taking merrylegs approach would be good for the mum's recovery but can't think of any reason why baby would have to stay in unless there are any health complications

Bucharest · 22/09/2010 11:29

Is she about 90? I think they used to be like this in my Gran's day, when women were kept in hospital for about a fortnight.

Of course, when dd was born (in October, in the south of Italy, with temperatures in the high 20s) I was told off in the hospital for forgetting the woollen tights that babies "have" to wear, and then when she was about 6 mths old a pharmacist friend sniffed the air (from my balcony) and said "I think you can start taking her out for 10 mins or so in the morning now".

ilovemydogandMrObama · 22/09/2010 11:32

Perhaps she's confusing when puppies get their initial injections and cannot go out of the house?

DanceInTheDark · 22/09/2010 11:39

With DS1 i was too scared to venture out for a week or so in case my insides fell out!(that's what it felt like!)

With DS2 i was home the same day and out the house back to toddler group with DS1 on day 3.

With DS3 i was home within a few hours via Sainsburys ()then did the (afternoon) school run the next day! Toddler group on day 5.

It is knackering having a newborn and pretending that things are normal contributed to my PND after DS2 which went undiagnosed until recently (DS3 is now 2!)

Rhian82 · 22/09/2010 11:39

My mother-in-law did keep talking about how strange she found it that I could come home from hospital just a day or so after the birth, when she'd had to stay in for weeks.

I think she was quite scarred by it though - DH is the younger brother, and apparently when she was 'allowed' out of hospital after having him, his older brother (about 18 months) apparently didn't recognise her!

Nefret · 22/09/2010 11:40

Mine were both out a few days after birth, one was born in April, the other in November. I can't see any reason for not going out and I'm sure it would be very impractical for a lot of people too.

otchayaniye · 22/09/2010 15:01

One thing I forgot about Singapore, all the aunties used to tut and nag me and ask why I was out with such a newborn as they follow Chinese confinement rules. For 40 days you basically hole yourself up at home with a confinement nanny and don't wash and basically eat special food (weird tonic wines, odd ginger pork soups, more or less a sort of yin/yan TCM type of diet)

More here

seeker · 22/09/2010 15:09

It's not the baby they don't want to go out - it's the mother!

Shoshe · 22/09/2010 15:18

DSIL, took her older two, to school, went onto the hospital Had DN and was out and about to pick them up at 3 0'clock, and took them to school again the next day (OK school was just down the road, but still.)

TotorosOcarina · 22/09/2010 15:21

I was out at mothercare the same day I had DS, I am NOT encouraging this, looking back I should've been in bed, but its daft.

2 or 3 days but thats it.

otchayaniye · 22/09/2010 15:42

Well, depends what kind of birth she has but I reckon most natural, or section can shuffle up the road and back. Only she'll know how she feels.

I had a planned section and was up and at em in 24 hours and walking quite normally by day 3.

That said, my mother liked that she was 'confined' for 10 days and left feeligng rested and confident in breastfeeding and ended fed me til 18 months which I gather was unusual in the 70s.

midwifemuse · 22/09/2010 17:07

Yes, it does make a midwives life easier. It is difficult to give women times for a visit as a midwife doesn't know how long a visit is going to be until she gets to a new Mum and baby. It's bad if you have told a woman a time but then there is a real problem to deal with first and you are clock-watching. I will only say morning or afternoon and avoid school pick-up times if the woman has told me that she has to pick an older one up.People grumble about having to wait for a visit, or refuse to wait, but if they are having a new appliance delivered they will wait in all day. Very odd priorities.
In answer to the going out, when you feel able and as long as baby is dressed for the weather!

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