How would you react in these specific scenarios?

[YunoYurbubson]

1. Your 4yo asks for an apple juice. You say no, as she has just had a pink milk. You offer water instead. She trots off, helps herself to an apple juice and wanders into the room drinking it. When you notice you tell her that she can't have it. She drinks it as fast as she can and you end up having an undignified scuffle trying to get the last bit away from her.

1. Your 2yo comes up behind you in the kitchen, gives you a cuddle and bites you on the back of your thigh.

1. Every time your 2yo cuddles you he bites your clothes. You tell him no and end up trying to wriggle free of him without tearing your clothes from his clamped jaw. The more you firmly tell him "NO" and that mummy is NOT laughing, the more he thinks it is hillarious.

1. Serious boring talk about how Mummy is in charge and we do what she says. Probably water to drink for the rest of the day, or no pink milk tomorrow, or no apple juice, something like that (actually I'd probably rant and shout and march 4yo off to stand in the porch while I calmed down, and then do the above)

2. Yaagh! Bitey thing! Getoff getoff! Ow! Ow! That hurt! Mummy is very sad now. (but my current 2yo is responsive to other people's emotions so that would work)

3. Timeout. "No! No biting" and then 2 minutes of being ignored. Much boringness.

All this depends on the child a lot though. I have 3 and would have done different things for each child.

I think you are right about it depending on the child. 4yo dd has always responded well to explanations, and is generally quite keen to please. 2yo ds on the other hand doesn't give a stuff if you are feeling sad or cross, or if there is a good reason for him not to do something. It's not even naughtiness or wanting a reaction, with him it is simply that not doing exactly as he pleases doesn't occur to him.

Then poor dd sees ds getting away with astonishingly bad behaviour with very little in the way of consequences because we're still working out our way of dealing with a more challenging child, and she thinks "I'll have some of that!" and is really naughty too.

I have had a long chat about the importance of "no means no, and right away" and I have said nothing but water and milk tomorrow.

Obviously all depends on the child but fwiw

1. If it's not too late to actually take it off her I would have done. Would have given her an immediate punishment - whatever the kind of thing is you normally do (time out in room, tv off, no treat as promised, etc). I myself wouldn't punish her the following day, esp for something relatively trivial - save the big punishments for something more important! In future, everything you don't want her to have free access to, keep everything out of reach.

2 and 3. No response at all - if he's doing it to get a reaction and he doesn't get one, he'll eventually realise it's not worth it.

Of course dd is playing up as she sees her 2yo sibling 'getting away with it'. I have the same with 3 and 1yo. All you can do is try and be consistent with modelling good behaviour for both of them, and make a real point of showing dd that ds is not actually getting away with things - show her that his actions will have consequences too, albeit not exactly punitive ones, but ones that are relevant to his age iyswim.