What is the best way to encourage a 'shy' toddler?

[Ceebee74]

DS2 is 21 mo and is very wary of most people (including his own grandparents ). If anyone even speaks to him, he will say 'no' very emphatically and bury his head in my neck (or jump into my arms if I am not already carrying him!)

Not really sure what to do - is it just a phase? Do I try and get him to interact with people?

He is perfectly fine at nursery (but he has been there since he was 9 mo)

Any advice??

Keep him close to you to build up his confidence. There's no point trying to get him to do things he's not ready for, as it'll only prolong the phase. Give him lots of time and attention and reassurance, and he'll get there! (But he's still so little)

Please please please do not push him to interact if he is not comfortable doing so.

As BooKanga says, let him be near you and that will give him the confidence to branch out when he is ready.

I was painfully shy as a child and I think it lasted longer than it might have otherwise if my mother hadn't forced me to say hi or hug or kiss (in the case of relatives) people I wasn't sure of.

He's just a baby still, really. Let him be him and if him is shy, so be it.

Give him time. It is a phase, to a degree and it's likely to improve on its own as he gets older.

DS1 was a bit like this, but starting preschool was far more painless than I anticipated and has done so much for him in developing his confidence.

It will get better with time.

Thanks for the advice - I will definitely take it on board.

Just wanted to check what the best way to deal with it so I don't give him 'issues' etc

DS1 was (and still is) such a sociable baby/child that I am at a loss on how to handle DS2

DS1 is also 21 months as is very cautious and weary of people even extended family. The only person he will go to is my sister and thats if she comes to our home.At daycare he still sulks or occasionally cries when left. He doesnt take well do new places that are loud , yet he loves going to the mall??? So i'm in a similar position hard to know sometimes how to balance the encouragement without him feeling uncomfortable.

what is the age gap between your dc?

my ds2 gets confidence from his brother and will do things with him that he will not do with/for an adult. For example, he is still a bit scared of cats but if I say "ds1 will you take ds2 to stroke the cat" then they will go (when in a good mood of course). On the other hand if I ask ds2 directly to do something he finds scary then he will go back into his shell IYKWIM. I think it is partly the fact that he is copying his big brother and partly the fact that nobody has directly asked HIM to do anything.

DD is nearly 3yo and she's always been like this. I would agree with other posters on here that you shouldn't push it or try to fix it. It will only make it worse. I've just come to accept that I've got a clingy DD and she's very shy (until she's got used to people and "warmed up" and then she's really outgoing).

FWIW, I know a child psychologist who says that it's a sign of intelligence! not sure if there's any truth in that but I certainly think my DD's a very bright spark

What a relief to read these posts, my DD2 is 3 and is incredibly shy too, i keep taking her along to various activities like gymnastics and football, but she didn't want to join in with any of them. I then felt so guilty for taking her in the first place as she was obviously so relieved to leave! She's also been in nursery since she was 1 and seems relatively confident there, not overly so though