So tired, please help!

[ClarasMummy]

My DD 2.4 will not fall asleep in her own bed without becoming hysterical, we have resorted to letting her sleep in our bed at night. What this means is that myself and DH have to go to bed at 8 at night and never have any time to be together, as well as incredibly disturbed nights as she's not a particularly peaceful sleeper and thrashes and kicks out a lot. As a result DH and I are utterly exhausted and as I am currently 24 weeks pregnant I know it can't go on.

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to get her to fall asleep in her own bed at night?
I am beyond tired...

This happened to us and is really common. DS2 used to come through every night and I ended up having to go into his bed just to get a decent night's sleep.

Eventually, I would take him back through and sit at the side of his bed til he fell asleep. Next night, would move the stool nearer the door, then the next night outside the door, all the while reassuring him that I was going to be there til he fell asleep. It didn't take long for him to stay in his own bed.

I wasn't pregnant though (but 2 young kids and totally knackered!).

Now he's 9 I long for the days when he would come into my bed and snuggle in! Wahhh!!!

Thanks for the reply.

I'm going to try the stool thing, although I'm not sure it will work, she gets so hysterical about it and there is no way I can just leave her crying.

It's making everyone miserable though so I'm prepared to try anything.

If you are literally sitting beside her bed on a stool, stroking her forehead, she'll be fine. Then move it behind her bed the next night etc etc til you get out of the room. Exhausting I know (dh?) but it really worked for us.

Crikey, I really feel for you. You're right though, you've got to get it sorted. It might get 'worse' before it gets better whilst you try to fix things.

Do you know why she gets hysterical? Is it fear of something? You leaving/dark etc. There are ways to fix these (monster spray gets rid of monsters etc. add lavender and water, lavender is soothing and helps sleep so good smell to have. If scared of you leaving then something that can represent you etc.)

Our DD would trot into our room, often I'm too tired to argue, but this only fuels it for the next few nights. I think once you've committed to it you need to follow through - however tired you are. Any chance of swapping nights (one night you and one night DH) whilst the other sleeps somewhere else (lounge on blow up mattress?) so that you get one night of sleep every other night whilst you 'fix' this.

Have you tried rewards as well?

Something that really worked with my eldest was sitting with her and singing and then when she was dropping off taking off my dressing gown and lying it next to her so she could cuddle it and it was warm and smelled like me I guess!
We then graduated to having a little heart shaped lavendar pillow made from the pocket of my dressing gown (there's just a hole there now, lol) and having it tied round the neck of her teddy.

Ds had aways been a really good sleeper but went through an awful stage when I was pregnant with no.2 (maybe they sense the change?). He was 2.2 at the time, and we did a few things to help him:

Reward chart-sticker for going to bed nicely and sad face for not, with a small treat for 3 stickers and bigger treat for a weeks worth.

Groclock-shows night and day, and the sun setting.

Torch/nightlight-Gave ds a torch to read by (look at picture books) when he was in bed, he has it next to his bed so knows he can get it at any time.

Returning at intervals-Told ds if he stayed in bed I would go back to check him/tell him a made up story in 10mins. Usually he would be asleep after 1/2 repetitions of this.

Goodluck and hope it improves for you