Should dd be more upset about her dead pet?

[GlendaSugarbean]

Dd has 2 pet rats. One is her favourite, and the other is just there for company really. (If that sounds a bit mean, it came about because one rat is naturally really calm and friendly, and the other is jumpy, skittery and will never ever sit still for a stroke or a cuddle - as far as I can see both rats are quite happy with the situation!)

So, a week ago, second favourite rat died.

Dd didn't notice. I suppose that every time she went to get favourite rat out to play she assumed that skittery rat was hiding. It's a big cage with lots of places to snooze in peace.

Dh and I were completely crap not to sit her down and explain that her rat had died. We kept waiting for her to notice and I had planned to 'discover' the missing rat with her and talk to her about it then.

Then today in the car she piped up from the back "Oh, by the way Mum, I think Tinkerbell has died. She's not in her cage anywhere".

I said "Oh dear, that's very sad"

Dh asked dd if she was okay.

She wasn't being flippant or anything, she just looked me in the eye and said "it's okay Mummy, I'm fine".

And that was that.

She really does seem absolutely fine about it. Is that a bit odd?

She is 4.

children under the age of about 7 or 8 have little understanding of death - they take it matter of factly so it's perfectly normal

but the whole totally removing the rat and its disappeared so dead may have been a mistake but not a huge one

The cat ate dd's pet hamster when she was about that age. She sternly chastised him, then turned to me and asked brightly "Right, can I get a rabbit now then?"

Rofl @ can I get a rabbit now

I'm expecting DC3. DC1 (6) asked why the world isn't bursting at the seams when everyone is having babies. I explained that people die when they get old and their bodies get tired. Without my knowledge he explained this to DS2 (4) in even more simplified terms.

DS2 greeted his grandparents on their latest visit with asking them to get on with dieing!

I was mortified and told him he was being really rude along with taking him on a trip to the time out step. He was very confused and said but the baby can't be born till they're dead!

I don't think the concept of death is their at 4 and fortunately for me my parents have a sense of humour.

I once had a 4 year old tell me she was going to get run over outside her house so that she could cuddle her cat that had been run over a few days previous. Very sad to hear, but they just do not fully understand death at that age.