how much punishment should I dish out?

[foxter]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first ever post, so please be gentle!

My problem is: my 5 year old DS threw something at another 5 y.o yesterday, after getting hit in the face with a light sabre by him. Unfortunately, this unknown object (it was outside and he didn't know what he threw) hit the other child just below the eye, cutting it and giving him the most spectacular black eye - there was also a scary amount of blood, but it didn't need stitches.

Now, obviously I gave my DS a strong telling off, followed by sending him to his room.
He was upset himself and crying so I tried not to make it worse by shouting at him. However, I'm not sure whether I should leave it now, or make more of an issue out of it?

On the one hand, throwing things is not acceptable, but on the other, the other boy is a known hitter who we've (other parents) always said would end up getting thumped himself by a bigger kid. I just wish it hadn't been mine...

What are people's thoughts on this?

He's very little, will not always foresee the consequesnce of his actions and will not have intended to cause a blood bath. I would think the sight of it all and the fuss will have shocked him and punished him enough. I would have a gentle chat now and leave it there. These things happen with children though it's always horrible when you own are involved.

Mmmm... think my inclination would be to talk quietly and calmly to your DS about what led to him throwing the object, explain what he did was wrong and get him to apologise to the other child. Then keep a close eye on how they are with each other.

Were they playing together with the light sabre? Was he hit in the face accidentally or did the other child mean to do it?

If it was accidental then he needs to see that accidents happen and he shouldn't retaliate. If it was deliberate he needs to understand that two wrongs don't make a right and because the other child ended up the worse off, your DS will be viewed more strongly than the other boy even though he started it!

Hope that helps.

Thanks!

jem44, that's about what I was thinking. I just feel awful about it, even though I know that I couldn't have prevented it (without hovering over them constantly).

NikkiH, I got him to apologise straight away, before going to his bedroom. I also explained that although he probably didn't think it was fair that he got told off because he didn't start it, it was never acceptable to throw things (or hit), and that he should have come and told me if he was hurt when he was hit by the light sabre.

I couldn't establish whether or not it was an accident or not, initially my younger DS (4) said that his brother had done it because the other child was hurting the little girl from across the road. But who knows.