10 month old suddenly afraid of bath - after traumatic incident

[PavlovtheCat]

On sunday, while running the bath for the kids, i had an accident which ended with me breaking my nose, here is the incident if you want to read it, as its long!

Anyway. DD is 4, and she was very shaken by it, we tried to keep it calm for her, put calm tv on, i showed her i was fine (before going to A&E!) and came to see her when i got back etc. she refused to go into the bathroom on monday, and on tuesday DH ran a bath, and just put her in it, to get her over her reluctance. The next day, she got in a bath with me, no fear any more.

DS is 10 months old. I took him out of the bathroom, and passed him to DH, who put him next to us while he made sure i was ok, gave me something for the blood and well, while he panicked. He then looked after him, got him ready for bed, as we wanted the routine of both kids the be the same. I fed him as normal before going to A&E, and he has been fine. I did not consider it could/would affect him in any way.

Anyway, since then, he has not had a bath, just a bowl wash. DH ran his bucket and had it in the bath, and put DS in it, and he freaked out, he squawked and kicked his legs and when I went in he was terrified, would not have his legs in it. He wanted me, and when i took him from DH he clung to me like a limpet and when i tried to put him back in the bath, talking soothingly, he literally shook, his whole body and he clung to me.

We took the bucket into the kitchen, and he stood in it like he normally does, grinned, weed in it! (as normal!) and all was fine, with him bouncing in the water as he always does.

So, i guess i want to know firstly, whether at 10 months he can be affected so badly by a situation like what happened, and secondly, what can we do to help him get over this as he is so young. He has, up to now adored bathtime and spends a lot of time in the bath with his sister.

I feel really shit as I did not think to reassure him instantly, as he appeared fine, and DD did not, he could not tell me

Poor you and your family too (I read the other thread).

Can you get him used to being in the bathroom again but not at bathtime? So let him come in in the morning and watch you get ready for work etc? Maybe not give him a bath for a few days, then work up to letting him watch DD in the bath, then maybe putting his hands in, then eventually having a bath?

That is a good idea, about seeing DD get into the bath first etc. We don't really do 'bathtime' at set times (although we are starting to now DD goes to school!), DS is so messy he normally gets a bath whenever he needs one!

DH is also really down about this, and that is unusual for him. He is normally a 'get over it, it has not done him any hard, he won't even remember it' type of bloke. And he said that he is shocked at how it has so clearly effected him. He is such a chilled baby who is not afraid of anything really (maybe a little clingy sometimes if the hoover goes on and he is too close, or if a power drill is started up, but then, so am i!), he loves life and I have never ever seen him terrified like this .

I hope we haven't damaged him long term

Pavlov, you nor your DH can change what happened before but you can reassure your DS from now onwards.

He's only little and with plenty of reassurance and going slowly with him, he'll get over his fear. He'll be looking to you to make it ok for him. Try not to act tense or anxious when you're trying to get him happy with bath time again - just act as if it doesn't matter and give him cuddles and let him have his bucket bath in the kitchen!

Was there a loud noise when the accident happened? If so, he could be expecting a big noise again and that might be what's causing the bother? (I just re read your last post properly and made me think as my DS is like yours - scared and clingy when the hoover goes/drill or other loud things)

At the end of the day? He's likely to be more tired so less tolerant of anything loud hence the reaction when you tried to bathe him (so he thought there would be a crash again). Just a thought.

Urgh I'm tired - I didn't mean to put a question mark after "at the end of the day"! I meant he'll be tired by the evening iyswim.

oh yes, there was a big crash as the shower screen came tumbling down and smashed into the sink which shattered, followed by me yelling for DH and him running in to the bathroom yelling 'what the fuck just happened? OMG are you ok? DD are you ok? fuck! fuck!' so, yes, some loud noise !

the thing with the incident on sunday, he was not in the bath as it happened, he was on the floor next to me, while DDs bath was running.

How about going int he big bath with you?

Ah - I think it's the noise and reaction of your DH then. I think your DS just needs a bit of time to realise that when he's in that situation, your DH wont be shouting and there wont be a big crash.

Yes, a bath with me would be good i think. I will do that tomorrow afternoon after work, when DD is still at school so I can concentrate on just me and him. I have in fact had a bath with DD, the second time she went in after the incident and she is fine now.

just to add Pavlov is your ds breastfed. I only ask because dd had a similar reaction as you describe to a much less traumatic bathroom experience and even getting in with me was traumatic to start with but I took the beanbag in and fed her in bathroom a couple of times, then sat in the bath to feed her without water, then finally with water...she is now back to loving baths

oh good idea to feed in the bathroom! (i have been known to feed him while I soak in the bath, when DH is around to take him back if he falls asleep on me!

Had a bath with DS and DD this morning, all is fine now.

DH was in with DD, and we put him on the edge of the bath with me holding him. He was excited, squealing with happy anticipation until i took him near the bath, then was reluctant and looked at me with a little apprehension/fear, and sort of scrabbled away into me, so we made lots of happy noises and i turned him to see DD having lots of fun and let him just splash his feet, he started laughing so he went in with DH. Then we swapped and I went in, and he had a great time as always.

So you were all right! just needed some gentleness and time and show him it was all ok this time.

Great to hear that!

try putting bucket in bath? and is it possible to play some music that baby likes near the bathroom?

Hi,
my little by had a similar experience at the same age, he very excitedly crawled into the sea - calm little lapping waves and then swallowed a load which put him off the sea. Having absolutely loved baths before hand he suddenly screamed and panicked in the bath - I could only put it down to the sea incident. We just kept going, he just stood at the side of the bath and played games with pots and balls instead of previously lying down and kicking etc, eventually he was fine again, and taking him swimming more helped. With everything it seems the best thing is to not make an issue out of it, keep doing it, keep moving swiflty on and eventually they seem to forget they had a problem! good luck, bath is so lovely its horrible when it stops being enjoyed.